Sleep training 9months - patting etc

[GuruLuru]

So my baby has never slept through. Not uncommon. Last month and a bit it's crazy. How I pine for the single night feed.

She's just coming up to 9months and she needs to be cuddled SO much. last month or so has broken me.

I envision my soul, once a shimmering bubble like entity has fried around the edges and no longer glistens.

My arms and legs may just crisp up and snap off I'm so sleep deprived.

But I digress.

Mamas...did you do the pat to sleep, no picking up. Night night love you buhbye shut door on crying baby technique?

Did it work?
How long did it take?
How long do you let them cry...scream etc for before you pick them up?

I didn't want it to come to this but I think I gotta try something rather than waiting it out. Otherwise I may actually just implode.

Thanks all

You could look up controlled crying, where you leave the room then come back to check them at set intervals. Shush pat only got me so far with both of mine. I ended up doing this. It was effective and didn't involve much crying, in fact basically none with ds, and Dd was never hysterical, it was clear she was settling.

I like your post a lot. I can relate to your description of your soul. With DD1 we did patting and gradually withdrawing at 9 months. Took a few weeks and meant she dropped to 1-2 wake ups from 10+.

Did CC when DD2 was 7mo and she now wakes 1-2 times (now 10mo).

I found sleep training with both of them traumatic. I seem to have stubborn children. I haven’t found it a magic fix to sleeping through or permanent improved sleep. It’s rather a decision I now make to avoid becoming a sleep crutch for either of them. And that’s a constant battle, because they both want me as a crutch. But I’m a lot less sleep deprived and can be a better mum to them during the day. That was important to me.

I must admit I have never found any sleep training any good. So just rolled with it. Ds has just started sleeping through (9.5 months.) But we did have a horrific stage between eight and nine months where I thought I would never sleep again (honestly.)

We are on night 3 of the Ferber technique. Twins - 1 sleeps through to a 4am feed then resettles. 2 was up 4 times a night and took 40 min to settle.

Last night we had two wakes and he settled after a few head strokes (5 min max).

Tonight’s the night to see if he doesn’t need us at all.

Google it and see if you could do it. The first night wasn’t easy; but it’s worth it to get your rest.

Thank you everyone! Last night was appalling. We plan to try Ferber next week but last night just going in to reassure her made her absolutely FURIOUS. Like she was gonna change into the Hulk any moment.

Was actually scary.

We've managed a few times to let her sleep on the bed and we kick the hubby out. Figured if that was the only way to sleep then so be it. But that didn't even work last night. Think teeth have something to do with it but I mean. I MEAN. Beyond.
We're going away today...wish us luck as a few nights away with a all night screaming baby probably won't be the nice relaxing break we hoped haha

Are you breastfeeding? Feeding at every wake up? I found mine slept much better once night weaned.

Yes we did all that stuff, after lots of tears it worked for a week with 1 wake up a night then reverted back to multiple wake ups and hysteria.

We have co slept ever since and it’s the best way for us to all get sleep.

Just read your latest post. Oh yes, I remember the absolute rage on ours when we attempted to “reassure him”

Wasn’t worth the tears and honestly I felt awful considering all he wanted was to be close to us. My partner always pointed out how unnatural it is that we stick our babies in separate rooms to us when other mammals sleep with their young and we obviously did so too historically.

Each to their own of course but mine is now 19 months and we still co sleep. No sleeping right now though, we are all up at 2 AM thanks to teething or some bug

We did patting and singing and night weaning at 12 months and it helped a lot, she didn't sleep through but it was sooo much better. We employed a night nanny/sleep consultant to come out and help for a few nights which was expensive but worth it imo.

Unfortunately baby has since been ill and teething at the same time and it's all gone to shit again 😭 but I'm planning to start again tonight and hoping it'll be a bit easier this time 🤞🤞🤞

We did gradual retreat over ten nights and it was life changing. Went from five wake ups nightly down to one on night one. Longest she cried was 35 mins on night one and it didn't feel so bad because we were in there reassuring her. Though actually the crying got worse around the middle and our sleep consultant suggested (and in hindsight I agree) that she might have done better if we had got to just straight out leaving the room sooner (I think she found it frustrating to have us in there but not doing much and was crying AT us IYSWIM). I say all this only to make the point that different methods work for different babies, if Ferber is driving her nuts you might be better off leaving her for longer periods but you also have to find a method you're ok with.

But yeah, life changing. And she remains the same happy, secure, confident baby she was before we did it.

We did gradual retreat with ours. Really effective and although there was some crying I never left them to cry. We bought the book 'teach your child to sleep' at 9 months as the health visitor recommended it. Really straightforward and practical guide to lots of sleep training strategies.

I did my own adapted version of the Ferber method with my 7mo. He woke every 2-3 hours and it was driving me bonkers.

I thought leaving the baby there for increasing intervals too much for my DS, I know he would have been hysterical if I left him crying for 15 mins.

So I just came in every 2 mins, didn't do any increasing intervals. It worked within 2 nights. He learned how to put himself back to sleep. Even now, I see him wake up fully at night, toss and turn, then back to bed.

Well! So far so good with the Ferber. We went from her sleeping max 2 hours then refusing to sleep unless on me or my husband... To up once in the night for ten mins and back to sleep. Started this Sunday night .

Absolutely broke my heart hearing her sob the first hour then she went to sleep and she's been pretty amazing since!

Didn't work with naps in day yet but it's not that often I'm home in days anyway so whatever.

I feel like a new woman after some sleepNn

Glad it worked out for you @GuruLuru!

@GuruLuru How did it go in the end? I am considering using Ferber on my baby, my soul is about to whither away too.