Help please with potty dilemma

[caddie]

Introduced potty few weeks back to DS aged 2 4mnths. Some successes early and spent 4 days to introduce to pants last week (Gina Ford style). Likes pants and not many accidents at home but wouldn't really ever ask to go on potty - just agreed to go if I reminded him at right time! But now back at nursery and won't use potty so having lots of accidents which really upset him. Have to put him back in nappies which seems all wrong and worried he'll think he's failed. Not sure of course of action now - should I persevere or just leave it for a few months until he has more control? Baby due February too. Any tips so appreciated!

are the nursary helping at all/making any suggestions? If they are happy to help potty train then I would say put him back in pants - maybe they have a children's toilet rather than a potty? But (from others expereince, not my own), it may all go haywire in Feb anyway with new baby around, so you might be better off waiting? not really much help that was it?!

Personally I would put him in pull-ups at nursery and keep him in them until he is having all dry pull-ups - then make the switch to pants. Ask the nursery staff to tell you when he has had dry pull-ups all day. If he KNOWS when he has gone, can he ask the nursery staff to change him? If NOT then maybe he isn't ready yet - he is still quite little!

If he's only using the potty because you prompt him and not because he recognises the need to go, then perhaps he's not ready for the potty yet. 2y 4m is quite early, I think I'd put him back into nappies and take the pressure off a bit, particularly as you have a new baby due which will possibly add to the problems.

Thank you all - this is fab (my first time on mumsnet!). Mostly relieved that you're saying maybe he's a bit young as all the books seem to say start 18 months-2 years so I thought I was late. Probably best to take pressure off completely as not much chance of dry pull-ups until he tells me when he's going to go. Nursery very helpful, but don't think I can reasonably expect them to change and clear up several times a day......

The problem is that babies can't read the books! The time at which they are ready varies enormously, 18 months is normally given as the earliest time for training but the optimum time depends on the child. My dd was nearly 3 before she was ready, but once it was time, it was a doddle and she more or less trained herself.

It's also worth bearing in mind that boys are generally later than girls to be clean and dry.

Welcome to Mumsnet, by the way

Yes he is a bit young I would say. I've just sucessfully trained my ds and he's 29 months. He was ready and we did it in 2 weeks.

Thanks all! Another question - do you think we should keep encouraging him to use the potty in the meantime. He likes having a wee in it before we go out each morning but then won't go near it (although he quite likes it being 'his'). I'm inclined just to buy another one and leave them in the bathrooms for him to use if he wants but stop all the reminding?

caddie that sounds like a good plan. Perhaps get him into the habit of using it in the morning as long as he is happy to do so , and then perhaps before a bath , but I fear constant reminding just doesn't work in the long run as they don't have to become sensitive to their need to go. He may yet surprise you !