New mummy blues

[beau27]

Hi I am totally new to this and have been working up the courage to post something on here for a while that has really been bothering me.

I'm a new mum with a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. I have had PPD for a while now and it's still lingering around but not as bad as it was before. A very good friend of mine was pregnant during the same time as I was and we have shared our journey together which was nice. Since our babies came, it just seems as if she's had it all nailed down with this parenting thing. From routines being set since day 1, being able to exclusively breastfeed and just knowing how to handle all situations with such ease. Well that's how she makes it sound anyway...

Me on the other hand, haven't been able to breastfeed and have had bad PPD. Im better than I was but I still have times where I feel so so overwhelmed with life. Im not looking for any sympathy or anything but I can't help but a lot of the time I feel like I'm not doing a good job as a new mummy. I love my daughter more than my own life and Im trying my best to do everything I can for her. She is healthy and I'm grateful for that. I was wondering if there was anyone out there who's had/having a similar experience so I don't feel so alone in this...

Thank you for reading x

It's so hard isn't it? 💐 So many people experience this, you're really not the only one. I am 100% sure that your friend doesn't have everything nailed. I'm sure she hasn't had a routine since day 1 (I don't think that's even possible with a newborn!) and I'm sure she's struggling too. It's such hard work looking after a baby, even if people seem like they're nailing it and loving every second, they will have their own struggles.

You're not doing a bad job at all. Not being able to breastfeed does NOT make you a failure in any way. Also remember that every mum and every baby is different. Some babies are harder work than others and no one knows your baby better than you. You're the expert when it comes to your baby so try and remember this when you're feeling like you're lacking confidence.

Keep going op, it does get easier. Personally, things got a bit easier for me at 6 months. Now my baby is 13 months and she's so much easier. It almost feels like a different life to look back on the early days.

Xx

I know it's easy to say but try to stay positive. Sounds like each day is better than the last which is a great thing. You are doing the best for your baby and your friend is doing the best for theirs A doesn't mean one is better or right, it just means that everyone Is different. Is it maybe a suggestion to immerse yourself in other friends and family for a bit and give yourself some space from this friend for a bit so that you don't compare and contrast what they do.
If it's any consolation , I was in your position and compared everything. Turned out my friend was up sobbing most of the night as she was comparing herself to other mums and couldn't get it together but was then super Instagram ready whenever people saw her, but she was falling to bits in between. I took some time apart from her, still saw her occasionally but only for things where we couldn't get too deep into conversation or where I felt I could leave if I needed or change the subject to a non-baby one. It really helped. We have a different relationship now but it's a healthy one and one where I feel more confident in my ability as a parent for my child.

@beau27 I can totally relate to this post so thank you for sharing. I have a 3 month old and had similar. Like other people have said, she may look like she has it together but doesnt really - she may be looking at you thinking how well you're managing and feels like she has to prove herself to you! Just keep going, it sounds like its getting better for you, and you're doing great!