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Parenting

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Original poster

Anyone's 2 year old not at nursery or childcare?

18 replies

Jsgdud · 01/10/2021 21:16

I feel like I'm in the very small minority amongst my friends with toddler, as my just turned 2 year old doesn't attend formal childcare. Nearly all of them attend nursery from 1-3 days a week and I often get asked if/when I will be sending mine like it's just a given.

I don't need to send my son because my parents look after him the day I work and I stay at home with him the rest of the week. Obviously the only reason the others go is due to work commitments but I still feel like I'm asked a lot when I'll send him and how good it'll be for him.

He is very good speech wise and communication but the last month has become clingier than usual when around other adults. I'm thinking of waiting until we get the free hours in a year and a bit but starting to think I'm doing him a disservice by not?! (I know this isn't true deep down).

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ThirdElephant · 01/10/2021 21:23

Mine started nursery at 2 and a half for two days a week and it did her no good whatsoever. She never wanted to go and it wasn't a good fit for her. We stopped her going and started sending her to a playgroup (five mornings a week) when she turned three and it's been much better this time around. I think she wasn't ready before.

You know your child- do what you think is best for them. Toddler groups with their carer are just as effective for socialising them as day nurseries and childminders are. As long as he gets chance to interact with other children (ideally the same group of kids repeatedly), then he'll be fine.

Original poster

Jsgdud · 01/10/2021 21:28

@ThirdElephant thanks. We currently attend two structured classes a week (same children etc.) and then I take him to a soft play type group on another day each week. Then on other days we go to the park/meet up with friends/family etc.
Interesting about the play group - I'm still unsure about what childcare she could attend from 3 - I'll look into playgroups as another option.

OP posts:

Winter2019 · 01/10/2021 21:33

I don't live in UK. Sent mine at 4 years of age, 5 days a week. Settled in really well. Yea, don't like when people assume it's something you will do..I would just answer with something like- we are good as we are.

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Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Behaviour & development Childcare & nursery Families

Winter2019 · 01/10/2021 21:36

Oh just read that your LO attends playgroup etc. So is around other children. That's practically like nursery no?! 😁 my one was rarely in contact with other babies and when was about 2,3 only had 1 little friend but that's not done her any bad. She's so communicable, just depends on their personality I think

MadameOvary81 · 01/10/2021 21:36

My almost three year old isn't in nursery. We put him in about 6 months before covid erupted and he was constantly sick. They sent him home pretty much every time he was in, so I pulled him out. He also had a fall and came home with a black eye once, so I was never fully happy leaving him. I wanted to wait until he was two to try again, but in March 2020 I caught covid and I'm still not full recovered (airway damage) and I can't risk getting even as much as a cold.

So, long story short, I don't see him going again anytime soon. I'm not too bothered about it, either. He gets everything he needs at home except socialising with other kids. That would be my only slight issue - but it's minor.

I'll reevaluate next summer, but I don't think we are doing the kids a disservice, as long as they are happy and getting lots of varied stimulation.

ThirdElephant · 01/10/2021 21:37

We do love the playgroup- it's term time only and only does mornings, which actually I quite like for three year olds. We did look at sending her to a different nursery but the one we looked at wanted her in 9-3 and was talking about 'increasing her hours as she gets used to it to prepare her for schoo'l- by having her in from 7 until 5! I was very at the idea of 'preparing her for school' by having her do a day that's four hours longer than a school one.

There are also nurseries attached to schools that will do a similar attendance pattern from the term after your son turns three, so that might be another place to look.

worriedatthemoment · 01/10/2021 21:40

It was about 15 years ago but mine never went until just before 3 so we only had a term of fees
I attended toddler groups and we mixed with friends kids etc as well so they were well socialised
I worked evening so was home and tbf we couldn't of afforded to send them anyway but I liked our set up and the tome i got to spend with them

thatsnotmyzoo · 01/10/2021 21:41

In the same boat OP although we only do one class a week but plenty of other social activities. I do wonder if I’m doing him a disservice too as lockdowns have meant he’s now quite wary of other children.

