18 Month wont eat - Always been a fussy eater

[Itonlymakesyoustronger]

Hi All,

I am so desperate right now and feel like a failure

MY LO is 18 months and has always been a fussy eater. weaned her at 6 months and meal times and snack times have always been stressful. But recently it has got so bad she will point blank refused everything we offer so will go days without actually eating a meal.

I offer her breakfast, somedays she will have some others she will not have any. then comes lunch time and that's the hardest, She will refuse Lunch & Dinner - I've tried letting her feed herself, me feeding her, sitting with her, everyone sitting together, giving her attention when she does eat something, not giving attention when she doesn't eat or throws or spits things out.

Whether she eats her meals or not regardless I always offer her dessert - yoghurt or fruit smoothie. But she still doesn't eat.

She has breastmilk once a day only before nap time but other than that she doesn't have anything else, I may offer her a small snack in-between meals somedays she has it other days she wont.

I am truly at wits end and really struggling, shes so tiny too only 2nd percentile.

Please please help

Bump

I came here to basically write the same thing. Can’t really help as I’m exactly in the same boat. My girl is nearly 18 months old and will only eat:
Bread things
Yoghurt
Fruit pouch
Cereal

That’s pretty much it. She won’t have any meals.

Interestingly she eats fine at nursery and to be honest I’m relieved because those 3 days a week she goes is probably what keeps her from dropping the centile lines. Like you I have tried everything. No snacks, snacks etc.

Big little feelings on Instagram have a section about this. You basically put food down and don’t make a fuss. My 18m old categorically will not eat if I acknowledge him when eating some days - on those days I have to put the food down and go off to the other side of the room and do something else. Sounds weird but it works.

However, have you ruled out other issues? Is it certain tastes or textures they do or do not like? Have you asked HV for advice?

That sounds very stressful, have you spoken to your GP? Could she be teething? Could you try topping her up with a bottle of formula? Hope things get easier soon. If it's any consolation my DD was extremely fussy at that age (I think teething was the culprit) and now she's nearly 2 is eating a lot more

Its so hard because she's got dairy egg and soya allergy too. When she hasn't had a good day of food, I feel inclined to give her breastmilk.

I just cant stop stressing over it, I know it will get easier in the future but Its so hard to try and get her to even try anything let alone eat it.

@CelloYouveGotABass I think I may do that. giver her her plate of food and do something else in the other ide of the room. Does it work strightaway or does it take lots of trials? She will pick will normally pick food up and mash it in her hands and throw it on the floor

This was me afew month ago.
Nursery was a major changing point for us, he would eat everything there but not for me at home.
I went to my HV for advise and she said;
Feed him what your eating with a little bit of what you know he likes.

Put the plate down, don't make a fuss, don't encourage just leave him to it.
If he doesn't eat it, take it away once done, if he eats it don't go OTT praising just say good boy well done.
It's worked.
It won't happen over night so just keep at it and they'll get there.

@RoseGoldGlasses - Great I will give that a go.

In the mean time shall I avoid snacks in between meals and just encourage meals?

Out of interest - if you were to offer her an I cream / chocolate / biscuit / crisps eyc - would she take it and eat it?

Is it food per se?
Or healthy food specifically?

Did her allergies give her discomfort fairly recently? Maybe she's come to associate eating at home with that? Does she eat better at another house or picnics etc?

[quote Itonlymakesyoustronger]@RoseGoldGlasses - Great I will give that a go.

In the mean time shall I avoid snacks in between meals and just encourage meals?[/quote]
No I still kept him snacks.
Sometimes I wouldn't offer as much as I normally would but it didn't make a difference I found. Still would eat or not touch it.

I think you need a referral to a paediatric dietitian.

I definitely wouldn’t restrict breastfeeding at this point as it may be one of the only calories sources that your little one is getting.

The above suggestions are good, feed baby what you’re eating, start out with a small amount on the plate as to no overwhelm, absolutely no pressure just let her explore, have a pre meal/ snack routine ie wash hands it’s snack time let’s sit down, if there are safe foods that you know she’ll eat try to include them with the meal doesnt matter if it’s a weird combo like curry and toast but in time she might become more adventurous.

That’s what I’d do for right now, the things in your control right now.

But I’d be pushing for a referral to a paediatric dietitian. If you can afford it, pay private we saw one for my little girl and it was about £200 but it was money well spent.

Has your little always been 2nd centile on the charts? X

You guys are god sent honestly! Really appreciate all your advices.

@Nc4post99 Yes she was born 2nd percentile and has always maintain the 2nd percentile, she's very petite but so am I. I just worry she's not eating food so how will she cope. But she's not tired, or lacking in energy etc. Just does not eat.

I think I'm going to book her into see a paediatric dietitian

@Itonlymakesyoustronger

You guys are god sent honestly! Really appreciate all your advices.

@Nc4post99 Yes she was born 2nd percentile and has always maintain the 2nd percentile, she's very petite but so am I. I just worry she's not eating food so how will she cope. But she's not tired, or lacking in energy etc. Just does not eat.

I think I'm going to book her into see a paediatric dietitian

She may well be getting all she needs if she is tracking the same centile. Might be case of small girl, small appetite, as kids are really good at regulating what they need.

We saw one for my girl who was 2nd centile at birth and then moved to 25th and then fell to half way between 9/25 due to awful advice from the HV, and she said that it’s more helpful to look at what a toddler eats over a week rather than a day as their appetites vary wildly by day.

