Hi
I am looking for some advice please. Is a long story so will try and keep it concise.
Ex husband and I have two children, I have a third with my now fiance. Ex and I have been separated 6 years and are divorced. There has been issues with him and DA, I previously had a non molestation order in 2019/2020 due to ongoing harassment for leaving him. When it expired he was in a new relationship and left me alone, however when that relationship went wrong he became abusive and harassing to me again. Cutting to the chase, police are involved, he is on bail currently for stalking his ex who he split with earlier this year, and I have had to block him completely as has my fiance, due to constant harassing and vile calls and messages.
He has alcohol and drug issues, is currently staying on his mum's sofa as homeless and basically works cash in hand to pay for the alcohol etc.
I have always tried to maintain a relationship between him and his children - ensuring they see him - this has at times been supervised by his mum, due to his issues. However back in June I became concerned that his mum was enabling his drug use and was lying to me about the children's safety when with her and him. I then asked for contact to stop face to face and be telephone only for a couple of weeks whilst he dealt with the drinking and drug taking. He did not do this, was then arrested for stalking and harassment and spiralled. I then received a phone call from Children's Services advising that they did not recommend face to face unsupervised contact with him and the children as they had received a police report (presumably the stalking issue) and they had concerns that were being taken to MARAC and that they would recommend contact centre or court.
He has done neither of those as does not believe he needs to. He has stated to his mum that it was advisory only from Children's Services and does not believe I should follow that advice.
I do not want to go to court myself for a child arrangements order as I do not really have that much money and I do not want to pay for him to see his children. I feel that he should do that. Additionally he owes almost £9,000 in CMS arrears and rising, as he is not registered at living with his mum and has no bank account - so therefore says he will not pay as he cannot be made to.
I am getting married next year and we want to take the children on a family moon but I am aware I need his permission to take the children out of the country on holiday for a week. I do not think he will grant this as I know what he is like. I am aware I can apply for a specific issues order via the court - will this trigger a Child Contact Arrangement? I do not want to go for one of those as I feel if he wants to be part of his children's lives he should have the motivation to do that himself, without me having to pay for it?