Brother came to see newborn with a cold

[Jerryandtom]

I had my baby 13 days ago. She was induced 2 weeks early so today would be her due date. I live a few hours away from my family and right now we are just in a one bedroom flat. When my family have come to visit they've been staying on our sofabed in the living room.
Last night my brother came up to stay the night and meet the baby. He told me he was really tired which I just assumed was down to work. Today just before he left he said he'd got a message saying a night out he had planned for tonight was cancelled and that he was glad as he was feeling really sick. When I asked with what he said it was a cold. I said I wished he'd said he had a cold before coming up as I'd have told him to wait until it was gone. He was telling me it's nothing because it's just a cold and he wanted to meet her. I'm really annoyed because I don't think he should have come if he knew he was unwell. He said it's not covid as he did a lat flow test (he's a teacher so does these regularly) but even if it's just a regular cold I don't think he should have come. I'm just hoping that the fact I hadn't realised he was sick all night means that he actually isn't that bad as it wasn't obvious.

I'm a ftm and had a really difficult pregnancy after years of trying and thinking I wouldn't be able to get pregnant naturally so I have really high anxiety about her wellbeing and being okay so I'm prepared to accept if I'm being unreasonable.

Now I'm googling and these horror stories are coming up which are terrifying me.

Unfortunately she is going to come into contact with all sorts of viruses during her life and you can't protect her from them all.

If you are BFing she'll get plenty of immunity from you, if not, she will still probably be ok, people don't always develop a cold every time they are near to someone who has one.

I can understand your anxiety after your fertility problems. I'd be a bit miffed with DB as well fit not mentioning his cold before he came but it does seem like your health anxiety is a bit extreme.

If it's marring you're tile with your lovely LO, I'd call the PANDAS Foundation and talk through how you are feeling with them.

Congratulations on your new DD

I'd be annoyed too, he is putting his needs before you and the baby. I honestly wouldn't be happy with him at all.
I know babies will be exposed to bugs, but it shouldn't be intentionally by family when they are 13 days old ffs.

I think that’s really unacceptable of your brother. Very selfish. Your LO should be fine, but he really shouldn’t have risked her health.

If it helps, my second born got a cold in the first two weeks because of his older sibling, and was perfectly fine. But it’s also completely understandable to be anxious about it.

My friend came to see my day old baby with a cold...her exact words were "I have a cold but didn't want to miss seeing her". If it helps my baby didn't get ill. Also think how many babies are born who have snotty older siblings breathing all.over them!

I'm sure baby will be totally fine long term but anyone who knowingly visits a newborn with a cold is a dick if it could have otherwise been rearranged. A newborn with a cold is a miserable situation. Have you got everything you need on standby just in case like a nasal suction device?

He needs to go for a PCR too. Delta manifests as cold like symptoms. I'd be angry with him.

www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/your-babys-health/common-illnesses/eight-facts-about-baby-and-newborn-coughs-and-colds

I meant to share this as well.