Daughters are bullying each other at school.

[Bennetgirl]

What the heck do I do?

My year 9 dds friends are stealing my year 7's tie, throwing food at her and and generally upsetting her. Year 9 dd seems to be egging it on and encouraging her friends to be mean.

Year 7 dd can be annoying and hasn't been innocent in this. She'll keep annoying them at lunch and winding them up.

Any worries I had about secondary school I never thought I'd have to worry about them bullying each other 😩

They're typical girls at home. Get on one minute and argue the next but less arguing then getting on.

What on earth do I do? I've taken phones away and have removed their favourite apps. Should I contact the school? I could move one but that means driving one and I'm having a c section in 5 weeks.

This is just the most ridiculous situation and I'm utterly ashamed of them both.

Work with the school. A group of year 9s stealing a year 7's tie needs to be dealt with.
Ask the school if there are different areas they can spend their lunch (with their friend groups, so not punative) so they can be separated. Then if it happens again, someone would have been seeking the other out and its easier to determine who's to blame.
It also means that your older one gets space from her younger sister who's clearly causing her problems socially. It doesn't excuse her behaviour, but she must be mortified and frustrated with the little one. Angry at her friends and really stuck for ways of handling this which aren't socially detrimental or mean or will cause problems at home.

School should be treating it as bullying rather than sibling rivalry and the school should be dealing with it. Contact the headteacher and insist that your Year 9 daughter and her friends are punished accordingly.

Thank you both. I'll contact the school now.

I'm so upset with both of them but mainly my older dd. She should know better.

You mention you’re having another baby - could they be playing up because they’re worried about losing your attention?

I did think that but they've got a 2 year old brother so they know what's coming and can't wait x

Just because they've got a 2 yo brother and can't wait doesn't mean that it's got nothing to do with the behaviour...

I had to split my DDs into different schools. They were like bloody Japanese fighting fish and it was the only answer.

@AmandaHoldensLips That’s interesting. They’ve been best friends all evening. It’s so frustrating.

I’ve emailed the school so will see what they suggest. There are other schools in the area so it is a possibility to change one of them.