If you had kids in 80s/90s and have GC now...

[HallieP]

are you as outraged by these things as both my parents and my in-laws seem to be? 🤣

1. The fact my baby doesn’t wear shoes (9.5m old)
2. That my baby only drinks milk and water and doesn’t get juice
3. That isn’t allowed a “wee packet of buttons or quavers” as a treat
4. That my 9.5m old only has 4 teeth

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lighthearted post obviously - not intended as a bashing thread!

I literally get these things mentioned to me multiple times a week by both sides of the family. Is it really that unusual?! 🙈 Apparently he’s a “poor wee soul” for not wearing shoes, I’m “a bit rotten” for not allowing him to have diluting juice, choc buttons or quavers, and obviously the reason he doesn’t have more teeth yet is because I don’t give him Rusks - which he NEEDS to cut his teeth through 🤣 Were these all ‘must-do’ things of the 80s/90s?! 🤣

Haha, thanks everyone! They definitely don’t say things in a malicious way - they’re just baffled by all the things that have changed since they raised us 😊 We all have a laugh about it!
They’ve happily accepted the safer sleep guidelines and car seat safety etc 😊 but these little gripes over shoes and food just seem to be something they can’t let go 🤣

I’m 59 and became a nana 15 years ago. The anti natal classes that my daughter in law went to ran a 1 evening, “grand parents“ session where they told us the new ways of doing things and why they recommended certain things now as opposed to the way it was recommended when we were parents. I thought it was a brilliant thing to do all 4 grandparents for my grand child turned up and the session was completely full. I wouldn’t have told my son / daughter in law they were doing something wrong anyway but some people would and this session probably saved rows in some homes.

@Ahwig

I’m 59 and became a nana 15 years ago. The anti natal classes that my daughter in law went to ran a 1 evening, “grand parents“ session where they told us the new ways of doing things and why they recommended certain things now as opposed to the way it was recommended when we were parents. I thought it was a brilliant thing to do all 4 grandparents for my grand child turned up and the session was completely full. I wouldn’t have told my son / daughter in law they were doing something wrong anyway but some people would and this session probably saved rows in some homes.

@Ahwig That actually sounds like such a lovely session! Unfortunately there were no classes running during my pregnancy due to covid but I know my parents and in-laws would have loved to attend something like that if it had been possible 😊

Completely agree about it saving rows in some places!

I had my 2 sons in the 80s, and my 2 granddaughters are 10 and 7yrs.

A baby of 9 months old doesn't need shoes! Shoes are only needed when the child starts walking. Milk and/or water is fine. Babies certainly don't need crisps and such. So your baby has "only" got 4 teeth. So what? All babies develop differently. My sons had things like (ripe) pear, banana, rusks, crackers, to hold and eat when they were 9 months. I remember my Mother-in-law saying she didn't agree with it.

Your baby, your way of bringing him up.

Tell your

What about 9.5m and still in nappies?
Still bothering to sterilise at 9 months?

Pah. Not in my day

My MIL couldn't believe i didn't buy my baby an advent calendar when she was 10 months old. Mean mother, i am

I was born in the 80s and none of my parents/step parents sound like yours. If they disagreed with my parenting they've never said so.
Mind you I don't think we wore shoes until we were walking and didn't have loads of sugary snacks either. I think they find the whole "don't wean until 6 months" a bit odd. But then again I can see how they could see the change in advice as them being told they were wrong so get defensive.
I know they also find the erf carseats odd as all hell, but as they weren't a thing when mine were small it was never an issue.

When my nephew was about 4 months old, my sister's friend's mum asked "is he on buttons yet?"

I was born in the 90s and my DM things lots of things around infant feeding is odd these days, especially not starting weaning before 6 months. She also gets very frustrated by baby weaning.

*Baby led weaning

She’d be very stressed that my 10mo has no teeth at all!

It's up to you what you do we have more knowledge now.

What does concern me is cosleeping that's so exhausting when they're in with you all night feeding on and off when they're older.

The dentist told me back in the eighties about sweets make them chocolate Day one day of the week and that's it. They were much older before they had juice. Tea and coffee they were teenagers and discovered it with friends at college

@Loveinthetimeofcoronavirus

She’d be very stressed that my 10mo has no teeth at all!

@Loveinthetimeofcoronavirus Make the most of it while it lasts - I have a biter 🤣 he’s like a wee hamster gnawing on everting in sight - furniture, fingers...noses 😳🤣

So I was born in the 90's and my mother is now a grandmother and my grandmother a great grandmother. We're all very close.

Imagine 3 women of 3 different generations looking after one baby...it was "interesting" 😂

Great grandmother - give him some rose water (wtf is that,?!)

Grandmother - no you can't it's too sweet, just some juice.

Me - no, no juice too sugary water or milk.

Great grandmother - ah he's 3 months give him a rusk.

