Bored on maternity leave

[happyviolet]

Just that really - I absolutely adore my baby and spending time with her (she's 10 weeks tomorrow) but a lot of the time she's either napping or feeding and she's still quite small so isn't that interested in toys yet. I'm really trying to make the most of being lucky enough to have this time off with her but I feel like most of my day is spent watching tv with her napping or feeding, cleaning the house, changing nappies, doing tummy time/ sensory stuff or going for walks...?

I've signed up for baby classes but they seem to only take up a small amount of the day, and the people I met on NCT are never as keen as I am to meet up and do coffee (I'd say they wanted to see each other around once every two weeks, and I'd been hoping for some friends to see much more regularly than that!)

Any advise for me or AIBU to expect more from this time?

I was the same, found it so boring. And actually such a painful shock from my relatively full on job. I think anyone going from full time work to endless time on their hands is going to be bored. I got a bit miserable with it, felt like I'd lost my identity. BUT the good news is it ends soon. Once you hit 6 months you'll be squeezing in meals and milk and naps and you will struggle to fit it all in. And then they start crawling and it's all rapid progression from there and they become the best company. There's nothing revolutionary I can recommend to fill your time... I did the odd cinema trip, went swimming occasionally, did a lot of walking and even the odd zoo trip.

I'm the same - she's 5 weeks so any groups would be solely for my benefit and I'm pretty crap at being social anyway.

Yea it is boring at the beginning. I found my DS started being awake for longer and being a bit more interesting around 4 months.
Although I am typing this sitting on a park bench rocking the pram with sleeping baby in, so still not super fun.

Am the same on early Mat leave/shielding as nhs worker. Was so looking forward to finishing now it hasn’t even been a week yet am bored!!tried to book aquanatal classes, on waiting / cancellation list as fully booked🙄. Doing my baby’s nursery etc but I don’t want to just be in the house. So been going for walks after school run.

Book yourself into different baby groups you can go maybe 3x a week. Go for morning power walks while pushing the pram this is how I lost baby weight with my first. Definitely make friends so you can meet up for coffee/ lunches/walks.

I bought a sling and went hiking. I was bored stupid on maternity leave, lonely & miserable, and all my friends were working so I spent weeks walking in the Brecon Beacons. It was lovely. Baby tummy disappeared quickly too.

I was bored and lonely too OP

There are apps now like Peanut and Mushh (I think) which are designed to help you meet other local mums. Worth a try?

@WildBluebell

Get a job, lol. God, I with I had this problem.

You'd probably find yourself less busy if you quit your job as Complete Bitch. Such an unnecessary contribution; you know full well OP has a job else what on earth do you think she is on maternity leave from?!

Yeah with 1 child it can be pretty boring the first few months but they soon start interacting and then it's a bit more interesting.

I'm on baby 6 (8wk) and a sahm, I have lots to keep me busy but it can be mind numbingly boring as it's all the same. Friends I don't see very often which I did find hard initially but now not that bothered. DH is back to working away too, I am more productive with him not here which isn't a bad thing. I will be getting back to lifting in the gym soon (at home), that's great to break up my week and makes me happy.

There is a helpful window while they're completely immobile where you can sling them up and go to e.g. museums, galleries, exhibitions if you're interested in that kind of thing at all. But yeah, I found my first mat leave boring and lonely, tbh.

@WildBluebell

Get a job, lol. God, I with I had this problem.

What is wrong with you? Why on earth are you on Mumsnet?

@ReeseWitherfork she could also learn to read. OP makes it crystal clear she’s on maternity leave

It can definitely be challenging the first time around! It’s okay if you’re not enjoying the newborn stage. I think it’s better when they are more interactive.

Do you have family that could come over and spend time with you?

Do the baby groups if you want to. I’m second time around with twins so I can’t be bothered with all that. I put my music on and dance around with the babies, Netflix binge, try on clothes, online shop, plan the weekend, sort the garden. But I quite like being at home and I have twins so getting out is more tricky.

Routine helps. I always make sure to get out for a walk in the morning, and make sure I get up, get dressed and do makeup for the day. Then drink a tonne of coffee.

Sorry that’s probably not helpful but you’re not alone- babies can be boring!

