Confused re feeding

[scg18]

My baby is 7 weeks old and I am formula feeding. He was born at 37 weeks and was a small baby and spent some time on SCBU when born.
We are on the CONI (Care of Next Infant) programme through the hospital after a previous loss and at our first appointment 2 weeks ago the doctor suggested feeding every 4 hours to try and help manage the food intake of the LO (he was taking a bit too much for his weight according to docs). It was hoped this might help his tendancy to have some sickness and he is very grunty and we think he struggles with a bit of wind or reflux type thing.
I was happy to do 4 hour feeds because I like routine and knowledge so it suited me and my anxiety.
The first week seemed ok, I didn't have to keep him going too long when he woke up overnight to get to 4 hours and during the day it was easier to distract and get to 4 hours. Sometimes we wouldn't make it and I'd feed at 3&1/2 hours but that was ok and somehow we'd still fall back into bath and feed c.7pm.
Over the last couple of nights he has been waking up after 3 hours, tonight we had to wake him up at 11pm so he wouldn't miss his 4 hours but now he has woken at 2am crying for food and then only taken 80ml (usually takes c.110-120ml).
I'm so confused about what time to feed him next because everything I read says about getting him up and feeding before 7:30 but if he wakes up at 5am (which will be 3 hours) do I feed him then and then again at 7:30? Or if he goes for 4 hours do I treat 6:30am feed as daytime feed? Then what do I do through the day - try 4 hours again?
I'm waiting to see new HV after moving house but I know they prefer responsive feeding and when I've asked them before they disagree with the doctor.
I'm so confused about what to do and how to feed the baby, I don't want him to feel like I'm depriving him but I don't want to overfeed either.

Sorry for long post, just feeling lost and unsure.

I really don't think you can over feed him! Just feed him when he's hungry for now.

To be clear I mean, do not worry that you're over feeding him, just feed him when he asks for it

Feed responsively
4 hours is ridiculous and not in line with any guidelines
Don't follow advice just because you like it .
There is no way you shouldn't be feeding a 7wo when they need it rather than distracting.

Ps, if they've regained birthweight and are following a line, you don't need to wake them overnight if they're sleeping

Just re-read and it says he was a small baby.Why on earth are you delaying feeding him then???>

4 hours is a very long time to go between feeds for a baby that small. If he was breastfed he would probably be feeding every 1-2 hours. So I would feed him every time he seems hungry.

For context, my 5 month old will only go 3.5 hours between feeds before he gets really hungry, and obviously he is a lot older than your baby.

Congratulations on your baby, OP! I’m sure it’s been a very stressful and anxious time with your previous loss. I agree with the other posters - you should feed your baby on demand when they are this small, and it also sounds like that’s what your mummy instincts are telling you too, so trust yourself and enjoy all those milky snuggles x

If you are paced feeding then and doing responsive feeding then you can’t really over feed a baby.

Personally,I would feed when he wanted it. Seems mad to make a 7 week old wait any length of time to be fed.

Thanks all, just to clarify I absolutely want to do what is right for the baby not for us, but when the doctor said to do 4 hours we thought that was what we should do because he is the doctor and must know best.

I just find it all very difficult to make the decisions and trust my instincts after everything we have gone through to get here, I feel like I am failing my baby all the time and the last thing I want his for him to feel like I don't give him what he wants or needs.

I have been doing more responsive feeding today and waiting for my HV to get in touch and left a message with the doctor's secretary to clarify everything with him.

Thanks for all your help, I appreciate it xx

OP, I promise you that you are not failing your baby - far, far from it - you are working hard to get things right and make sure your precious little one gets the best care, and that speaks volumes about you as a mum. Having a newborn is so tough, and as I said in my last post, I can’t imagine how tougher it is given your past loss, so you did the right thing asking for advice, and I hope it’s helped give you the confidence to follow what your instincts are already telling you. Because, you’re doing great!! x

Neither of mine have gone 4 hours during the day ever with a feed or food so I'd just feed on demand - there's a growth spurt at around 6 weeks as well so they usually want to up their amounts at that stage. Some of them like little and often, some are happier with less frequent but big bottles (or like my DS often and big bottles 🤦)

4 hours seems very long. I would feed on demand personally but if you’re keen on a schedule I wouldn’t go longer than 3 hours or 3 and a half tops. Unless they are sleeping of course.

Just re-read and it says he was a small baby.Why on earth are you delaying feeding him then???>

The OP was advised by a doctor - it sounds like ridiculous advice to me because I’ve had two children but as a first time mum you’d obviously trust their advice.

No, I actually wouldn't @Rosesareyellow
I was advised by GP that I should consider stopping BF if I was going to start SSRIs for PND. Upon a lot of research, including the accepted authority on medication while BF, I decided to continue. But that took a while, during which time my PND worsened. DS was my PFB and will be my only.

No disrespect to Drs but it’s quite unlikely that infant feeding is their specialist subject. The health visitor is likely to be much more knowledgeable, and trust your instincts.

@Harrysmummy246

I was advised by GP that I should consider stopping BF if I was going to start SSRIs for PND. Upon a lot of research, including the accepted authority on medication while BF, I decided to continue.

Surely you can see that most new sleep deprived mums with PND wouldn’t have the energy to conduct an extensive research investigation after being given advice about breastfeeding - it’s great that you did, but have a bit more compassion.

When I say a lot, I mean I read several articles, while also carrying baby and walking the dogs. I was absolutely and most definitely suffering- I barely remember the first six months of my son's life, so, you know what, @Rosesareyellow right back at you on the compassion thing

@ @Harrysmummy246

I’m not sure what there is to throw back at me, I haven’t said anything even remotely unkind relating to your experience. Your experience in turn, as difficult as it may have been, doesn’t mean you can’t be called out for making a comment that intended to make the OP feel foolish and wasn’t remotely helpful in relation to her question.

Op - congratulations 🎊

My LO at that age took way over her what her weight was at this age and fed 2 hourly or 3 hourly. She was on 150mls by like a month old 😂

Now - she hasn't gained much maybe like 2lb since she was 3 months old and at times struggle to get the milk into her.

She drank more when she was that age then she does now 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

My advice is feed is lo is hungry. demand feeding 🤷🏼‍♀️ they will generally level out back their original centile or so.

Hi @Rosesareyellow and @Harrysmummy246 I probably should have made clear but the doctor is a paediatric consultant specialising in infant care, they run the special programme for parents with previous losses to help with additional support and guidance if we need it, and I have to say I definitely need it because my anxiety and grief don't help me see things clearly all the time, that's why I trusted him because it is his specialty. I see him again in 2 weeks for a review and will talk it through again with him. I can see why people would trust a GP as well though, when you are vulnerable and anxious you take any advice flung your way and having the confidence to go against it is very hard, at least in my experience

I have done more responsive feeding today and although it threw bath time off a bit I do think it has been better for my LO. Thank you everyone again for your kindness and help today, it has made me feel less alone xx

All health professionals seem to have their own ideas about how to feed babies for the best We were told to wake up every other hour, day and night, for the first 3 months because health visitor felt he wasn't drinking enough, despite weight being fine and tracking on his line.

My note is that lots of reflux babies prefer little and often, it causes them less pain. Mine didnt drink more than 150ml until he was over 2 years old. Your baby will come to learn how much he needs and when, but until then I'd err on the generous side.