I did send him for a short time but we were all constantly ill plus with covid it wasn’t worth the risk. I also didn’t get much feedback from the nursery as you weren’t allowed in so even then I didn’t get the sense of how he was doing.

sunflower198 · 01/10/2021 21:41

I'm in v similar situation.
We have childcare via grandparents and any other day me or my OH are with my DS.
He goes to playgroup once a week and then we try and do activities with him.
I don't plan on putting him into a formal childcare setting until we get the free hours, I don't think he will be at a disadvantage by this.

playinginashadow · 01/10/2021 21:45

Neither of mine went at 2, I'm a sahm.

Both went at age 3 for their funded 15 hours a week at a preschool until they went to school just so they'd get used to mixing with other children and school type routines before school. They're both perfectly fine (although one is still at preschool, she loves it though!). We had three children in our seats reception class who'd been at home full time too, they were fine the school settled them nicely,

Children, especially babies, do not need to be in childcare. It's fine for them to be but it's also fine for them not to be!

Ozanj · 01/10/2021 21:45

I work in a nursery and before covid we used to get a steady stream of kids starting at 3, but we don’t any more. It seems more and more kids are starting at 2. Some of it is because of better support for lower income kids but it also is because Lockdown has ruined the usual social avenues for kids who don’t go to childcare.

If the only interaction with people your DC has is with your DP and you have no access to toddler classes / stay and plays etc then I think you should consider sending him in. If you do it then bear in mind anything else than 3 half days a week is a waste of money because kids will ‘forget’ the routine and you will be settling them afresh every week.

orangeautumnleaves · 01/10/2021 21:45

Both of mine started a pre school nursery age 3, initially 2 mornings a week and gradually increased to 3, then the year before school for 1 day and 2 mornings. Myself and my DH juggle work and home between us so never needed childcare.

We are a minority as most people do need a certain amount if childcare. But I have to admit I was getting sick of people telling me that only kids that go to nursery from baby days are very social, talk early and more confident!! My dd managed all of that without!! As if you cannot socialise or talk to your own child without the help of a nursery!

Metallicalover · 01/10/2021 21:55

No my little one turned 2 in the summer and doesn't go to nursery/childcare.
I work 2 days per week including nights and weekends so she's cared for by my husband and either of our parents on those 2 days. We go to playgroups and parks and meet up with others with small children and that's enough.
Toddlers go through clingy stages, that's normal.
I'll be sending my child to nursery when she's 3 and for 15 hours.
I know people say they need to go to socialise, build their immune systems but I don't agree that's right for us.
Do what you feel is right for you and your child 😊

bluewanda · 01/10/2021 22:01

Reading the recent thread on MN about people’s negative experiences of nursery (both parents and people who have worked at them) was very illuminating. I would far rather have my DC at home from 0-3 if I could.

TumtumTree · 01/10/2021 22:04

I was a SAHM when mine were little and they started preschool the term before turning three. Like you I took them to lots of other activities, and it was fine.

jennyt82 · 01/10/2021 22:06

My 4th child has just turned 2 and other than the 2 days a week when I work and he goes to my parents house he's at home with me. He'll go to school nursery at 3. I did exactly the same with his 3 older siblings and it didn't do them any harm!

Jujujuly · 01/10/2021 22:12

My eldest turned 3 in may and has just started nursery for the first time. I do feel it might have been beneficial for her earlier, possibly say 6 months ago at almost 3 (we got the funding term after her third birthday so waited till then), but not at 2. She is advanced in pretty much all areas apart from social - she prefers talking to adults over children - so nursery will be a great learning curve for her and preparation for school, but a year before school is enough IMO.

Original poster

Jsgdud · 01/10/2021 22:13

Thanks all. I've always been confident in our decision to not send him to formal childcare yet (mainly as no need and I know he will spend the next however many years in formal education in the not too distant future and I won't get this time back).
@bluewanda which thread is that please?

OP posts:

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