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Original poster

Leaving baby to go on hen do

14 replies

Redcat101 · 27/09/2021 14:49

I agreed to go on 2 hen dos (in England) next year whilst I was pregnant. It cost £500 all together which I paid. Now my baby is here I don’t know if I made a big mistake because I don’t know how I will leave a 7 month breastfeeding baby at home with my other half for 2 nights! Is it unrealistic to go? Has anyone had any experience similar? Any advice? I can’t get my money back either!

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Somethingsnappy · 27/09/2021 17:23

That sounds difficult. It certainly wouldn't be easy to leave a BF baby overnight. Not impossible though perhaps. Has your baby taken a bottle of expressed milk before? Have you done any expressing? More important, do you actually want to go?

Rosesareyellow · 27/09/2021 17:27

Not unrealistic to go at all. It more depends on if you actually want to go and if you can introduce your baby to a cup or bottle by then - it obviously won’t be much fun for you if you’re worrying about whether your baby is taking her milk or not.

Akire · 27/09/2021 17:30

Are you back at work yet? Many EBF babies will take from bottle or cup in the day so it’s not that different. Although you will have work at getting enough supply ready before hand. If you are not planning giving bottle any time soon then good enough reason to cancel. Although if you have own hotel room there is always the bring partner and baby with you option.

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wishing3 · 27/09/2021 17:35

I think it’s a okay it by ear situation. Many would be able to and happy to, and many wouldn’t. I’d give a heads up that you’re unsure to your friends.

wishing3 · 27/09/2021 17:36

Play it by ear that should say!

OrangeTortoise · 27/09/2021 18:00

How do you feel about introducing a bottle before then? If you've never expressed before I think you'll find it hard to start now (from my own experience) so I'd go for formula personally. At least your baby will be on solids too by then so not completely reliant on the breast. I'd give it a go personally! (Assuming you want to.) I'm sure your DH will be fine.

LakeShoreD · 27/09/2021 18:06

It is helpful if baby will take a bottle so you do have the flexibility to do this sort of stuff if you want to but equally it’s fine if you just don’t want to go! The money is spent regardless, you don’t have to go for that reason alone. I went on a hen when DD was 3 months, it was fine and I had a lovely time but she was taking a bottle.

brainstories568 · 27/09/2021 18:09

I live in London and went to a wedding in Scotland when my breast fed baby was 6 months, leaving him with my parents. I was away for 3 days. It was completely fine, but you do need to start expressing and giving milk in a bottle/cup if you haven't already started doing so. We started our baby on a bottle of formula with his dad in the evening from about 2 weeks because we didn't know how long I'd be able to breast feed for due to my health reasons. It was definitely not part of the plan to still be feeding at 6 months. However I had a good supply, found it easy so just started freezing excess milk from the Hakka "pump" and ended up stopping at 10 months so that I could have chemo, but had enough supply that he could have at least one bottle of breast milk per day until he was over one. If we ever have another child then we would do it like that through choice - our child took milk in whatever form (breast, cow, formula, coconut) from either me, a bottle or cup that was either warm or cold and that was that .... My advice is honestly don't stress about it. If you're flexible now about how you want to feed your child then they should take to whatever they're given in several months time without you needing to worry at all.

I expressed all of the way through the weekend at the same time that I would feed my baby and bought back about 2L of pumped milk on the flight home from Glasgow.

junebirthdaygirl · 27/09/2021 18:12

When my baby was that age l expressed beforehand a few times so he was used to the bottle and froze some in the freezer before l left. Prepared this over a few weeks. Then on the weekend l expressed and discarded so l wouldn't be sore. One of the other women was in the same boat so we had a bit of a laugh as we ran off every now and then to do it. My dh was well practiced at feeding him at that stage so everything went well.

RiaOverTheRainbow · 27/09/2021 18:23

If you decided not to go would another friend be able to take your place and cover (some of) the cost?

trumpisagit · 27/09/2021 18:45

Do you actually want to go? I didn't at that stage.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 27/09/2021 19:33

Tbh id use the baby not to go to the hen do's

Lou2423 · 20/05/2024 09:31

Hiya! I’m literally in this situation in 5 days time - did you end up going? How was it? Xx

Katherina198819 · 20/05/2024 09:54

@Lou2423
I introduced bottle from day one for this exact reason- so if I have to be apart from the baby, I could. Being away for a night isn't a big issue in my opinion, it's not like you are going away for a week.

I had nights out from 4 months- my baby was a good eater and sleeper, took the bottle with no issue and my husband is an amazing dad.

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