How to do it all? (Baby, work, house work, self development)

[Pinecone88]

Hi all,

Looking for some experience, stories from people who have been in a similar situation perhaps.

I have a 10month old baby, I am currently looking for a part time job.
I also am trying to get my own business of the ground. And I am also thinking about going back to college next year part time.
I fell like I already don't have enough time for basics - housework, dinner etc. I am so tired in the evenings and my brain just does not work so well, feels so slow.
My husband does his part, but he is in a similar situation, he is also trying to start his own business, so we are both busy and tired 😆

If you have studied, started your own business or similar while having a baby can you please share your experience? When did you do it, how did you find time and motivation?
I just need some positive stories to keep me going 😅

Why not just pace yourself?
No need to set up a new business AND go back to college AND seek part time work.
Your body is telling you something.
Slow down. Be gentle with yourself (and baby who presumably needs some of your time)

@Nettleskeins I only do self development when baby is asleep, so he gets plenty of my attention.
I need a job, because I need money. I am looking for a part time job, so I can spend more time with him and he would not be in the nursery all week.
I need my own business because I want to work for myself and do what I love.
College is something I am thinking about as it would help me with my career ambitions, but I understand it could be too much for me.

Be a man? 😂

You can't realistically do everything unless you've got a fantastic support network and can get by on 4 hours sleep. So you need to prioritise what you need to do and in what order and take it from there. If money is the priority then getting a suitable job would be my starting point.

@Wagglerock My husband does not get more done than me, so no point in being a man 😅
I just know that in order to have the life I want I need to do more, I just need to figure out how.
I am sure there are people out there who have achieved a lot with a baby.

I work 4 days a week (8-17) and whilst I haven't started my own business, have written books. DH works full time and also writes. We have a 2 year old.

The house is always a mess and we cook simple meals that don't take long. When DC goes to bed at 7:30pm, we write until 10:30pm. Then I get up at 6:30am and get a bit of writing done before DC wakes up. DH takes them to nursery while I go to work and then goes to his own workplace. I write during lunchtimes and then try to do a bit if housework and cooking with DC after nursery.

On weekends we take turns to get writing sessions done but always have 1 full family day where we do something all together/visit friends or family.

You can do it! And it will get easier as your DC grows and becomes more independent.

I think you need a sleeping baby to do that. My 1 year old doesn’t go to sleep until 8.30-9pm and is awake by 6am. If you have a child that will sleep 7pm-7am you obviously gain 3hrs extra per day to do non essentials.

@Skittles98 Thank you! Very interesting reading your schedule, it's very similar to what we had in mind and have been trying.
Very inspiring! 🙂

@Caspianberg Yes for sure, or I find that I need to leave the house to be productive while my husband takes care of the baby. Hard to concentrate with constant noise.

You need to prioritise. Right now you seem all jumbled up, it's all I need to do this and this and this and this.

Take some time and make a plan. Have a goal of where you want to be and then plan it out in stages, tackle one stage at a time. you'll do more that way then trying to do it all at the same time.

What job did you do pre baby, and what are your plans for a business?

Why not just one or the other in terms of part time work or your business? I find it hard enough to study and work full time and run a household and my dh plays his part too. I couldn't imagine trying to run my own business too. Don't overstretch yourself there's no point.

College, work, a business - wow! Most people pick one thing and have childcare whilst they do it. No can ‘do it all’ themselves. Don’t set yourself up for failure, instead think about your priorities and focus on those whilst allowing some space to enjoy the now with your baby.

I think if it were me I'd focus on the part time job first, to get back into 'normal' life after having a baby. Then when you're settled in a routine with that you could start looking at your business idea more. You might then find that college goes by the by but if that is still on the agenda then you'd most likely be looking at a September start anyway so you can put that on the back burner for a little while yet.

Just be wary of spreading yourself too thin as the last thing you want is to disrupt the steady income and routine of a part time job, I would honestly focus on getting used to working and parenting before I added anything else into the mix too quickly.

