I have just been a cow to dd1 and feel really bad now.

[CloudAtlas]

I was making vege pasties for lunch, and she was entertaining herself in the kitchen, turning the tap on, emptying cupboards etc. When I started putting the filling in the pasties, she wanted to help, but in a hurry I didn't really take that on board, and took her fork attacks on the pastry at face value. I took the (plastic) fork off her abruptly without any explaination and threw it on the floor . I don't think she really noticed, she's only 2, other dc is 11 months so preparing meals can be a little hectic, but I feel so bad. She loves 'helping' me cook, and putting the filling in pasties could have been good fun for her, but I just went the short fuse route. I think I may be turning in to my mother. The thing I'm most upset about is my getting so stressed, if I'm like this now, what will I be like when dd2 is 2?!!! How do you cope when the task in hand is stressful enough, even without the addition of children?

Don't feel bad. I'm sure you are more upset about it than she is. And as to the future, in some ways we can improve our handling of stress: experience of earlier incidnets will help you to react better in future ones.

I know how you feel, I totally understand (and yes, I do feel like I'm turning into my mother and it really upsets me). I find it very stressing cooking with my children, as my "controlling" nature seems to surface a lot in such occasions and I really have to control myself. But it is hard. Don't beat yourself up. Make biscuits with her this afternoon to make up for it

OK. I can trump that. I have been a cow to all three of my DC's for the last 48 hours . Blame PMT and lack of sleep and totally unreasonable behaviour on part of at least one child.

It is hard. Don't be too upset about it especially if she didn't notice. What do you do about in future? I'm not sure as it's something I've not always coped well with, I think you need to seperate those times when you are cooking 'seriously' ie it has to be done quickly and those times when she is going to help you. Or perhaps give her one pasty to do and do the others yourself. My youngest always wants to 'help' and it makes every task so much harder but I've got in the habit of saying no most of time and then making something with him at the weekend when I've got more time and letting him get on with it and damn the consquences.

Now if you can tell me how to deal with 3 DCs in pre-christmas frenzy who are over-tired incl a 10yr old DS who is giving a damn good impression of being pre-menstrual I'd be forever in your debt.

Don't feel bad - honestly. I have been a right old bitch to my dd at times, she won't hold it against you (or even remember), you are only human!

I am very impatient at times and found it very hard to let dd share or help in any tasks. Bloody hell the mess she made in the kitchen when washing up/making cakes etc. But I kind of bit my tongue (so what if she turns the kitchen into a tip) and tried not to be snappy.

However, the flipside of this is, at the age of 11 she cooked dinner for tha family last night with no help, and just a bit of supervision re draining pasta etc. Bonus!

Thank you for replies. Had a sleep at the same time as dc so feeling a bit less fraught. Good point that it would help to separate the occasions when DD is helping me cook, and those where I need to just get on, and occupying her with something else.
kittylouise, that's something to aim for! Thank you.

I feel like I've been like this with dd1 (2.6) lately so its nice to hear I'm not the only one. I have to kkep reminding myself I'm the adult here

Iend to apologise to her soon after though and say sorry mummy was being tired and grumpy and I shouldn't take it out on her. I'm hoping she'll learn from my example when she throws ridiculous stroppy tantrums!