Is it the case that your girl just doesn’t eat at all? Or maybe she doesn’t eat much?

Forgot to mention dietitian said to us to keep meal times to 15/20 mins max as they have v short attention spans at this age.

Was she iugr? Xx

@Itonlymakesyoustronger some days it works, some days it doesn’t!

I also put out dessert at the same time as the meal - according to big little feelings, this puts it on level pegging with the main meal and stops it being this special event.
This works wonders with my DS. Though last night I did have to turn away when he dipped waffle in strawberry yogurt 🤢

@Nc4post99 No not IGUR, infact full term baby. She has no interest in food whatsoever, we have a little nephew who we have mot evenings, he will scoff his food down, but she is not the slightest interested in food. she will happily play for hours on hours without eating or needing to eat.

@CelloYouveGotABas I may consider doing that.

How big are the portion sizes you give? so rather then worry on a day to day basis but keep an eye on her weekly intake

Quick question quys - She hates her high chair I mean screams and cries and is hysterical, would be it wiser to buy her a small table and chair, which she can sit on and I can server her her meal? we have tried the highchair at the dinner table with us but my goodness she absolutely hates its!

She was born 2nd centile though yeah? So sga?
My daughter was too, think the little ones have notoriously small appetites. Is she 2nd centile for length too? X

I’d agree with monitoring over a week. Give smaller portions, but if she asks for more I would give it.

Can you try her just sat at the table with a booster seat? Mine makes a hell of a mess but on no high chair days I don’t have the fight in me haha

@Nc4post99 yes she was 5lb when born and has just kept up with the 2nd percentile, for both weight and height.

@CelloYouveGotABass great will do that - I have tried a booster seat but where she cries and rocks back and forth shaking her head it becomes hazardous, so I'm thinking if we get her a tiny wheeny table and chair and we can ideally sit next to her (although we would be sitting on the floor - not sure how DH will fit around the table ) that way if she wonders of she can but we can continue eating and not giving her that much attention and she can keep popping upto the table as and when she wants but only keep the food their for a max 20-25 mins?

I could honestly hug you guys! so relieved and thankful for the support!!

Just wanted to say that walking away was the only thing that worked for us. Tried eating together, sharing food etc, didn’t help. Now I put the Food down, I walk away and busy myself with kitchen jobs and she eventually started eating.

My son has been exactly the same. He's almost 2.5 now and still a fussy eater. We've been on the waiting list to see a dietician for 12 weeks now and been advised it's week 12 of a 43 week waiting list.

He's getting a bit better. He'll try things at nursery so on those days I worry less about consumption at home, but it's still tough.

He will eat:

Porridge
Toast
Rice
Beans
Potato cakes
Crumpets
Crackers
Breadsticks
Beef
Chicken nuggets
Fish fingers
Pizza
Yogurts

That's about it. That list is twice as long as it was earlier this year. I can't say we're exactly thrilled about him having things like chicken nuggets and fish fingers but honestly, when you've watched your child go a week without eating more than a slice of toast, it's an absolute pleasure to see them eat fish fingers.

It's a long road, OP, but I hope it starts to get easier for you. For us, we've chosen the route of a fed child is best, so we'll always make sure one meal a day is something we know he'll eat, even though it's just fish fingers or nuggets. And he'll always have porridge for breakfast. With other meals, we let him explore with ours. I don't think there's any right or wrong way, but I hope she gets better with it whatever route you take ❤️

I haven’t experienced my toddler eating nothing but my 2.5 year old has huge issues with texture. The only carb he’ll eat is bread and no meat or veg (except frozen peas) unless blended.

I agree with others that walking away helps. Another thing I started doing with him around 18 months was offering snack plates as meals. So for breakfast I would do a sectioned plate with maybe some dry cereal, different fruits, yogurt etc and give a small amount of each so they can pick and choose.
For lunch I would do a meat/veg/cracker/hummus/fruit plate and similar for dinner. Really helped as long as I included one or two favourite foods.

Would she drink a smoothie? And definitely still offer snacks and let her pick what snack she wants.

My LO can be very fussy. For example, I know for breakfast 99 percent of the time he will point blank refuse to eat. I reckon the fact that he breastfeeds a lot during the night has something to do with it. Does your little one still have night feeds? I know reverse cycling is common in breastfed babies. My LOVwas born on 2nd centile and pretty much stayed there (have checked on months because I used to obsess over it and weigh him daily ) which is why I think I stress more than a should when he doesn’t eat his food.

I know it’s bad but if I make him porridge and mix a fruit purée in there sit him on my lap informé of télétubbies he’ll let me feed him a good amount. Same thing happened today, I gave him some pizza and cucumber. He wouldn’t touch it but as soon as I put the tv on and handy him a piece he started eating. I know it’s not good habits but I’m hoping he’ll grow out of it as he becomes more into food

Excuse all the typos !

@TokenGinger Thank you - I agree a fed baby makes the parents so much happier - I would be happy for her to eat fish fingers and chicken nuggets too but she just wont touch it.

@Latinorapida Will your LO eat only when the telly is on? as it distracts him from the food?

if only I could refuse food like the way my LO does, id happily loose a few kilos of weight myself . On a serious note, my LO doesn't actually loose weight, nor does she look deprived or lacking in energy. She gets breastfeed once during the day and once before bedtime and if she wakes in the middle of the night then once then. So not enough to keep her full or replace her other meal during the day as they don't fall around the same time