Sleep training

[SpeedRunParent]

Headlines in inews.co.U.K. today:
Fifteen years of research suggests that sleep training for babies can cause them more distress

I also believe it has caused untold anxiety for Mum’s who have been lead to expect their babies to somehow sleep through really early. Some babies are sleepers, some aren't. We need to understand that and stop trying to 'train them' into not disrupting our lives too much.

I completely agree my family member is a therapist they have been taught it causes a lot of damage to babies, I have 3 children am going through the sleepless nights again now and it is the hardest thing I've ever done but i am child led whats best for them I will roll with

I can’t find the article- can you post a link?

Found it - www.google.co.uk/amp/s/inews.co.uk/opinion/sleep-training-babies-cause-distress-research-1199132/amp

Link or is this parent shaming bullshit?!

Ok so this is about cry it out- not a method I use or advocate BUT sleep training is different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it’s a spectrum. To me it’s obvious that controlled crying and cry it out are really distressing for babies, but there are sleep training solutions which don’t involve crying or distress for the baby. We followed Lucy Wolfe’s ‘stay and soothe’ method and it helped us so much, but our baby was never left to cry. I still go to him as soon as he cries every time. But he’s not waking every hour like he did before, which is sanity saving for me!

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Link or is this parent shaming bullshit?!

Err, odd response. Okay, clearly there's an issue there but I can assure you I didn't meant to hit a nerve, it was a simple enough point. As it happens, I couldn't cut and paste the link from FB where I saw it originally but 'User' found it for us.

What a load of crap. Sleep training is just a blanket term for helping your child sleep - shushing and patting their bottom is sleep training!

The author of this article seems to be confused between that and leaving the baby to cry which is clearly cruel.

Total bullshit honestly. Nothing wrong with sleep training.

I think everyone needs to look at their own situation and assess it as a whole. There's no new research in that article and some much better sources of information out there.

Depends on the age and temperament of the baby. It's hard to be a joyful parent when you're woken every hour for 9 months.

Some people can manage on little sleep for years, some people have jobs where they the safety of others lies in their hands and they need to be on the ball. You have to weigh up all the different risks.

Sleep training was the best thing we did! A few episodes of crying over 5 nights versus a mother who's so sleep deprived she is hallucinating and has to get behind the wheel of a car...

Babies need sleep too. Everyone in our house was so much happier once we got the sleep sorted out.

Babies need sleep too. Everyone in our house was so much happier once we got the sleep sorted out yes fully agree! The idea that you are a better parent because you still co sleep and breastfeed a preschooler 6 times a night is lost of me. I don’t see how sleep is any diff to weaning onto solids, some babies resist and cry for their milk over food but as a parent you know what’s best - obviously you wouldn’t let a baby starve but equally they have to be weaned

That’s a really interesting article, OP, thanks for highlighting. Sleep training is such an emotive topic, but agree it’s more of an umbrella term for lots of different approaches. This article is a bit overkill in trying to pull at the heart strings, and is referring only to the more extreme range of measures, which I know personally I would never try. Having said that, I do have a 7-month old who thinks trying to get her sleep is some kind of personal affront, and have definitely been tempted in the early hours towards ‘doing something’. But then I always try and remember that, like everything else, sleep is developmental, so you can’t expect a baby to be able to do it until they are ready. My little girl will learn how to sleep eventually, in the same way she has learnt how to roll and sit up, and how she will learn to walk and talk, and it’s my job as her mum to just support her and give her the comfort she needs when she struggles. There are important techniques you can use to help support them to learn, and those are ‘sleep training’ techniques, but I do believe leaving them to cry is akin to punishing them for not being able to write their name yet

I don’t see how sleep is any diff to weaning onto solids, some babies resist and cry for their milk over food but as a parent you know what’s best - obviously you wouldn’t let a baby starve but equally they have to be weaned

Bloody hell that's a dangerous statement to make @OnlyFoolsnMothers; milk is generally way more important for babies than food. Milk is supposed to be their main source of nutrition for the whole of the first year, then can be a substantial part of their diet in the second year.

Are you suggesting that some babies will never wean themselves off milk and starting eating food unless you force them to?!

I’ve read the article but didn’t see a link to any new research?! Can someone link it? As pp have pointed out sleep training is a whole spectrum which this article completely misses though that may be because some countries such as the US encourage CIO and sleep training is synonymous with CIO there.
To a different point, I never refused mine milk when weaning them, I just offered the milk as well as food and they all gradually drank less milk and ate more food.

@BlibBlabBlob

I don’t see how sleep is any diff to weaning onto solids, some babies resist and cry for their milk over food but as a parent you know what’s best - obviously you wouldn’t let a baby starve but equally they have to be weaned

Bloody hell that's a dangerous statement to make @OnlyFoolsnMothers; milk is generally way more important for babies than food. Milk is supposed to be their main source of nutrition for the whole of the first year, then can be a substantial part of their diet in the second year.

Taken way too literal- my LO is 10months and completely off her foods following a cold- only wants milk, I have to keep offering food (well aware that food before 1 is for fun) because drinking too much milk will only prevent her from trying foods. That’s not dangerous that’s logic.

Honestly I struggle to believe this. I do agree that all babies are different, but I did CIO with both of my kids from 8 months of age and they slept through 7pm-7am by day 3/4. We tried gentler methods but they didn't work for us and CIO truly did save our sanity!

I think they're just as happy as other kids.

So whatever works for you and your family, but CIO does work and I don't believe a few minutes crying over a few nights is damaging for life. Now I know when they cry and night it's because they really need me and I go into them straight away.

Sleep training does not equal cry it out.

I also don’t really believe CIO does what’s being suggested. We do parents (and let’s face it, it’s generally mothers) a massive disservice by promoting the idea that they must martyr themselves for years and put their own physical and mental health aside. It’s bullshit.

“sleep training” – leaving babies alone to cry themselves to sleep – is as helpful as it’s often presented to be by advocates of the practice.

I thought that sleep training was a broader term than this? Seems rather disingenuous.

The article is bollocks and doesn't refer to any new research. I would take it more seriously if they referred to CIO rather than the blanket term "sleep training"

We did the Ferber method which seemed a bit kinder to the baby: by the 3rd night no tears at all. Having him distressed and sad / unable to sleep every night and having us stressed was probably worse for him.

I sleep trained my 9 month old because his sleep was so bad and it was having a huge impact on all our lives. It was just untenable.

I used controlled crying (under the guidance of a sleep consultant) and it was the best thing I did. Within a week we had a different baby and the positive impact that had on our family, and personsl lives, was immense.

Sleep training is not CIO - it really isn’t that black and white, and those that do sleep train have their reasons for it. Sitting in judgement of others helps no one.

I think the whole sleep training debate is so emotive because people who’ve done it don’t want to feel like they’ve not done the best thing for their baby and people who haven’t don’t want to feel like they’re suffering for nothing. It’s a bit like the bf vs formula debate.

The reality is that different things will work for different situations and different children. My DD needs a lot of sleep support and I really don’t think sleep training would help her but her cousin who is the same age has such a different personality and it made a difference for them very quickly as it was more of an encouragement towards something he was already naturally heading towards.

I’m lucky in that I have a lot of support so cope fairly well but if I were on my own with my DD I can easily see myself attempting sleep training out of necessity. Society isn’t set up to support parents very well and judgment of individual parents choices either way isn’t helpful to anyone. Most parents are just doing what they think of best for their children, there’s no one right way that works for everyone.