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Original poster

Leaving newborn overnight

48 replies

Fourleafclover93 · 06/10/2021 07:01

When did you leave your baby overnight with someone else?

DS is only 3 weeks but isn't a great sleeper and he's been unwell a few times (minor things like eye infection etc) which has meant he's been up every hour some nights.

Me and DH are so tired. Anyway we are going out for dinner when DS is almost 6 weeks. My parents will be watching him while we are out. We are really close to them, see them almost everyday, and have watched him for few hours.

Im considering asking them to have him overnight which I know they'll be delighted about so me and DH can get a good nights sleep. Parents said they will happily do it but my mum reckons I'll back out on the day saying I'm not ready to leave him.

Part of me feels really bad because most people I know wouldn't leave their baby for months potentially years.

Just wondered if anyone left their baby overnight at a few weeks? Did you regret it or feel better for being refreshed and catching up on sleep

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Divebar2021 · 06/10/2021 22:46

Holy crap I could not do it… that’s so tiny. I would definitely wanted someone to watch in the day so I could nap but I couldn’t have left DD that young.

MrsRetreiver · 06/10/2021 23:00

Another one who would have done it in a heartbeat if the opportunity had been there. Ended up being nearly six months in when I went away overnight, so the bulk of the broken nights were done with 😅 And I’ve never managed it since either…

LouLikesLollies · 07/10/2021 10:21

My mum had my 14 week old overnight a few weeks ago. They were literally in the next room which really helped! We were going to a wedding and I was having a few drinks for the first time. Firstly I missed him so much the whole time we were at the wedding and just wanted to get back! I breastfeed with one bottle of formula before bed and my boobs were an absolute nightmare and painful. I was terrified of getting mastitis and also spent most of the night up pumping so barely slept! I actually wish I could have just gone to bed at 8 and got 12 hours sleep instead of going to the wedding!!

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MrsSkylerWhite · 07/10/2021 10:23

I didn’t but would have if I was exhausted.
My condition would be that he was in the same room all night.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 07/10/2021 10:27

I wouldn't have done it so young tbh. I feel like babies only want and need their parents.
I didn't leave my son until he was 18 months although that was probably mainly due to the lockdowns and the fact he was still BF to sleep at night and in the middle of the night, otherwise I'd have done it earlier I imagine. For me 5 weeks is a touch too young but at the end of the day, your baby will be ok

SamMil · 07/10/2021 10:27

I've never left my 3 year old overnight, but only because we have no family nearby. If we did, I wouldn't have a problem and would definitely be happy leaving her with family at that age . Enjoy!

SamMil · 07/10/2021 10:28

(Sorry, can't edit post but I meant we have never both left her. I've left her with her dad overnight lots of times )

seaandsandcastles · 07/10/2021 11:07

I couldn’t have done it that young. I’ve done it at 9 months once and only out of necessity. The broken sleep is hard, but I couldn’t leave her knowing she needed me in the night.

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 07/10/2021 11:07

Fwiw, I didn't leave my oldest overnight until he was nearly 2, and I left my second with his DF at 3 weeks old, and if anything #2 is by far the more psychologically robust and our bond seems undamaged!

If you feel OK doing it, it is really not going to harm the baby.

Milkbottlelegs · 07/10/2021 11:16

It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks OP, it’s what you’re comfortable with that’s important.

What I would say though is that if when it comes to the time, don’t feel bad if you change your mind. I’ve really surprised myself with DC2 that I struggle to leave them in a way that I didn’t with DC1 (I think partly just not being used to it due to covid). Sometimes you don’t really know how you feel until you actually leave them. Reserve the right to change your mind!

Also, I’m guessing you are FF? In which case do try and take advantage of that in that you can both share the load a bit more overnight. I know it’s early days and in the beginning you sometimes just want support at night anyway. But you should both be able to get a chunk of sleep overnight if you share the feeds. Or if that doesn’t really work for you sometimes grabbing a few hours of sleep in the evening or early morning is helpful.

