Struggle to meet people with 4&1 year old

[Olivegreenstrawberries]

I've got two boys. One is 4 who is very easy to look after and the other is 1 who is a handful mainly because he can't keep still and puts everything in his mouth.

I've started to struggle with motivation to meet up for play dates because I find it hard to leave the house on my own with both of them anyway but with the thought of meeting at a specific time to see others just makes it more stress ful. And then it's not like I can spend much time with the parent because all I am doing is running around after the one year old. He doesn't even like going on the swings...because that involves him sitting down!

I know that it's not good for us always to be doing stuff on our own but it's just not enjoyable to meet up with others.

When I had one going to the park was easy the kids would run around together and I could chat with the parent. That seems impossible now.

I don't know weather this is a two child thing or more just because the one year is such a little live wire.

I feel like I'd only like to meet friends with a 1 year old but then what's the point as we are both running around after them and my 4 year old gets bored as he's the only older one.

Just wondering if this stage will pass?!

Yes I feel your pain. Had few years of this. Mine were 1 and 3. It was shit til they were about 6 and 8. Forget meeting anyone except stressed out mums with same aged kids! Chatting was non existent. Parties , as in kids ones, are your best bet. They create mayhem and you can chat and drink!

Why not do play dates in the park? Let the kids/baby run around and explore?

I think it's better for everyone's mental health to be out and about rather than stuck indoors staring at the same 4 walls and the same toys.

Does the 4yr old go to preschool or nursery?

I'm talking about parks. When we're at the park 4 year old will run off and entertain himself. 1 year old will find rubbish to put in his mouth even if it's a clean playground he will try to eat leaves and mud or lick puddles. I can't keep my eyes off him for one min.

When my eldest was this age he didn't go through that stage of putting everything in his mouth and he enjoyed going on the swings so I could chat then. My youngest is a different ball game.

Yes 4 year just started school. it's more the weekends...like tomorrow I feel under pressure to meet up with friends who have 4 year old kids and I just don't think I can muster up the energy. I know this means 4 year old won't get to see his friends.
I'd rather just go just us 3, no pressure of time & no expectation to chat. I mean I like chatting but not when I have to stop the one year from finding the one tiny bit of dog poo in the whole park and trying to play with it.

Tbh I'd let him eat the leaves and lick the puddles. It won't hurt him. My age gap was the same, single parent so it was certainly easier our with company than home alone. As with you my youngest is the live wire.

Sometimes it's easier to invite people over, then you can relax a little more. Or soft play, where the one year old is more confined could be easier. I bought a few small stacking toys for high chairs and would meet friends in cafes and the one year olds would eat and play with toys, if yours would do that for an hour or so?

Soft play. Ideally one where they lock the gate/door and you can let the one year old loose to lick whatever the heck he likes.

I have the same ages children as you and yes it’s bloody hard work! I find play dates at friends’ houses, small pay centres or even swimming easier than the park! My one year old eats everything too! Remember that it’s just a phase and should get easier (with the one year old!) by the time they’re two!

I too was going to say soft play, mine are 5 and 16 months and our local garden centre has a fab soft play where they're both happy and I get to sit and have a hot coffee

Thanks all. I feel better about going to soft play. I think my hesitants to suggest that is a few of my friends are out doorsy but a park with others is just not worth the stress for me at the mo.