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Was I overreacting?

11 replies

Chiloquin · 03/10/2021 23:12

My son who's 10, has recently been letting his standards slip when going to the toilet. I won't go in to too much detail but he hasn't been checking that he's left the toilet as he found it after use. The first few times I told him he needed to go back to the toilet to check what he's done. Today however, I felt it was time to have a more serious talk and explain that he absolutely needs to check the toilet after use because leaving it like that is unacceptable. Later on this evening he did it again. I don't think it's out of wanting to, based on what he's done I think he's just being very careless. However, my mother who's staying with us at the moment, saw what he did and told him off as I was also telling him off. When I told him what his punishment was, my mother jumped in and said "I don't even think that's enough. She then told him he needs counselling. Twice.
I didn't say anything in front of my son but I told my mother in a room away from my son that what she said was not okay. I explained that it was hurtful and wrong. Was I wrong?

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FortunesFave · 04/10/2021 00:07

Well...and I hope you're not a poo troll...it depends what he did.

If he smeared it around the toilet and left it then your Mother was right. If he just forgot to flush, it's an overreaction.

elenacampana · 04/10/2021 00:20

I think your mother should have left it to you to handle and any talk of counselling or further punishments should have been had with you away from him.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2021 00:44

Your mother should not have said what she did, obviously, but how bad was it? Sounds like it must have been quite a scene for her to react like that.

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Winniemarysarah · 04/10/2021 00:50

I’d have been grateful for the back up really to prove your point. My youngest is 4 and knows basic toilet hygiene. I’d be worried if at ten he started leaving piss puddles/poo smears and ignored repeated reminders to the point even visiting relatives are disgusted.

Chiloquin · 04/10/2021 01:53

@FortunesFave

Well...and I hope you're not a poo troll...it depends what he did.

If he smeared it around the toilet and left it then your Mother was right. If he just forgot to flush, it's an overreaction.

No. He didn't smear it. That would be intentional. He missed the toilet bowl after wiping. The tissue was on the floor.
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TheClaaaaaaaaw · 04/10/2021 02:06

He's consistently leaving dirty tissue on the floor next to the toilet? Unacceptable imo

GummyBearWhere · 04/10/2021 03:08

Yuk, that’s completely unacceptable and I’d have a go at him too. He’s 10, not three. Perfectly capable of not leaving a pissy mess for someone else to have to clean.

ManicPixie · 04/10/2021 06:57

Your mom may have overreacted but yes, your son shouldn’t be doing this by 10. I’m usually reluctant to suggest a punishment system but maybe it’d be necessary here if it keeps happening? Or just put a poster on the door reminding him?

Chiloquin · 04/10/2021 09:35

@GummyBearWhere

Yuk, that’s completely unacceptable and I’d have a go at him too. He’s 10, not three. Perfectly capable of not leaving a pissy mess for someone else to have to clean.
I did tell him off and had a very stern word with him because I agree that's it's unacceptable and I told him that if he cannot act in accordance with his age, the privileges he gets because of age will be stripped away. But I felt as though my mum telling him he needed counselling was over the top.
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girlmom21 · 04/10/2021 09:37

Your mom shouldn't be interfering in your parenting full stop.
If someone started telling my child off when I was dealing with the situation I'd be fuming.

TooMuchPaper · 04/10/2021 09:38

Your mother should not have got involved. Why was this discussion happening in her earshot though?

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