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Potty training anyone just done child led?...............

12 replies

firstmum45 · 06/12/2007 14:17

Sometimes I think I am the only mum with areluctant girl potty trainer. She will be three at end of Dec.

We tried potty traing as per the books earlier on in the year. My daughters behaviour ticked all the boxes but it was a complete disaster suffice to say she was crying to go back to nappies after 2 days of refusing a sit on a potty at all and just soiling and weeing herself all the time.

My daughter is bright articulate and knows exactly what happens in the loo. She even helps empty nappies in the loo and loves to pull the chain and then wash her hands.

She just still chooses not to use the loo or potty.

I have decided to avoid any further stress to wait and be led by her, does this work I understand this methos is used in other countries?

I will add that all her friends at pre school are toilet trained and the fact that she is not in pants or using a potty does not bother her.

She also gave her night time bottle up of her own accord at 2.6 bizarrely when on holiday.

The dummy has been dropped during the day by her hoping eventually to go by her at night time.

So is this worth a try seems to have worked with bottle and dummy.

Not bothered about her in nappies, pre-school are happy they say the same ie when she is really it will be easy.

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Niecie · 06/12/2007 14:35

Neither of my DS's showed any interest in wanting to be potty trained and would probably both be in nappies now left to their own devices. DS1 was 3.4 and DS2 was 3.7 when I decided enough was enough and they would have to do it on my terms.

DS1 was pretty text book but DS2 resisted using a toilet for 3 days and just went on the floor. I wondered if he just didn't know what it felt like to let go and do a wee on the potty so I gave him loads of drink on the third day, kept suggesting the toilet and he refused to use it. Knowing that he needed to go I ended up not letting him out of the bathroom until he used it. It took 2 hours and in the end I had to leave him with my mother whilst I got DS1 from school and as soon as I was out of the door he used the potty for the first time. After that there was no looking back so I think it was a question of a battle of wills and not knowing quite what to do.

Your DD is a bit younger than my DS but if you think she is ready is it a question of a battle of wills with her too? You could wait a couple more months to see what happens and then give it another go in the spring when the weather is better. This time don't go back and let her have nappies again, if you really feel she is ready.

I bet she has it in no time at all though. One advantage of leaving so long is that once they get it they are relatively quick to be reliable and accident free.

seeker · 06/12/2007 14:51

I did. I really can't see the point in stressing over it - they won't be going off to university in nappies!

Let her see you using the loo, make sure there's a potty about, buy her some pretty pants and comment casually that she can wear them once she's stopped needing nappies, then just wait. It'll happen - and in my opinion, the less you comment on it, the faster it'll happen.

BahHunkerBug · 06/12/2007 14:52

Yep.

DS1's just done it at 3.6. Overnight. No accidents. He's 3.8 now.

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nimnom · 06/12/2007 15:00

IME it is a lot easier to wait until your child is ready - I tried too early which ended up being very messy. It was obvious a few months later that ds was ready and we stayed in for a few days and cracked it.

firstmum45 · 06/12/2007 16:08

thanks for your comments.

Seeker i,m with you my gut feeling is to wait and let her lead unless tjis is still an issue just before primary school!!!!!!

My instincts tell me she will do it when she is ready.

Although my friends at toddler group have potty trained earlier they have had varying degrees of success and have found it very stressful.

Think I,m going to wait

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coby · 06/12/2007 22:48

firstmum45 - think you have made the right choice. My DD1 trained at just over 3yo.

Effectively we just went out and bought pants when she said she wanted them, we never had an accident and it was totally stress free for both of us, a completely positive experience (which I think lead to her going through the night dry from day one too).

Like you DD, mine is very clever girl and just had more importnant things on her mind beforehand. I don't get all this rushing to get them into pants (apart from the expense of disposable nappies). All her friends were potty trained much earlier but that wasn't an issue for her.

sarahtwoturtledoves · 06/12/2007 22:57

My 2 DDs were totally different. DD1 wasn't bothered about wet/dirty nappies so I just kept a potty about from about 2yo, she didn't really get intersted until she was nearly 3, then it was a piece of cake DD2 got herself dry at about 20 months cos she wanted to be like big sister (would love to take the credit for it but it was all down to her). Given 2 very different experiences, both did it in their own time. By the time they get to school you really can't tell who was dry first. Sometimes wish DD2 was in nappies cos she is obsessed with public loos, how I would love for her to be in nappies cos a 2yo has very small bladder so needs to go to loo A LOT

Monkeytrousers · 06/12/2007 23:02

yes. ds staggered for about a week, then nappies as started nursery and I wasn;t ready. When half term came did it overnight.

Still won;t do a poo in the loo but tells me when he wants a "poo nappy".

No accidents at all.

Monkeytrousers · 06/12/2007 23:03

he was 3.2

WHEELYbahhumBUG · 06/12/2007 23:10

Yes ! DD is 3 in January and last week she virtually just decided to use the toilet. We had tried everything and she just refused. She could hold it and new when she needed to go but just wouldn't sit on toilet or potty. Last Thursday she just agreed to do it and we haven't really looked back. No wee accidents since friday morning (She only started thursday pm) and she started using the toilet rather than potty at the weekend and can pull her pants down, jump onto toilet, wipe herself and pull pants up no problem.

(We're still having an issue with poo but am now just going to hope this will follow).

firstmum45 · 07/12/2007 16:08

It is good to hear that other girls have been just like my dd.

Whilst I know that every child is different, like we all know, it is comforting to know that my dd behaviour is quite normal.

Thanks mumsnetters

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Monkeytrousers · 07/12/2007 16:48

DP worried that DS was behind everyone else, but I am very glad we didn;t force the issue as everyone I know who did had weeks if not months of grief. Will defo be waiting for the signals from the next one - whatever the gender.

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