You might find that your NCT friends get out more as their babies get older - if your baby is 9/10 weeks then that's still really really newborn. Depending on the due dates etc you could realistically have some people who are pretty much straight out of hospital at this stage (there was 11 weeks between baby's birth dates even though there were only 4 weeks between due dates) or just aren't as confident yet taking baby out. There were some in our NCT group who "got out" to baby groups etc relatively quickly (about 6/7 weeks) but then there were others who didn't feel confident until about 4-6 months, which is fine, just means that the others have to wait longer and/or find other friends. I'd echo just getting on with it - join classes/go to groups that are on and then you'll meet more people. Remember at this stage it's mostly for your benefit - it's really hard going and you need a release/friends if you're used to having that so use apps etc to find other parents in a similar position who do want to meet up socially. My NCT group were great, but they were only one of many "groups" that I had/have on the go (mine is 2.5 now) and most of them had their second baby around the same time so are doing it all again whereas we aren't doing that so naturally our lives have split right now and I spend more time with a different group of mum friends. But I also went back to work full-time so don't have much time now anyway. You will find your groups in time, but by the same token, don't feel bad for finding it boring - I didn't really like the newborn stage and much preferred it when he was doing things. He's basically just got more fun as he's got older as you can do more stuff, and if you usually have an active social life then yeah, it is boring, but you can make it better (if you want) by either doing things either baby or you related. Or if you want to spend time at home then also don't feel bad about it.

I found being at home with a baby mind-numbingly boring, also he cried much more so I went out all the time. Keep going to things or maybe see if some mums in baby groups want to go out for lunch/coffee after etc.

@WildBluebell

Get a job, lol. God, I with I had this problem.

Do you know what maternity leave means... What a loser you are

I used to try and be out the house as much as poss. And tbh DD was a terrible napper as a baby so I had to spend hours every day walking and pushing her in the pram just to get naps out of her. Which was shit anyway when the weather was bad, which was most of the time where I live!

I would do a baby group pretty much every day, sometimes two a day. I was lucky that my DM doesn't work and lives a few mins walk away too so I could always pop to hers or she could come to mine for adult company if I was at a loose end. I didn't start to make proper parent 'friends' until my DD was about 4/5 months old and that was slow going too.

OP how are you getting on now, any improvement with how you feel? I'm in the same boat, DD 4 months old.

Just to say I totally empathise with your post. Maternity leave so far is frequently boring and lonely. I plan my week ahead and try to make sure I have something on every day, otherwise the day feels so long. I do 2 classes a week,m and try to meet someone for coffee those days too so it lasts longer, or I go and buy a newspaper and sit and have coffee on my own. I go to the same place who know me now so I can chat with the staff a bit (sad I know)!

Other things I do:
Cinema trips to parent and baby showings (our local one does these once a week)
Visit national trust places (free with membership)
Bought an OS map and do LOTS of walking
Drive to see friends/family, even if they are far away - occupies lots of time!
I'm going to start taking our baby swimming soon
Go to mums and baby groups at our local churches (I'm not religious but still enjoy them)

Can your partner have your baby once a week in the evening while you go to something eg gym class/Pilates/whatever you fancy? I like having that to look forward to!

I think you're very lucky to feel bored with a newborn!

Some are not easy at all and all consuming... There's no time to be bored as all you do is console them from crying and realise you never showered or brushed your hair or teeth all day then it just starts all over again in the morning. I couldn't even leave the house most days as my baby was so difficult
-it just wasn't worth it! I hated it.

Try and enjoy it OP and make the most of the down time if that's what you're getting! Go out and let baby sleep in a sling or pram.. go have a coffee... Lunch... Sounds wonderful to me?

The “appreciate you have the luxury to be bored” sentiment may be annoying but it has some truth - a lot of mothers with newborns who sleep badly will be bewildered anyone sees this as a problem.

But if your baby really is content enough to be taken out then there’s nothing stopping you doing a good chunk of activities you might have enjoyed before.

Feelings of boredom/loneliness aren't less valid because some people have very difficult babies. Some who are bored/lonely may also have very difficult babies! I don't think it needs to be made a competition as to who has it worse. Telling someone who has said they are struggling to feel 'lucky' and 'enjoy it' is clearly not helpful. I'm sure we all agree motherhood is tough. Recognising that what 'hard' is may differ from person to person, but is just as valid and worthy of empathy/support, may be a kinder approach.

I can only speak from my own experience but perhaps it's different interpretations of boredom. I had a fairly difficult newborn, poor sleeper, cluster feeder, reflux, colic. I found the constant monotonous demands and being trapped in the house quite frankly boring.

Other things I do:
Cinema trips to parent and baby showings (our local one does these once a week)
Visit national trust places (free with membership)
Bought an OS map and do LOTS of walking
Drive to see friends/family, even if they are far away - occupies lots of time!
I'm going to start taking our baby swimming soon
Go to mums and baby groups at our local churches (I'm not religious but still enjoy them)

All good advice, I had a difficult newborn but still found the monotony boring. I was lucky I could go to loads of classes and groups etc, but baby cinema was a dream for me, DS was just too much work for that!

Can you take up a hobby? Learn a musical instrument, a language, or how to knit?? Anything really! But it's not often you get this sort of time, and when he's a few months old he'll be napping much less in the day and wanting far more attention, so try and do something with the time you won't have again for a loooong time.