What age gap is between your kids?

[ScrubMommy21]

And do you think it’s made parenting on a whole harder/easier?

I ask just out of curiosity. Me and DP due our first in just over 2 months and we’re so excited! I’ve loved pregnancy and I’m excited to be a mother. Ideally, I’d love to have multiple children I hope we am lucky enough to do so!

In my head, I would like 2 close-ish in age (18 months apart and then years after that see if we could/would like a few more children!

I see this as I’d like 2 minimum so if we didn’t want anymore we could just have our lovely 2 close in age, the hard days are all mashed together and then as the kids get older etc it becomes easier (please inform me if I’m wrong)

But please share your experiences below :)

20 months. Love it.
DD1 was too young to be jealous of DD2. Tricky logistically at times, but DD1 was a very amenable toddler.
Hardest bit was the six months between eldest starting Reception full time, and youngest starting at the preschool. She did not like losing her playmate. (She only had two 4hr sessions at the nursery).

They have been great company for each other over the last 18 months.

Whether a certain age gap works really depends on the children's nature though.

5 years. We seemed to have it a lot ‘easier’ than friends who had less of an gap, especially when they were younger. My friends were definitely more stressed when they had toddlers and newborns together. My kids are still really close and my younger one really looks up to her brother. They’ve never had fights as the age gap was too big. They don’t compete like children closer in age seem to often do. It worked well for us but ultimately whatever age gap you have, things will be fine.

The ‘hardest’ ages were probably when eldest was 11/12 and youngest was 6/7, just in terms of finding days out that both were happy with as one was ‘grown up’ and the other still very much a child, but it was fine.

Good luck.

2 years 9 months here. We’d have preferred a smaller gap but IVF clinics were closed during lockdown, then we had an early loss.

As it is, we went from having a potty trained, fully speaking child who was not tied to a nap schedule, to now having to balance her needs with those of a grumpy, overtired, nap refusing newborn.

Personally I’d prefer to have had them really close together and get the baby stage out of the way quicker.

There’s 2.5 years between mine, it has its ups and downs (youngest is now 16 months). My eldest has always been a very demanding child, so I think whatever gap we had would have been challenging. I will say though, that the way my DS is right now (the youngest) I could not imagine being heavily pregnant or having a newborn, he is wild and such hard work! 2-2.5 years would be my preference (we would have had closer to 2 years but I had a miscarriage, sometimes you can’t plan things exactly as you’d like).

You may find you change your mind once your first baby is actually here.

No experience of my own here as currently pregnant with my first (due in 7 weeks!)
There are 5 years between my older brother and me though and I like that gap. I looked up to my big brother and always wanted to be like him. My mum said he used to help calm me by rocking my pram if she stopped to speak to someone down the street.
I would like a few years to enjoy 1 baby, get to know them and build parenting experience before having baby number 2...maybe 3 years or so.

Thank you all for your insight!

I’m very aware that 1) we may completely change our minds as soon as baby 1 rocks up! 2) things may prevent a smaller age gap

I just was curious about all points of view and to be fair it seems like no matter what gap it comes with positives :)

I just was curious about all points of view and to be fair it seems like no matter what gap it comes with positives

Exactly this. Mine are 23 months apart, currently 3 and nearly 5. First 12 months a haze of sleep deprivation and sheer exhaustion but the last year has been wonderful. Developing similar interests, younger learns so much from the older one, when in the right mood they play so well together. Family days are fantastic now, we can do the majority of things together. Too young for true jealousy - as far as my eldest is concerned, there was always a sibling. Negative is that the baby days of my youngest are a blur. I didn't particularly enjoy them, I survived them

Friends with a larger gap have really enjoyed their babies. Eldest has loved looking after their sibling. They are more independent and at nursery or school so parents get 1:1 time with baby and do all the classes they did with their first. However, interests are different, when planning activities, one often has to sit out with the baby because they're too little to participate and whilst baby adores their sibling, they don't play together the same way (still positive though).

You can't really go wrong with any of them. All will have ups and downs, just focus on the positives of whatever you end up with

1 & 2 5yr 4 days gap, lots of jealousy early on as 1st was also an only grandchild on both sides for those 5 years.
2 & 3 16.5mth gap, lovely in their early years but now they fight and wind eachother up a lot.
3 & 4/5 2yr 10mth gap, they get on fairly well but the twin bond does see 3rd excluded sometimes.
4/5 & 6 6yr 5mth gap, they adore their 7wk old baby sister.
They all get on okay really, have their ups and downs. Planning activities is harder with bigger age gaps but then the same can be said for very different personalities/interests.

I have 12.5 years between my two.

I would say there are both good and bad points to that size gap.