Hey all, I'm sure you mean well, but I asked for experiences and stories from people who have taken on multiple things while being parents. I did not ask you to tell me that I shouldn't do it or it's too much. This is something that I want to do to improve mine and my family's life 😉

Good luck with that...there's a reason why those of us who have been there are posting what they are, and that you've not yet had anyone post about how they've done the same as what you're proposing....

@8dpwhoa There definitely are people who have children, work and try to start up something themselves. In order to start a side business usually a steady income is needed so it's really not that unusual.

True, but you've said college as well? What was your employment before you had the baby- and how come you didn't take mat leave from what you were already doing? That would have been one less new thing on your plate at the same time, you see, so asking that question helps people to shape their answers.

People will try to help you but they need a bit more context and in turn you need to bear in mind that posters aren't just plucking these statements out of the air.

@pinecone88 I don't know why you're getting such negative replies. You're obviously willing to work hard - you might just have to sacrifice having a tidy house and a bit of sleep!

When I was at uni, a girl in my year had a baby half way through first year. She still managed to complete her degree on time. Children can adapt to what parents do.

If you work 2-3 days a week, study 2 days at college next year and work in the evenings when DC sleeps, you might find you get there! (Peppa pig is a saviour too when you need a bit of extra time)

And if you can't do it all, then at least you tried and you can be proud of that.

You know your limits, not anyone else :)

@8dpwhoa I said college is something I am thinking about and am aware it could be too much.
My answers to the questions you just asked are not really relevant as I did not ask people to help me or advise me. I just wanted to hear from people who have done something similar, that's all. If there are no people like that here, fair enough 😉

We all have our opinions, but I did not ask for people to give me theirs about my situation, rather talk about their experience.

Well, I set myself up as self-employed whilst working, with a toddler and pregnant but I was only able to do that by being well-established and secure at doing my main paying role. Just as well as I'm now redundant and will be picking up my self-employed hours once baby number two has arrived in the next couple of weeks.

@8dpwhoa Thanks for sharing your experience! Sorry you were made redundant, that must add stress to making your business really work for you.
I have been doing some work in my side business for couple of years, I just want to make it more of a reliable income. I could not stay in my full time job as I wanted part time hours and was not given them, so I am looking for the same kind of job I did before, but part time.

Congrats on the baby! 🙂

Well to be honest I won't be picking up the business full time as it's just not feasible for our family, possibly while the kids are very young but ultimately I will be going back to work at least part time as it pays more than I can make on the side. But as I say I had worked my way up in my career and it's one of those where there's always jobs so will just have to see what comes up, and when. But the sideline is definitely helping with propping up the SMP that's for sure 😂

I know one person who’s done this kind of thing - her parents help out a lot with childcare.

posters aren’t just plucking these statements out of thin air Yep. To elaborate further, the reason I’m saying don’t do it is based on my experience of working and studying whilst having a young toddler. It was shit and stressful even with FT childcare, a cleaner and plenty of money to ensure we didn’t have to worry about cooking if we didn’t want to. I honestly would have had a breakdown if I’d tried to throw a side business into the mix. So my opinion and my experience are one of the same. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves that it needs to be said that you don’t have to do everything all at once; it was definitely something I needed to hear during that time. Sorry I know you did say you wanted positive stories in your OP so feel free to ignore if it doesn’t fit your narrative.

Hi 👋 I managed to juggle a baby with a full time job and studying part time. My partner worked nights so I studied weekends and any spare hour I could grab, prioritise is the key some things may get put to one side and that’s ok as this situation is only temporary until you get where you want to be. Think of the end goals or even two or three years and what you could accomplish it’s doable but you need to work together with your partner. Maybe give each other a day at the weekend to work on the business etc and then swap it the following week but also don’t beat yourself up if you find it’s not all going to plan