Weekend away from baby at only 6 weeks?

[CWoW]

This is probably an outrageous question but I know hardly anything about babies so please be kind.

I just found out I’m about 6 weeks pregnant and I’m not sure what I think about it all, but I’m 33, just bought my first home with my partner of 12 years so I suppose it should* be the right time… I just wasn’t planning on this happening yet. I’m worried about impacts on my career, affordability and all sorts.

Anyway. I want to ask a completely stupid question which ovbs will have no impact on my decision, it’s just a wonder really… I have glasto tickets from 2020 and it seems the festival is going ahead for 2022. Seems like my due date would be early May. I don’t know if it’s a completely crazy/cruel/selfish idea to even think I could still go to Glastonbury for a couple of days when the baby is only 6 weeks, either they could stay with their grandma at grandmas house or grandma would stay at a hotel near by and we go back in the evenings. Would the baby be ok or would time away from Mum at that age traumatise them?

Thank you

Congratulations OP!! Your head is going to be full of questions and anxieties over the next few months, as your pregnancy develops, so I really wouldn’t worry about Glastonbury. Do you have to make a decision now? Having done Glastonbury, and given birth, I really wouldn’t combine the two, but so much is unknown. You won’t get a firm due date until your 12 week scan, and even then babies have a habit of being late (mine was 10 days late). And you don’t know what kind of birth you had. I had a very straight forward homebirth, but I wouldn’t have wanted to have been wondering around a muddy field in wellies a month later. But then I breastfeed, which is another thing to consider - 6 weeks is still establishing a supply (and prime cluster feeding territory), so leaving a baby during that period would be hard. I guess what I’m saying is there is so much to consider and I don’t think I would worry about any of it now. In theory, yes you can leave a baby, but it’ll be more a personal question of would you want to.

Babies are due anytime from 37 to 42 weeks. Your baby may only be 4 weeks old, in which case you will still be bleeding and maybe recovering from major surgery. If you are bf then you won’t be able to go away for that long. Add in your hormones which will be all over the place and very probably but not always telling you not to leave your baby alone at all then I no I suspect it won’t be possible. Would the grandparents really want to be looking after a tiny new born who only sleeps for 2 hours at a time?

I wouldn’t have wanted to be away from my baby at that age for longer than the gap between feeds and because I wanted them near me all the time. You don’t know whether you will feel that way and if you are breastfeeding you might find it difficult.

I think how you are in yourself might be the deciding factor as you may have a caesarean or a bad tear, and you could go overdue and be only four weeks on from the birth, you really may not feel able to camp or use festival toilets or take a long journey.

There is no way to answer this. I breastfed so we were still establishing feeding at this age so no. Also I had c sections so I was up and about not probably Glastonbury ready. I was also extremely tired and hormonal.

I think it's unlikely that leaving a baby that little is going to work.
Even taking it with you is pretty unlikely.

Honestly you'll be sore, emotional and exhausted. My youngest is 2 years and I still couldn't muster the enthusiasm for Glastonbury

It’s hard to imagine, but realistically I doubt you’ll want to be away from your baby at that age.

The baby might be ok but I would doubt very much that you would be up to it tbh. I was on short walks and trips to the shop about 4 weeks post-partum (which you could be, first ones are often late) having had a hard time, episiotomy stitches healing, had only just come off blood thinners and pain meds, bleeding, bladder not quite happy, establishing BF so leaking on occasion 😂 absolutely exhausted and with the moods to go with that and the hormone switch over. I don't think I was very good company tbh.

I'm due number two next week and I've written off October for anything other than people visiting us, medical appointments, popping to the shops and going for walks. I'll have to get up and about to playgroups and things in November because the toddler will be bored by then but I definitely won't be going far without the baby until after Christmas.

I really wouldn't. I didn't want to leave mine at six months really.

I absolutely could not have done this. I think you don't realise how much of a wrench leaving them is till they're here.

When DS1 was 6 weeks old I went on a hen night and I would have been okay if it was a weekend.
I had a emergency c section that came with enough complications for me to be in hospital for a week after.
So there no reason why you won't be able to go but it really does depend on how you feel emotionally and your physical recovery. Unfortunately you won't know until the time comes but I wouldn't completely write it off just now.
Congratulations

Them staying in a hotel seems reasonable to me. Babies are pretty portable at that age, so long as theyre held and fed it will be fine. Not forgetting the fact that many women from low income households are back at work before their babies are six weeks old. And whilst it isnt great its fine. Being left with someone else for a few hours as a one off will also be fine.

First babies are often late, have you considered that in timings? You could end up needing a csection and not physically able to lug a tent etc around muddy fields. I had a relatively straightforward birth and at 4 weeks I was still bleeding, leaking milk, had an infected episiotomy wound and torn nipples from establishing breastfeeding. Plus baby was still only sleeping no longer than a couple of hours at a time, not ideal for grandparents. If you're planning on breastfeeding, two days away from baby at this point would probably put an end to that.

Thanks everyone, that’s answered my question quite clearly! I already expect I may not have an easy birth as I’m very overweight so everything you’ve said about how I might feel physically in the weeks afterwards is particularly significant.

There's absolutely no way I would have felt like going anywhere, with a baby of six weeks. No just because I wouldn't have left my baby but because I felt completely exhausted. With my first especially, my entire life, well being, health, priorities, everything in fact, changed with the birth.

When you baby arrives @CWoW, you will see what I mean. Congratulations.

Thanks, that’s a good point about lots of women going back to work at 6 weeks.. especially in America! I suppose it all depends on how I feel at the time but it’s a lot of money to spend on tickets only to pull out at the last minute.

not a chance would I have left mine at that age, plus I was still bleeding which wasn't great.

Does your DH have a friend or family member that would be on stand by to buy the ticket and go with him if your not up for it?

@Justme10 I think Glasto have some ID system so tickets can’t be swapped.. I don’t know how vigorously they actually check but I had to upload a photo of myself when I registered. Otherwise yes I’m sure there’s load of people who’d like to go with him

You'll have to just wait and see how you feel, Physically and emotionally.
If you feel up to it then absolutely go.

I went to a gig, which meant almost two whole days away when DS was six weeks old.
I felt fine and DS was well looked after, Wasn't an issue.

Yes some American women do go back to work (I am on the east coast of the US but my employer gave me 4 months and DH took another 4 months) but they do it because they have to. It’s not easy, it’s not a choice and it’s not ideal. Something that seems ‘fun’ now may not seem like a fun thing to do in the post partum stage.

[quote CWoW]@Justme10 I think Glasto have some ID system so tickets can’t be swapped.. I don’t know how vigorously they actually check but I had to upload a photo of myself when I registered. Otherwise yes I’m sure there’s load of people who’d like to go with him[/quote]
Oh really? I've never been but I didn't think it would be so strict like that.

I was happy spending one night away from my baby a lot earlier than other women (he first stayed with gps for a night at one week old) but don't think I could do a whole weekend at that age. 12 weeks probably but not 6.

The Glasto site is enormous and there is a lot of walking between stages. I had an EMCS and would definitely not have been up to doing that 6 weeks after giving birth. Plus I was BF and don't know how I'd have found space to sit down and feed. There's no way I could have been away from DS for a long weekend at that point.

I’m pretty relaxed about overnights - DD1 stayed with her grandparents for a night at 4.5 months old while we out for an anniversary treat, and has done numerous times since - but six weeks will really be pushing it. DD2 is eight weeks and formula fed, but I’d still not want to leave her just yet.

Could you sell the tickets last minute online if you don’t decide to go?