Grandmother - not a dry one soak it in some cows milk and spoon feed it to him.

Me - we don't wean till 6 months now.

Anyway in the end DS has had a mixture of 1969's care 1990's care and 2010 care. He has survived so far. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@PinkPlantCase

I was born in the 90s and my DM things lots of things around infant feeding is odd these days, especially not starting weaning before 6 months. She also gets very frustrated by baby weaning.

@PinkPlantCase My parents were NOT at all convinced when I told them we were doing BLW from 6months either! Thankfully DS took to it like a duck to water and loves his food I think once they had seen him eat pretty confidently they were much more accepting of the idea and now really love being around for meal times with him!

@JosephineDeBeauharnais

I’m DGM to two now and I have nothing to say about how my DS and DDiL raise their DC. They seem to be making a very good job of it, bit too much tv would be the only thing I would quibble over. Their house is untidy but they spend a lot of time talking to and playing / interacting with the DC, which is obviously more important than housekeeping. When I’m looking after them I ask for and follow instructions about food, naps and so on. It wouldn’t occur to me to impose my own choices. Sometimes I do things with them that haven’t occurred to DS and DDiL and usually they’re pleased about that.

You sound like a lovely DGM

@ShinyThingsDistractMe

So I was born in the 90's and my mother is now a grandmother and my grandmother a great grandmother. We're all very close.

Imagine 3 women of 3 different generations looking after one baby...it was "interesting" 😂

Great grandmother - give him some rose water (wtf is that,?!)

Grandmother - no you can't it's too sweet, just some juice.

Me - no, no juice too sugary water or milk.

Great grandmother - ah he's 3 months give him a rusk.

Grandmother - not a dry one soak it in some cows milk and spoon feed it to him.

Me - we don't wean till 6 months now.

Anyway in the end DS has had a mixture of 1969's care 1990's care and 2010 care. He has survived so far. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ShinyThingsDistractMe It’s amazing how much things change isn’t it? 😂 Lovely for your DS to have input from more generations too 😊

An alternative view is that I'm that mil age and never did those things. No quavers or sweets, no juice etc. I did know people who did, though, and always wondered what the hell!

He adores his nannies but it's hilarious. So his great grandmother dishes out kit kats from the cupboard on a conveyor belt and then my mother his grandmother I look at her and think "what did you do to my mother," she was always rather strict with us growing up but since becoming a grandmother she also likes to sneak him the odd bag of haribo!

Then we have the multi generational conversations about stuff like Strictly for example my grandmother (born 1943) exclaimed "2 men dancing together?! Really" my mother (born 1969) said "I think it's the done thing now" and I said "stop talking about its a non issue" and DS just says "mummy is right, boys can dance" 😂

You get to see in real time generational attitudes haha and how they have changed over time.

@Caspianberg
This really made me laugh. My mum and Grandma are constantly badgering me to give my 10 month old a cup of tea and can't understand why I look horrified at the thought of giving a baby. But they are obsessed with it! Also when my Mum looks after my DS she constantly gets mixed up between his clothes and PJS. She took him a nice day out meeting lots of family and when she showed my the pictures afterwards he was in his toy story pyjamas all day 🤣🤣🤣

My dad used to mention Rusks all the time because they gave them to me as a kid

I didn’t give mine juice either but at 19 months the family have started giving it to him when we visit and I don’t have the heart to say no

Family found the baby led aspect of weaning very “different” but now tell me they like the idea

@ShinyThingsDistractMe are they Greek? My greek relatives gave my toddler rose water the other week

My children were born in the 90s (no GC yet). None of them had rusks & I don't think I knew any that did. They just weren't a "thing". The only thing my mother used to comment on was how often I fed them (in her day it was a strict 4 hour timetable). I sometimes used to lie about when I had last fed my first one. I think mum got used to it after that, I don't remember so many comments with DC2 & 3.

Did she mean rose hip syrup? As a child of the 60s I was given that - they used to dish it out free at baby clinics. My first teeth were terrible

Apparently I had responded to MILs ‘we’ll we never did x and you all survived’ with ‘yes, but the people who didn’t survive aren’t here to tell us about it’ so often that once FIL got in before me, which did amuse me. (Mostly related to car and sleep safety, I don’t think anyone died from wearing/not wearing shoes)

I am a grandmother and great grandmother and have never interfered with the way they were brought up but have been tempted loads of times.
My own children were babies and toddlers in the early 70s and had to listen, but not obey, the advice handed out to me from my DM and MIL
My mother decreed all babes have to be potty trained by 18 months or it was a disgrace.My MIL thought all babies should be starting to take solid food from 3 months, and she said I was cruel to not shove a dummy into their mouths between every feed and not be giving chocolate and sweets every time they cried.
I was a baby in the mid 40s and my husband was born in the early 30s