feeling like the worst mum in the world right now nearly lost it with ds

[LEMONADEGIRL]

ok so trying to get ready to go into town, have toys upstairs for ds to play with and also a suitcase packed with things to pull out - so he can amuse himself whilst I try to run a brush through my hair and get some clothes on.

Ds is fixated on the stairgate and loves to stand and shake it. Which from a previous incident is potentially dangerous as he shook it that hard it snapped. Today he was making a beeline for it and a had a quick shake and pulled him away - tried to amuse him him for 5 mins. Anway back he goes and starts at it again. Grab him of it and a bit comes off and smacked me above my eyebrow. Felt really angry and had to count to 10 to stop myself really yelling at him to be honest felt could have done worse. So stuck him in the cot to keep him safe from himeself. He cried and cried and I just felt awful and took him out for cuddle and bf.

Anway he fell asleep and just popped my head around the door and still feel awful - he looks adorable.

You put him in a safe place and went to calm down. You did the best thing. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Well done for counting to 10 and not shouting etc. A lot of people would have just lost it but you didn't, so you have nothing to feel bad about. Putting him in his cot to keep him safe was a good idea - sometimes you just have to do that. It's better than risking an accident or you losing it.

Get a new stairgate though for goodness sake, before you have a nervous breakdown!

as the last poster said, you put him in a safe place whilst you went a calmed down. good on you for knowing that you need to calm down!

You didn't actually do ANYTHING bad, so don't see why you're so cross with yourself

You did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up, you put him somewhere safe and didn't shout. You don't have to be perfect - you are going to get angry and frustrated at times and you handled it well. Hope you are OK x

You have done VERY well. I would have been shouted (I do a lot of that sometimes!). You are well in control, take it from me. Anyway, if you did shout, it may have scared him into not doing it again. Dont be so hard on yourself, youve done nothing wrong.

Your baby is adorable and as long as you keep doing what youre doing, id say youre doing a whole lot better than a lot of us.

You did nothing wrong. You were keeping him safe, and he probably cried and cried because he was tired if he fell asleep.

Now you can go out without incident and a rested child. Sounds ok to me! Enjoy your day and don't give it another thought.

thank you all.

Have had a cup of tea and feel better now.

I have such a temper really and could feel the rage rising. I have always worried about it that is why i felt upset at my thoughts. As you all say though - I didn't actually do anything.

Little monkey has just woken, so will be calm and a fun mummy {smile}

Don't put so much pressure on yourself! Just be yourself - if you keep thinking 'must be calm and fun mummy' then you are constantly going to be beating yourself up and you'll never live up to your own expectations.

you are so right, I always put pressure on myself. Do need to relax more, bit pfb sometimes

And repeat after me
'I am doing the best I can, and that's fine. My child will not be harmed if I am not constantly perfect'

you are allowed to be pfb you know!

because soon enough you get to the point where your children congratulate you for not being a 'shouty mummy' at tea time!

I think sometimes when I feel really angry with my DC even though nothing really happens I still feel guilty because I had such angry and unpleasant thoughts. Think this sometimes gets tangled up and you end up thinking that you did more than you did because you felt so bad. I try to remind myself that they probably saw me being a bit impatient but they were not aware of how angry I felt inside. Though this is not to say that Shouty Mummy does not sometimes make an appearance .