pretending not to understand local language- anyone done this?

[cory]

We've always had a laidback approach as to who speaks what language in our family. This has worked well for us.
I understand that some people stick strictly to the OPOL method and that this also works well.
However, I recently read an article where the parent of the minority language is recommended to pretend they can't understand the majority language at all. I was fascinated by this and really wondered how it works in practice. Particularly if you're the main carer of the child. Has anyone tried this and if so how does it work?
How do you manage to take your child to the doctor/playschool/shops/dentist/hospital, if you have to pretend you can't speak the language?
How do you help them to make friends when they're little?
How do you organise playdates without speaking to the other mums?
If there is noone speaking your own language locally, do you make do without friends to maintain the deception? (sounds a big sacrifice to demand of a poor downtrodden mum)
How do you train them in citizenship (looking after a sick neighbour, helping out at the school fete) if you have to pretend you can't communicate with the local community?
If you have a job, don't the kids get suspicious? (my dd was very savvy even at the age of 2 and would have seen through this immediately)
How did your kids react the day they found you'd been having them on? Did they treat it as a joke or where they taken aback?
I didn't think the article explained it very clearly, so would be interested to hear from anyone who's actually tried this.

I suppose there is some logic to it but it would be ever so difficult to carry out, like you've already mentioned. Especially if the majority language is the one used for communication between the parents.
Saying that though, my side of the family kind-of do this with DS. They will always speak to him in his minority language, whatever he speaks to them. Hmm, but that isn't 'not understanding' the majority language, just not speaking it with him.

And the deception/being found out aspect that you mentioned - well, that would bother me a lot, actually.

Interesting though.

I don't think it's really feasible. What are you going to do when you have plumbers in and the dc are home? Or in 1001 other situations? How are you going to react when someone you know and chat with in the majority language comes up to you in the street when you're with the dc? Not answer them?

However I think you could pretend not to speak the language very well

Don't agree with pretending - dishonesty doesn't seem a good start, does it? Besides any child worth his/her salt would figure it out in no time. On the positive side, if you can speak both languages equally well and not hide the fact surely that's a good role model for the kids. That's my position and I'm sticking to it! We'll see if it works in 10-20 years' time.

I have done this with my dd when she was younger, but in a light-hearted way IYSWIM!

When she spoke to me in English, I would say (in French) "I can't understand English, you will have to say that again in French". That was when she started nursery and so started speaking in English a lot more. Of course she knew that I really could understand and speak English! I found that it was really useful for a while to get her to stick with French.

We do the same as mammya but with 3rd laguage. DS is 3.8 and understands it's a game and playfully obliges (when the mood is right but most times replies in english anyway).

TBH, I don't think it can work. I don't like the "dumbing down" approach. Why would anyone want to instill dishonesty in a relationship with a child?
Kids are much more clever than we give them credit for. That's particularly true when it comes to acquiring another language.

IMO, best approach is to focus hard on second laguage after they start nursery (assuming the nursery is english speaking only).

I go for the same tactic as Princess and professionally (am a trilingual speech and language therapist) know it to be the soundest approach.

I also speak the same minoity language as her!

Thus, don't force the child to speak/not speak anything. Merely carry on responding in your target language with no fuss or comment.If you stick with this approach they will come.

I like the idea of doing it as a joke, sounds the sort of thing children might quite enjoy. It was the deadly seriousness of the article that got to me, like bilingual was the most important thing you did in life. Not that I'm not proud of my bilingual kids, but it wasn't the only thing, or even the central thing I wanted to teach them.

I do it when approached in the street by people doing surveys or asking for money But the children always blow my cover by saying loudly (in French) as we walk off "why did you say that? that's a LIE!"

Seriously, I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't work for the reasons you list. I have been known to go temporarily deaf though, when one of them is going on and on at me in French. It works, but only for a few minutes