Second maternity leave - how did you find it?

[TaraRhu]

Hi all

I'm currently on maternity with my 5 month dd. My son is 3 and at nursery 3 days a week.

I'm finding leave very different this time and just wanted to check this was normal??

At first I just luxuriated I the days when my son was at nursery and enjoyed just doing as little as humanly possible. I found the baby so much easier second time and so much less work than my toddler! I couldn't beleive I found it hard the first time ! Lol

Anyway, I assumed that once the dust settled I'd get out and about doing all the usual stuff (baby classes, meeting new mums etc). But the truth is I can't really be bothered this time. I spend the days with my son with mums I know and doing stuff they both enjoy. The other days I do one baby class and tbh not much else. I just enjoy having some time to myself and a break from my 3 yo. Don't have the energy to make small talk with people this time.

Thing is I feel guilty that I'm not getting 'out there' and missing out on meeting others.I have no friends with babies this time and I miss being able to compare notes.

Am I being silly?

I'm pg with number 2, DD 3yo will be in nursery 3-4 days a week.

Honestly I don't know why I made myself do so much during 1st mat leave, we were always at a class or seeing people because I felt I should. I'm so looking forward to doing less and hopefully enjoying time at home with baby!

If it's working for you and your family why fix what's not broken?!

Yes! First time I was busy filling the days and now they fill themselves. My second has been a very easy baby though so I think that's made a huge difference - who knew you'd feel alright if you're not up 5 times a night 😂

As Herodotus said, you never get into the same river twice ....

I think with the second child you can just chill out a little more. It's the same throughout their childhood.

Eldest starts primary? Sewn in uniform labels, obsession with moving up through book bands and getting "greater depth" in at least one key area of the curriculum.

Second child? Write name in second hand uniform with sharpie. Try to read once a week. Book bands cease to be exciting as fact is by KS2 they are almost all reading, it doesn't really matter whether our kid finishes the oxford reading tree in reception or year 2.

Thanks all. I'm bloomin shattered today as my dd has the cold and my eldest has had hand foot and mouth disease for the last ten days snd is only just back to nursery. The sun has come out and I could go for a walk but I'd rather watch countdown!

Absolutely agree. I have a 3yo who is in nursery 2.5 days a week and an almost 4 month old. I do bugger all. We potter around the house, maybe go for a walk, grab a coffee with a friend once a week or see my parents. It’s lovely. So much more relaxing than first time round where I was trundling to sing & sign with a full race of make up 2 weeks after a c section.

Face*!

@TaraRhu, your experience of Mat Leave 2 is very similar to what mine was. It’s fine.