Possessed toddler tantrum at drop-off - could just cry

[DandellionDaydream]

I really could just cry. My DS is 2 and a half and for the past few weeks has just been screaming his head off when I drop him at nursery. He's been going there since he was 9 months so he is used to it, just he seems to go through phases or strolling in happily followed by a few weeks of crying! They reassure me he stops the minute he gets in, but honestly I'm finding it so hard. I'm pretty good at reassuring him, handing him over and walking away, but wow is it tough. This morning he went into full on kicking screaming rolling on the floor tantrum. There were so many other parent there with delightful quiet children giving them a kiss and running in. I feel like other parents will judge me and think I'm terrible. Will they??

He's always been such a good sleeper but the past 2 weeks he's been getting up non-stop throughout the night shouting for me. After the 6th time of getting up I end up just putting him in my bed so I can get some sleep. What is happening?!!!

I'm so tired and on the verge of tears!

2.5 DD here and she’s going through the sleep regression and demonic possession too; not at drop-off thankfully but pick-up and entirely at random. I’ve increased the wine in the big shop order.

I had this. I used to ring pre school after I got home and they would tell me what my DD was doing. It was never sat in a corner crying!

@burritofan honestly just hearing one other person say that has massively lifted my spirits. I just feel like it's always my child! Wine it is then!

Oh, and once she grabbed my hair as I was trying to leave. So that was embarrassing and painful. Then I felt awful for leaving her there. But she was fine once I had gone.

Mine does this when I drop him off. With Dad he's happy as can be, giving a high five and running into the room. Honestly think he just knows how to play me!

Most kids go through a phase of doing this. The others parents won’t be judging you, because they’ve almost certainly been there themselves! Great news that he enjoys himself once he goes in, my only advice would be don’t prolong the process; hand him over and get out of there. But I also do agree with PP re increase the wine shop!

@Rollergirl1980 that did make me laugh, thank you! He nearly pulled my top down too far earlier and my boob nearly fell out. I know no parent has it easy, but the irrational part of me thinks my child is a million times more difficult and everyone will see me approach the nursery and think "ah, there's that inexperienced mother with the demon child"

Ds is now 16 BUT we had 18 long months of day care drop off dramas….

Hanging on around my ankles … kicking his legs etc.

Supposedly he would jump up and brush himself off and happily play once I was out of sight.

He does have some anxiety issues now and does not like change or to be left alone at home. So I think this is just the way he is and it showed as a toddler.

I also worried about what people thought but you can be sure most parents are only thinking «poor mum - glad mine is not doing it today».

Hang on in there - it will pass

According to my mum, this was me as a toddler so I'm assuming I will get my cummupence in time!
In the end (I think I was over three so slightly older to reason with) apparently the nursery sat me down and told me I needed to stop as it was upsetting my daddy (who dropped me off) and making him very sad.
Apparently it really helped. Didn't stop it totally but stopped it being a daily occurrence.

I guarantee you that the parents of the little angels who run in with a goodbye kiss will fully recognise this behaviour, it just happens at a different time of day in their house. All they'll be doing is looking at you with sympathy and steeling themselves for the battle at pickup, bath and bed. (I may speak with some experience.)

Thank you everyone, honestly you've all really helped. Needed to hear this today!

Yes very common! Also for sleep, just do what works for you.

He's obviously going through an unsettled stage or perhaps a little off colour. If you don't sleep well with him in your bed you can always try a spare mattress on the floor.

Anything that maximises your sleep and his emotional comfort.

I live opposite a nursery and I know the hour they arrive every day by the screaming and crying it's obviously distressing for you to see and have to just leave them there but as others have said, it's so normal!

I’m a primary school teacher and whenever I walk through the reception class at drop off I see children crying at drop off….when I walk back though a few minutes later with my photocopying those same children are happily playing.

If you think that’s bad DD was in such a rage she threw a stone at a kid walking behind her to nursery a couple of months ago. DP was taking her and he remains mortified whenever he sees the girl’s dad. DD thankfully missed and the dad was very nice about but horrific!

Getting upset at drop off is really common at this age. DD was teary a little while ago and books helped us work through it - I Am So Brave is lovely and has a bit about a baby getting upset when their mummy drops them off at nursery. And DD loves the “mummy always comes back” line in Owl Babies, we say that a lot.

I guarantee you that the parents of the little angels who run in with a goodbye kiss will fully recognise this behaviour, it just happens at a different time of day in their house. All they'll be doing is looking at you with sympathy and steeling themselves for the battle at pickup, bath and bed. (I may speak with some experience

^ THIS

my boy loves going into nursery but stomps his feet over plenty of other things in the day!

My 2.5 year old just came out of a phase of this - lasted maybe 6 weeks. He stopped crying about 3 seconds after I left each day. A friend’s 2.5 year old has just started the same. It’s definitely a phase!

I've had it too. I would call 10 mins later to find out they were having a ball within minutes of me leaving.

The sleep issues will be exacerbating it, toddlers do not cope well tired!

I had this once or twice, I told my toddler she had to go in, but if after snack time she was still so sad she wanted to come home, she could. And told the staff. She obviously was fine after 5 mins and I never got the call.

Honestly it’ll pass. My daughter did this for a bit then one day I turned up and she started screaming she didn’t want to go home. That was embarrassing

DS2 cried every time he was dropped at nursery for 6 months. It was horrific. The worst was the day I started crying too, as FIL had just died.

Honestly, most other parents will be just glad it's not their kid, and not judging you at all.

My son was exactly the same at the same age. I found taking him in earlier helped.

@burritofan

2.5 DD here and she’s going through the sleep regression and demonic possession too; not at drop-off thankfully but pick-up and entirely at random. I’ve increased the wine in the big shop order.

This is the best advice