Feel like a horrible crap mum

[Dumbledoh]

I get soo short tempered at bedtime. Dd is 8, i said i can tuck her in now or she can stay up a bit later but needs to tuck herself in. She obviously chose the latter. Then changed her mind after having the playtime.
I repeated myself calmly probably 10 times explaining that its my time now and she chose that. In the end i lost it, saw red, shouted, took her upstairs angrily tucked her in then went upstairs to my room. Furious that she had put me in this foul mood.
Now im sitting here feeling so shit. I absolutely hate the way she is at bedtime but also hate when i lose my rag

Sorry but I don’t really understand. What did she do? Couldn’t you just tuck her in anytime or do you mean a story and other stuff too? Or just tuck her in at lights out time? It’s crap feeling like you’ve sent them to bed in a bad mood but tomorrow is a fresh start.

I'm afraid I'm not getting it either.
You allowed her to stay up past normal bedtime, knowing that she'd forfeit being ticked in as a consequence.
She then tried to get you to tuck her in, contrary to the agreement.
So you got angry, shouted and are now furious at her and yourself.
Is that right?

Are you struggling generally, or is it just bedtimes she pushes your buttons?

Jesus, pick your battles. Why were you so angry? Choose a bedtime, tuck her in and that's it. No need for dramatics, she's 8 not a toddler.

Bedtime is when fuses are short in our house too. Be kind to yourself, it’s done now and I’m assuming she’s asleep? Maybe talk it through in the morning and apologise? I’m sure you’re a lovely mum or you wouldn’t be feeling so guilty xx

Oh gosh this isn't very supportive is it?! You're human...sometimes we lose it. Forgive yourself, say sorry to her and move on. Try better next time ☺️

Don’t beat yourself up you’re deffo not a terrible mum!!! You sound too nice to me 😆 I wouldn’t give her the choice…I’d be choosing and that’s that! Xo

Stop beating yourself up !

DD was given the options, but perhaps she didn't realise what the actual options are

Next time she will

And will possibly want to go to bed earlier and you tuck her in.

Sounds like you were out of energy. We can't pour from an empty jug. Not great to get short tempered but we are all human. Try to look after yourself and you'll find you feel more even tempered. Do you get enough sleep and exercise, good food, social interaction etc?