hello this is my first mums net Post and im very nervous, this is a long one and may cause triggers. I dont want to get in trouble or upset anyone im just a mum looking for genuine help as im literally a woman on the edge. So basically I'll start my introducing myself as if it was say... 2017 as this is where it all spiralled out of control. I was a mother to my then 5 year old life was good I had three jobs , had a gorgeous house wasn't always show home standard but it was amazing and so was my our life. My first born was like my best friend we still are but back then was very close.went everywhere together ect ect. I got in a relationship had a baby in 2018. The babys always been hardwork and takes up a lot of time an attention which obviously affected our time together, she went from having a full mum to herself down to half if not quarter. I do feel sorry for her that must be hard as a kid but there's people much worse of and she knows I love her. But still must be hard. If it wasn't hard enough having a c section with the youngest less than a year later an old illness which ive always suffered with came back and i had a heart op. The children's dad is not in the picture and wasnt since I got pregnant with youngest in 2018. I was in hospital on my own with 2 children to proud to ring family and get them to get the children so I waited until 6 am and rang my mother and she said why didn't u ring straight away and came got them. A week i stayed in. Im not looking for sympathy or anything just painting a picture i suppose. A few weeks before this I met someone and its been this way ever since. He didn't meet the children until 7 months in. It took my daughter a few months to take a liking but now there little mates. Anyway we moved cities about 8 months later and been here ever since. But, this is where the Real problems start. I dont want to go into to much but I got prescribed two control substances and ive been dependant ever since. I started 6 months later buying online stupid I know. My children have never been without and I wil completely ignore any negative comments smile I am asking for help and im feeling really fragile. I told my partner family ect about the problem and we have come up with a plan which is going to take 6 months ( in total) to be free of any medication. At the meantime im struggling massively with my life. Im obviously physically and mentally struggling due to coming of medication, struggling with the kids. Their routine has deteriorated. My 3 year old just copy's older sibling who 70 percent of the time is being hardwork. Its a running joke i can't cope. My house isn't nice anymore I cant keep it tidy for moping around feeling like shit and Depressed. 3 year old screams 80 percent of the time no exaggeration. Moans at anything. Is still in my bed so my poor partner can't stay in it. My eldest attendance is slacking im so alone an scared I just want rid of medication and want the old me back. I literally hate my life. So much. Ive always worked and have been out of work a year. Im so sad.i want the old ne so much my poor children have a very poor version of me at the moment. I feel like a failure. I've gone up 3 dress sizes i cant do this anymore. The neighbours must think its a mad house with my eldest kicking off refusing to do as asked.. the baby always moaning. This is a very long post and im posting in the hope someone can relate. I need advice where do I start. Im literally begging for some life changing advice. I do breathing exercises, I listen to motivational videos is the physically and mental side of thins I cant cope along side coming of medication ive been on a while. Thankss if you read all this I appreciate any help or advice. Remember I wont respond to negativity. Thank you
Subject:
Struggling with children and dependencey
Message:
hello this is my first mums net Post and im very nervous, this is a long one and may cause triggers. I dont want to get in trouble or upset anyone im just a mum looking for genuine help as im literally a woman on the edge. So basically I'll start my introducing myself as if it was say... 2017 as this is where it all spiralled out of control. I was a mother to my then 5 year old life was good I had three jobs , had a gorgeous house wasn't always show home standard but it was amazing and so was my our life. My first born was like my best friend we still are but back then was very close.went everywhere together ect ect. I got in a relationship had a baby in 2018. The babys always been hardwork and takes up a lot of time an attention which obviously affected our time together, she went from having a full mum to herself down to half if not quarter. I do feel sorry for her that must be hard as a kid but there's people much worse of and she knows I love her. But still must be hard. If it wasn't hard enough having a c section with the youngest less than a year later an old illness which ive always suffered with came back and i had a heart op. The children's dad is not in the picture and wasnt since I got pregnant with youngest in 2018. I was in hospital on my own with 2 children to proud to ring family and get them to get the children so I waited until 6 am and rang my mother and she said why didn't u ring straight away and came got them. A week i stayed in. Im not looking for sympathy or anything just painting a picture i suppose. A few weeks before this I met someone and its been this way ever since. He didn't meet the children until 7 months in. It took my daughter a few months to take a liking but now there little mates. Anyway we moved cities about 8 months later and been here ever since. But, this is where the Real problems start. I dont want to go into to much but I got prescribed two control substances and ive been dependant ever since. I started 6 months later buying online stupid I know. My children have never been without and I wil completely ignore any negative comments :) I am asking for help and im feeling really fragile. I told my partner family ect about the problem and we have come up with a plan which is going to take 6 months ( in total) to be free of any medication. At the meantime im struggling massively with my life. Im obviously physically and mentally struggling due to coming of medication, struggling with the kids. Their routine has deteriorated. My 3 year old just copy's older sibling who 70 percent of the time is being hardwork. Its a running joke i can't cope. My house isn't nice anymore I cant keep it tidy for moping around feeling like shit and Depressed. 3 year old screams 80 percent of the time no exaggeration. Moans at anything. Is still in my bed so my poor partner can't stay in it. My eldest attendance is slacking im so alone an scared I just want rid of medication and want the old me back. I literally hate my life. So much. Ive always worked and have been out of work a year. Im so sad.i want the old ne so much my poor children have a very poor version of me at the moment. I feel like a failure. I've gone up 3 dress sizes i cant do this anymore. The neighbours must think its a mad house with my eldest kicking off refusing to do as asked.. the baby always moaning. This is a very long post and im posting in the hope someone can relate. I need advice where do I start. Im literally begging for some life changing advice. I do breathing exercises, I listen to motivational videos is the physically and mental side of thins I cant cope along side coming of medication ive been on a while. Thankss if you read all this I appreciate any help or advice. Remember I wont respond to negativity.
Thank you 💗