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Original poster

that book about raising a sensitive child...

26 replies

MascaraOHara · 06/12/2007 11:33

Please can someone remind me what it was called? I can't find the thread and I want it for Christmas.

Dd has suddenly become very anxious about school because one biy said that she wanted to marry another boy.. She is ridiculously upset about it and yet I don't know how to help her. The little boy was obviously just thinking he was funny. I do feel for her but if she's this upset about something so minor what about when something serious happens?!?!

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macwoozy · 06/12/2007 11:41

Poor dd

Is it the 'The Out of Sync child' by any chance?

Niecie · 06/12/2007 11:43

There is one called "The Highly Sensitive Child"

Is this it?

cadeLaideInAManger · 06/12/2007 11:44

I'll keep my eye on this one.
Ds1 is so anxious about school, last night he dreamt one of his teachers tied him to the bed and left him with a bowl of water to drink from like a dog, she left him like this for 5 weeks.
Note; this was a dream !

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cadeLaideInAManger · 06/12/2007 11:46

How old is she Mascara?

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 06/12/2007 11:49

Oh thatkns, I think that might be the one Niece.. lots of people were recommending a specific one on t a thread a while back and I went to order it at the time but couldn't. Now I can't remember what it was called.

She is 5

I told her to say something back to him but she said no cos he will cry and that's not nice. She said he cries at everything. The sad thing is the my dd has just started having school dinners and this little boy took her under his wing and they've become friends which I think is sweet but now she doesn't want to be his friend or have school dinners because everyone says she's going to marry him and she doesn't want to marry him.. bless her.

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SquonkaClaus · 06/12/2007 11:54

Mascara - that's the one from the thread from about three months ago.

I bought it and it was interesting.

I don't parent any differently, because I was already doing most of what the book recommends, but it was really good to know that dd2 is not the only child that is scared of everything (literally, her own shadow ) and it helped me put things in perspective.

If you can't get it, I could dig mine out for you to borrow if you like.

CoteDAzur · 06/12/2007 16:45

Is a child "highly sensitive" when she is scared of other children (who come to the same slide as her, for example), sits down and cries like the world has just ended when another child accidentally pumps into her, wants to be carried (rather than pushed in the pram, let alone walk) when out and about, etc?

Or does she just need the proverbial umbilical cord cut?

Dd is 2.3 and I love her to bits but I am struggling to understand how to help her develop into a confident child who actually enjoys doing things. I'd be grateful if somebody could give me a pointer.

Sorry for the thread hijack.

Fizzylemonade · 06/12/2007 17:53

I bought the Highly Sensitive Child and found it fantastic.

My son hated having his hair washed and I learnt to ask him how he wanted me to do it, so now I have to pour the water really slowly over his hair (he is 4.5 yr). He would immediately come back to me if an adult or bigger child was walking towards him and he was running on ahead of me when we were out. He wouldn't queue to go on a slide, if someone came up behind him he would dissolve into tears. We would go to a childrens party and he would not play for 25 minutes, he would just watch and then maybe join in. It was really hard for me to take the criticism from other people.

The book helps you to reassure them and also how to address other people's reactions!

Cote- it does really help, as my son was older I tended to concentrate on the "your child at school" bit but I know it also adresses younger children.

goingfriggincrazy · 06/12/2007 18:05

Another owner of a sensitive child here,the book was a excellent read also pointed me towards the highly sensitive book for adults...he definetly gets it from me.

CoteDAzur · 06/12/2007 18:26

"He wouldn't queue to go on a slide, if someone came up behind him he would dissolve into tears."

My dd exactly!

Does the book provide ways to 'desensitize' your child?

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 07/12/2007 08:30

Hi thanks guys, I just want to learn how best to encouurage her a long so that she understands not to take things to heart and I would like to learn some coping strategies that she can use. She is a lovely lovely child and would never ever do anything to upset another person, she is caring and considerate and a bit of a perfectionist. I don't want to change her in anyway just help her deal with her emotions so that she can grow up happy and confident iykwim

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SquonkaClaus · 07/12/2007 08:33

know exactly what you mean. We wouldn't change dd2 for anything, but we did want to reassure ourselves that there was nothing wrong with her, and we wanted to help her deal with things for herself a bit better.

There is a tick list at the beginning, and if you tick (can't remember exactly, but say) 14 out of 20 your child is sensitive. We ticked 19 and the 20th was a school question which she hasn't started yet!

Let me know if you want me to dig my copy out.

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 07/12/2007 08:36

Thanks ever so much for the offer. I think I eill put it on my Christmas list

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FrostyGlassSlipper · 07/12/2007 08:58

MascaraOhara - Thank you so much for this thread. DH and I have been pulling our hair out trying to work out why DD can be happy and confident sometimes and then at others, clinging to our legs, scared to look across the room because a man (any man) is there, or she'll cry because she's in a tumble tots class and she cant lift her the leg the right way and thinks everyone is laughing at her (they're not).

I showed DH the link to that book last night and we both agreed 'highly sensitive' are the words we've been looking for. She is not yet 4 so hopefully we have some time to come up with some coping strategies.

Actually a relief to know she's not alone....

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 07/12/2007 09:39

FGS - there was a big long thread a few months back where lots of us were sharing stories.. It might be very reassuring for you to read it. I tried to find it the other day to get the name of the book. I will search again this weekend and if I can find it I will link to it for you

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FrostyGlassSlipper · 07/12/2007 10:36

I found it for you, I think

cory · 07/12/2007 10:51

I would also like to add that just because a child is highly sensitive at one stage of their lives it doesn't mean they're necessarily going to be the same at every stage. My brother who was frightened at everything at age 2-3 grew into a remarkably happy and laidback boy a few years later. My dd was incredibly clingy for the first 3 or 4 years of her life but has grown into one of the most socially accomplished pre-teens I know; she has just spent 4 weeks on her own in a hospital clinic and had a whale of a time! She's just somebody who likes people! But you couldn't possible have predicted that from seeing her when she was little. I never read any books and am not aware of having done anything particular with her. Except maybe show her that I like people, I enjoy new situations and challenges, and I can get a laugh about most things that happen. My son's personality has also changed, but from a happy-go-lucky toddler to quite a sensitive little boy. I think the moral is, don't attach a label to them too soon, they need the right to develop in any direction.

NAB3littlemonkeys · 07/12/2007 11:06

Raising your spirited child?

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 07/12/2007 11:18

That's not it FGS but that looks useful also thanks.

I must admit everybody warms to my dd, she's just one of those kids everybody likes so I'm hoping that she growa to recognise this as she blossoms

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FrostyGlassSlipper · 07/12/2007 11:23

Ah ok. Will wait for you to find it for me then

My Dd is adorable and often very confident but she is frequently 'out of her depth' in situations and just crumbles into tears. I'm not really bothered about labelling her - I just want to be able to tell her it's ok to be worried about things and help her find her own way of dealing with it.

NomDePlume · 07/12/2007 11:30

lol MOH, I read your 11.18 post as

"That's not it For God's Sake..."

then I realised you meant FrostedGlassSlipper

NomDePlume · 07/12/2007 11:31

I was thinking, "easy tiger !"

FrostyGlassSlipper · 07/12/2007 11:40

Original poster

MascaraOHara · 07/12/2007 11:57

Lol, NDP I thought that when I wrote it lol

I'll have another search now as at home today so have a bit more time

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Original poster

MascaraOHara · 07/12/2007 12:06

I found it www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=8&threadid=408107#8292742/here, evenutally lol

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