Scotabroad24 · 07/10/2021 11:19

Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or does. If you're close to your parents and they see him all the time I don't see any issue. It will do you and DH the world of good to get a decent sleep too.
I didn't have anyone to leave DS with overnight until he was 9 months but if I'd had the chance when I was sleep deprived when he was tiny I would have!

ReggaetonLente · 07/10/2021 11:19

I wouldn't have done this but some of the absolute best parents I know, who I admire hugely, have. If it feels right then go right ahead

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 07/10/2021 11:20

@Nanananani

I wouldn’t have been able to, I went out for dinner at a similar point and was literally desperate to get home after a couple of hours.

Assuming bottle fed could you get one of them to stay at yours and do the night shift instead?

I was thinking this - it’s lovely they want to help and support you and you should definitely take them up on that. But for me I wouldn’t have relaxed or slept well with a baby that young properly away from me. I think having the baby under my roof with someone else doing the night shift would have been perfect as I would know he was close and I would be woken up if really needed.

HairBobbles · 07/10/2021 11:21

I did this and everyone’s a winner tbh

Nap1983 · 07/10/2021 11:24

Defo do it… I left my DC at 4 weeks with my mum, she stayed a night almost ever week after, mum loved it and so did DC. I think if you don’t do it early it can become a big thing… it did for my Sis never left here at my mums till 4 yo

Minibea · 07/10/2021 11:31

I think it is irrelevant really what other people did as if you and your DH are happy with it and are comfortable then of course it it fine. It is also fine to back out on the day of you change your mind. It is so hard the first time around because everything is new. With my first we left her with my parents at 3 weeks old to go out for lunch for our wedding anniversary. Everyone was happy and comfortable. They had her overnight at about 5 months old. With my second I didn’t want him out of my sight for months and he’s almost 8m now and I haven’t left him overnight with anyone inc. DH yet. What I’m saying is that however you feel is fine and the sleep will do you so much good!

Chelyanne · 07/10/2021 11:58

You do it as early as you feel ready.

I've never been away from my newborns overnight, they'd be fine with my parents (wouldn't trust the in-laws, dh feels the same) but I couldn't cope being apart so soon. I've waited longer with each child before doing a night away, earliest was our eldest when she was almost 1. Completely different for dh, he works away so has been away from days to months as early as them being 2 weeks old.

ParkheadParadise · 07/10/2021 12:03

My sister had dd at 3 weeks. All of my siblings had dd from early age overnight/weekend. She also stayed with my in-laws one night a week and goes on holiday with them.
Now she's older she loves having sleepovers with family.
Enjoy your free time and sleep😃

Topjoe19 · 07/10/2021 15:05

Please go for it! I wish I could have done it. Your baby will be fine and you'll enjoy the break & the sleep. Have fun!

allsorts1 · 07/10/2021 19:32

Absolutely no reason not to and some people get night nannies for just this reason, this isn't any different to that (and maybe even better as it's your parents who know and love your baby!)

snowdaysalldays · 07/10/2021 19:41

go for it and sleep as much as you can! he will be
absolutely fine x

toolazytothinkofausername · 07/10/2021 19:49

In your position I would definitely do this! The rest will do you and your DH the world of good :)

Youdonthavetobegood · 07/10/2021 19:53

I did this about 8 weeks pp as I was depressed and exhausted. Felt terrible about leaving him, not because I missed him but because I absolutely didn't! At that age he was just feeding and sleeping and had no idea who I was, and my parents were delighted to have him. He had been in scbu for a while so maybe I was used to other people taking care of him sometimes? For me, it's got harder to leave him as he's got older and more aware. In the early days, they really are fine with anyone who loves them and is responsible. Don't beat yourself up if you are happy to do it, just go for it. My son is now 3, goes for regular sleepovers at grandparents and has a wonderfully close bond with them

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