11 year old not listening

[Juststopamoment]

I’m a single parent with 2 children and I’m finding my 11 year old will argue with me about everything. I realise that it’s his age but how do I get him to pick up after himself without shouting at him? Tonight he left his pe kit on the wet bathroom floor even though he will need it later in the week and I told him to pick it up before I went down then he left his wet towel on top of his brother’s pyjamas. This morning we had to to leave for school and I gave him a 5 minute warning to switch off his laptop and he didn’t and then argued with me trying to shut me down saying I was giving him a headache. I’ve got a brother and dad who both did nothing at all and I’m determined that my boys won’t be like this. Any tips? I’ve tried the ‘we are a team’ talk and it’s not working.

PE Kit, what will happen if he doesn't have it later in the week? Will he be annoyed to miss sports/get a detention? If so, I'd call that natural consequences.

If he will be glad to miss sports then you'll just have to think of something else as a consequence.

Any reason he is on his laptop in the morning? Is it in a shared space? I would give the five minute warning, and if he's not off it I would just push the thing shut and say 'hope you saved your work buddy!'.

This will work even better if only you have the password to the computer and it logs you out when you shut the lid :)

Thank you. He has his laptop open because I’m running around like a blue arsed fly making breakfast, clearing up because we now have a kitten and can’t leave stuff out, making packed lunches, and then getting showered and dressed myself so there is a lot of waiting around for them. I might just leave his stuff there! I’m going to try it!

Do things like packed lunches the night before.

Remove his laptop after a set hour the night before, and don't give it to him until after school or until x,y,z is done.

He's more than capable of making his own breakfast as well.

@Juststopamoment

Thank you. He has his laptop open because I’m running around like a blue arsed fly making breakfast, clearing up because we now have a kitten and can’t leave stuff out, making packed lunches, and then getting showered and dressed myself so there is a lot of waiting around for them. I might just leave his stuff there! I’m going to try it!

Make sure to chuck it in his bedroom door though, let him live with his smelly wet kit 😝