AIBU to not want to leave my 5 yo DD at an after school club?

[Poorbilliejean]

My daughter has expressed an interest in starting gymnastics. After being on a waiting list for a while she started today after school. She’s just turned 5. At the class the instructor comes to the door and takes all the children inside. I feel a little uneasy about it. I’ve never been inside the building. Don’t know how many teachers there are/ what they are doing/ they could be taking photos of them or anything. I don’t even know where I’d check if they have correct CRB checks etc. Am I being unreasonable to question this? My daughter came out very excited and loved it.

Absolutely no chance I’d be comfortable with that. Maybe if I’d had chance to observe a class/make sure DD was ok, had info on the teachers etc. Maybe. But no, mine wouldn’t be going back.

I think it's normal to be worried when leaving your child for the first time. Most parents would worry their child might be upset, misbehave, be unsure of asking for help etc. However, thoughts about taking photos is unusual, and in my opinion goes beyond normal worries.

The staff will be DBS checked and many will also have had first aid and safeguarding training. Please don't stop sending her to an activity she really enjoys because of your worries.

Re safeguarding, you need to check the club is affiliated with the National Governing Body and that safeguarding information such as name and contact details of the Club Welfare Officer and links to safeguarding policies are displayed clearly on any website.

My 4 year old goes to gymnastics on her own (just started school). I have zero concerns. It’s a well loved gymnastics club locally. Their website has loadsa info on it, including saying all instructors are DBS checked. I’ve never seen proof of this but I have no reason to think they’d lie.. I guess you could ask for proof if you were worried?!

Why not ask them for more info? I’m sure they’d be happy to help. We were told class ratios of adults/children - it’s also on their website along with loadsa photos.. do you have anything similar?

It is weird leaving your kids.. mine does after school club attached to the school. One of the staff picks her up from class & walks her to the building they use. I’ve never met these people, DH collects her & says they are very nice!

I did clubs from 4/5 yo without my parents' supervision. Dance, language class, music, gym. They were organised by the school or the sports / music academy, none run by the normal school teachers.

Totally normal if the gymnastics club is affiliated, has a safeguarding department, and this is how they run the classes. Not normal if this is just some random parent taking the children into a rented community hall or whatever.

Did you not sign any forms about this when you registered your daughter?

Yes it’s a reputable official place/ club, I’ve had a check on the website and it’s seems to have policies shown on there and is affiliated to a governing body (there’s a stamp/ logo on the website)
I don’t ideally want to ask them directly for proof of checks on staff members. There are photos and a little description of each member of staff.
It does seem to be the norm for dance and gymnastics clubs and a huge part of me feels like I’m just being paranoid but also have a niggly feeling that this isn’t something i am comfortable with and usually I listen to my gut instincts.

This session is a free taster session, the paperwork is to be completed before her first proper session.

YABU

The school will have checked the DBS status of the instructor. There will be more than one adult I'm the room.

What is it about the instructor you didn't like?

Plus, parents being in the room for activities is a real PITA they disturb the session, the kids act up etc.

Letting parents in to drop off can be disruptive. The children may fuss, the parents might try to hang around, or try to grab the instructors for a 'quick' chat. Far better to get straight in an straight on. Perhaps you could them if you could have a little tour at some point?

I think it's since COVID. My DD is 3 and at her playgroup it's a drop at the door situation. It was the same at her nursery.

The staff members will be DBS- checked. It's also very likely that more than one staff member will be present during the class.

It's good to trust your instincts, but please also remember that it's entirely possible that your gut is telling you something isn't right purely because it's a situation you've not been in before.

It is very usual for these kind of clubs to work like this. Especially gymnastics clubs in my experience.
I think all the clubs my girls attended at that age would allow a parent in for 1 try out session but not after that.
It certainly true that generally the session will be more effective and successful if the staff are allowed to get on with it.
This club would not be happening if the staff did not have the relevant training and checks.
If she has come out happy then I’d take that as a success.

Thanks for all your input, I do feel a bit more reassured. Just to clarify, it hasn’t been arranged by the school. It’s just held after school (sorry if that was misleading) so it’s just a local class that is after school time. Nothing i disliked at all about the instructor, he seemed pleasant. I just felt a bit like I was handing over my daughter to someone who i had never met before and really had no idea who he was (or any of the instructors were).

Letting go a bit is all part of parenting at this age. If they’re DBS checked that’s great but also to ease your mind you could teach your child about inappropriate behaviour from adults and when to tell you. The NSPCC “pantosaurus” resources are good. Anything else like the teachers are boring or a bit mean then I expect she’d tell you and not want to go!