So today

[justanotherday1987]

Hi
So...
I don't know where to start
How do you keep going for your babies when you have nothing left to give?
My mum, who I am so close to, has just been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I can't cope. I try, I try so hard and I get up and I sort my children out, I take them to school, the baby for a nap etc but I just want out. I can't wait for them to go bed, but I can't stand being alone either.
What do you do when you are only living for your babies?
I have a job, a good job and I earn ok.
My husband is an ok dad, a crap husband and I made a mistake marrying him but it's too late now.
How do I get out of this funk? How can I make my life worth living, because I have to. I'm a mum, the alternative is unthinkable

This is such awful news i am so so sorry you are having to go through this. I'm struggling to find words to help, but just take one step at a time and do what you can. No-one is expecting you to be superwomen, if you need space then tell your hubby you need a day away from everything. Take some sick days off work if you need to, just do whatever you feel will help in the moment.

Another way to think of it, is what would you be doing without your babies? Your DC are givign your life a bit of routine, stability and reasoning at the moment, which may not be a bad thing right now. 'Living for your babies' can be a positive or negative thing depending on how you view it - i know you said you wanted out. but what would the alternative be? The are giving you a reason to get up in the morning at the moment, try and think of that as a positive thing.

Again, im so sorry for what your going through, i wish you all the best xxx

Having been through something similar with my mum, I would say, it is hard, but you can do it. One foot in front of the other, and keep plodding on. Visiting a dr could help if you feel like this is a longer term depression rather than a reactionary period of grief, antidepressants got me through when everything was just too hard when my mum was first diagnosed. It sucks, and it will continue to suck, but there will be times of light in the darkness, your kids will do something that makes you smile, your mum will have good days as well as bad ones. You need to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to process and to feel your emotions as well, if you can afford it now is the time to outsource as much as you can so you can cope better- freezer food, takeaways, ready meals, netflix for the kids when you really need a break, etc. You can and will get through this, and if you are just living for your kids, that's ok too- society puts this pressure on us to be the perfect woman, with work, hobbies, neat tidy houses, freshly cooked food, neat and tidy kids who don't have screens etc... but thats not real life.

Thank you, your kind words really help.
Am currently 30 minutes into bing rather then trying to fight the bedtime battles so am taking your advice x