School refusal

[TurnUpTurnip]

My daughters 10 and has autism, for the past few days she has been refusing to go to school, I can’t physically force her and she is refusing, she screams and refuses to get out of bed, she can’t communicate why she doesn’t want to go, the trouble is I’m a single parent with 3 other children that do need to go to school, what do you do in this situation! School aren’t very helpful and just expect me to bring the others in but I can’t even get her out of the house 😕

Does she need to go with you on the school run? If not, just leave her at home. If she does as she can’t be left alone you need to work with the school to find a solution. How old are your other children?

Yes she can’t be left home alone, the other children are 9 7 and 4. School aren’t the type that would come and collect them etc

Would she come with you if she knew you were just dropping off her siblings? Does she have an EHCP?

Very hard. Have you put it in writing to the school the reason that you can't get in/leave her alone. Perhaps they could help with getting the other children in. Could you find someone to sit with her while you get the others out?

Yes she has an ehcp, no I haven’t put it in writing as it started Friday she didn’t want to go in but I managed to encourage her, then again Monday same thing refusing but she finally agreed but it’s only today she is adamant she isn’t going in, so it’s only today I haven’t been able to get her there. She won’t come out at all as it’s a 20 min walk there then 20 mins back which she is refusing to do, no one to sit with her unfortunately

Do put in writing in full what the problem is so there is a paper trail and ask if the school could help with getting the others in. There was another thread recently where a mother was struggling and the school helped by putting her in touch with a TA who passed her house and could take her son. This may be an ongoing problem so you are going to need more support. A child here with ASD/PDA and school refusal can be a big issue with the PDA profile. The PDA society might be able to help.

You are also going to need to get to the bottom of the refusal. Is she in the same school as your other children or is she in a specialist placement? Guessing her EHCP (and new school refusal needs) might need reassessing before secondary too.

Not easy to get to the bottom of it as she has limited speech and communication so can’t really tell me the problem she mainly just screams, she can’t have a full conversation she can only answer basic questions. She has a 1:1 all day in school and it’s a mainstream school the same the other child attend. I’ve heard of PDA but I was told they do not diagnose PDA. Luckily my mum came and took her to school but that was a one off as she lives too far for it to be regular.

PDA is somewhat contentious but is diagnosed (often as "ASD with significant PDA traits")makes sense for my child as there is a lot of refusal which is anxiety based. I think it is quite common for children with autism to manage at mainstream for so long but fall apart at some point, often around the transition to secondary. My child with ASD/PDA moved to a specialist setting in late KS2 (was just beginning to refuse) and is happy to go in to their new school now.

Can you ask the school/Senco to do a social story about going to school? And use some visuals/timetable of what she can expect. And then use now and next when you get down to actually getting her up/breakfast/get dressed/go to school?

We have a timetable up for the month for our daughter so she can see school is every day and the weekends activities are up there too.

I can send you some examples OP, if you want to PM me