Help with food

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Ergh! I'm feeling like an utterly rubbish mum at the moment . I think I've failed and I really want to fix it.

FTM and my DS is 14 months old.

FF baby. He was weaned at 6 months and I followed a mix of pureee and finger foods and he was a really keen interested eater. Ate a lovely mix of everything very happily .

At 10/11 months he started getting picky but I put it down to him learning that he has a choice but it's just got worse and worse.

He now won't let me feed him anything but his breakfast ( he also feeds himself this ) which is wheatbix or shredies and he loves fruit.

Savoury is a massive challenge. He used to love toast , muffins , eggs and now he won't go near any of them . Currently there are about three things he will eat. Just to confirm he has no issue with the ability to eat! Just wanting to do it.

He started nursery at 12 months and initially went on hunger strike at nursery but now eats much better there. Nursery are fantastic at helping me . And I think with the other babies eating he has much less issue there and is eating most of the food they cook.

Currently I am making three things and putting it on his plate the aim behind this was to give him one "safe " food that I knew he would eat but what he then does is just eat that and throw everything else on the floor.

He will eat sweet things absolutely no problem but I don't know if I should be offering them as advice is so conflicting. Someone told me if I keep giving him a sweet option then he will learn if he doesn't eat what I offer I will give him sweet but sometimes I'm so desperate for him to eat something

I feel a bit stuck. I think I plan to just keep putting three things on his plate in the hope he does try. But sometimes this leads to a meltdown as he's hungry but won't eat what I am giving him.

We all cheer him anytime he puts anything in his mouth to try and help .

Does anyone have any advice? I saw a photo this morning of a friends 9 month old tucking into a dippy egg and felt so jealous ( how ridiculous is that)

Just for some more context re food routine he now has cows milk and has up to 7oz when he first wakes up and 7oz at bedtime

Away from food he's a happy chatty cheerful boy but food makes him and me sad at the moment.

Right so there's a few things going on here, all of which can be sorted.

Firstly, he only needs 10floz of milk and this can include milk used on cereal, so I'd stop the morning bottle and go straight to breakfast.

Secondly, I wouldn't be watching or cheering, that's too much pressure on him to perform. He'll probably eat a bit better if you just benignly ignore him.

Then I think the advice you were given is right. He's never going to eat savoury. He's worked out already that if he chicks it on the floor something much more interesting is on its way.

If he doesn't eat, just assume he's not hungry, clear away abs do something else. He might shout at you a bit but he'll soon learn the new way

It’s his decision how much he eats, it’s your decision what you serve up for him. At the moment, it sounds like he’s controlling both of these if you’re making three different things. Make one thing and if he chooses to throw it on the floor, let it be. Don’t react at all. He can have a meltdown while you get on with your life! Don’t give him anything else. He won’t die of starvation.
Does he join you for family mealtimes and see you eating the same thing? Babies are very much ‘monkey see, monkey do’. That might help.

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

Right so there's a few things going on here, all of which can be sorted.

Firstly, he only needs 10floz of milk and this can include milk used on cereal, so I'd stop the morning bottle and go straight to breakfast.

Secondly, I wouldn't be watching or cheering, that's too much pressure on him to perform. He'll probably eat a bit better if you just benignly ignore him.

Then I think the advice you were given is right. He's never going to eat savoury. He's worked out already that if he chicks it on the floor something much more interesting is on its way.

If he doesn't eat, just assume he's not hungry, clear away abs do something else. He might shout at you a bit but he'll soon learn the new way

Thank you so much! I can't tell you how helpful this is!

Thank you so much! I can't tell you how helpful this is!

Our DD was extremely fussy, we had to learn the hard way

Solidarity OP- my 10 month old had a cold and teething and has subsequently decided not to eat- every meal ends up on the floor and she just wants milk. It’s easy to say hold off the milk but when you just want to fill your baby it’s so hard.
I hope mine snaps out of this

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

Thank you so much! I can't tell you how helpful this is!

Our DD was extremely fussy, we had to learn the hard way

I was so scared to post this as thought I would get so judged! I should have had more faith 😊

I'd recommend the Big Little Feelings Instagram page. They have some useful advice about food. As the pp suggested, they recommend placing the food in front of your child and don't say anything. You can talk about your day etc but don't mention food at all. No 'is that yummy?' or praising them when they do eat. These sound positive but they're all just pressure. Fingers crossed this works for you!

Solidarity OP- my 10 month old had a cold and teething and has subsequently decided not to eat- every meal ends up on the floor and she just wants milk. It’s easy to say hold off the milk but when you just want to fill your baby it’s so hard.
I hope mine snaps out of this

If they are teething, unwell or in pain, I really wouldn't worry about getting them to eat. If they just want milk, that's fine. By all means try ibruprofen and some teething gel, like Dentinox but if he's not eating, just don't worry until he's better.

DD once survived 3 days on fruit juice when she had chicken pox as that's the only thing she would have. She soon caught up with her missed calories when she was feeling better

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

*Solidarity OP- my 10 month old had a cold and teething and has subsequently decided not to eat- every meal ends up on the floor and she just wants milk. It’s easy to say hold off the milk but when you just want to fill your baby it’s so hard. I hope mine snaps out of this*

If they are teething, unwell or in pain, I really wouldn't worry about getting them to eat. If they just want milk, that's fine. By all means try ibruprofen and some teething gel, like Dentinox but if he's not eating, just don't worry until he's better.

DD once survived 3 days on fruit juice when she had chicken pox as that's the only thing she would have. She soon caught up with her missed calories when she was feeling better

Thanks- cold all done and teething eased but still not back on the solids. I’ll give it another week before I pull my hair fully out

All of mine went from eating anything to being fussy at around 18 months….give or take 6 months, my memory is hazy!!

Thank you all so much! Took on as much advice as I could and Lunchtime done! We all ate together. He tried his but then threw all on the floor. I offered again and then just got him out and carried on with my lunch! He did shout a lot but is now napping! He will have a Apple for a snack before we try dinner again later. Ignoring the food issue certainly helped and we all talked about . Normally I would be panicking that he hasn't eaten but I will just contributing offering the foods I have made

One solution to the sweet issue is to serve everything together, e.g., if you're going to offer, say, toast fingers, hummus, and veg sticks for lunch and you think some fruit for afters would be nice, just put the fruit down with the toast/hummus/veg. If he wants to eat the fruit first, or even only the fruit, that's fine, his choice, but that way it's not a 'reward' for rejecting the savoury – it's just all 'lunch' and he can eat it in whatever order he chooses.

I also think that making sure every meal includes something he likes is a good idea, and I think often recommended for fussy eaters, but it shouldn't be three separate meals, or putting you to a lot of extra trouble. If you just mean that you know he likes bread, so you're offering ham, tomato, and bread instead of ham, tomato, and crackers, I think that's exactly what's recommended. I think it's also supposed to be fine for the 'safe' food to be a slightly random 'side', so if that means lunch is jacket potatoes with tuna and sweetcorn, and a side of bread for him, fair enough –and that way your meals don't always have to be built around his safe foods.

To @OnlyFoolsnMothers, my wee one always went right off her food with teething at that age. Plain yoghurt was usually the first thing she'd eat afterwards, and we tended to just go with it – she always returned to happily eating a range of foods over a few days, and we figured you can do a lot worse nutritionally than plain yoghurt with or without a bit of fruit.

I agree with ignoring his eating and getting on with yours.

If he doesn’t eat he’ll be hungry later and will eat what’s on offer!

I would put his food separately so he can only throw one away at a time - rather than the whole plate

Kids won’t starve!