When does the absolute exhaustion end?

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

2 DCs, just turned 3 and about to be 1.
I'm out of my tree tired and just so done. The 3 year old needs constant supervision. I gave him a drink of water this morning with a lid on and put a wash on. Come back to find he's shaken it all over his clothes and the sofa. Last week he washed his hands in the toilet. He never just plays. He doesn't stop talking or repeating things or the same questions over and over again. The little one wakes several times a night still. Mealtimes are exhausting. I'm constantly trying to keep the house tidy.

I'm so tired. I'm so tired of struggling to do anything while they are around. At mealtimes DH can't even manage a conversation.

The emotional meltdowns. The taking 10 minutes to walk up the stairs. The fight to clean teeth twice a day.

I just want to run away.

When they go to school things will be easier, but I don’t think it ever really ends till they grow up as there is problems at all stages, I’m a lone parent to 4 and it’s still exhausting even though they are 10 9 7 and 4. Get your DH to do more? How much does he do with them?

Hi, so sorry you are feeling like this. It's so hard some days it, it really is. I have an almost 4 year old and a 21 month old so slightly older than yours but I've been there. I found it really hard with my 3 year old as soon as turned 3, everything was a battle and winter lockdowns added to it all.
Do you have plans for him to use any funded preschool/nursery hours? I think that really helps, it did it my case.
Can you have some time to yourself, even just half an hour or an hour straight after tea where you either pop out by yourself or go upstairs where you can't be bothered by anyone?
I hear you on the lack of a full night, it is draining. No answers on that front as my youngest still wakes in the night and both wake early for the day.
Get the DC to try to help you with any tidying, wiping surfaces down etc, sometimes they think it is funny and they enjoy helping.
Put the TV on and don't feel guilty about using it so you can get something done or have a drink.
You need to feel as good as you can to care for your children. Make sure you eat well and take vitamins and look after yourself too.
I hope you feel better soon.

I’m really sorry you feel this way and I understand you fully. I have the loveliest 2,5 year old who is my life but i completely understand what you said. My son goes to creche full time and I admit if he there was no creche me and DH would end up in the mental institution or worse… we both love our son more than life itself but weekends are so tough! It’s non stop running after him, the house looks like a battle field, mess and dirt everywhere. He runs us absolutely wild! There is absolutely nothing wrong in admiring this! I’m sure you are the best mum you can be, these little creatures are tough/non stop work. I cherish Mondays now more than ever:) Monday=quiet, clean house/ warm coffee and a normal conversation with DH. Do you have creche/preschool that he can go to even part time? we are having a boy number 2 due next week so I’ll be in your boat soon! We can do it!!!:)

Eh, mine turned 5 and is still so demanding and difficult. Still waiting for it to get easier…

Also I’m glad that you admit to feeling the way you feel, I think more people should admit it, there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids, we love them and they are our world but it’s so so so tough! Tougher than I thought! I suppose it does depends on a child too, I have a friend who has a 3 year old and she doesn’t understand me at all. Her son just sits in the corner and plays, or sits quietly at the table with adults for 2 hours! Mine is jumping off the walls/couches, throws all his toys around/takes off his clothes and demands different clothes/stacks all his shoes on top of dinner table/flys on his scooter through the house/demands treats all the time/jumps on dad like a monkey, you name it :) so it all depends I guess on a child and maybe not everyone will understand you :(

Do you work? When mine were one and three they were in nursery three days a week while DH and I worked four days each and it saved my sanity. I personally would gently sleep train a one year old who is still waking that much. It’s no good for them or their family. But of course that’s up to you. Everything becomes easier once you’re at least getting some sleep.

I do work, 3 days a week. Problem is childcare is only term time so I'm either at work or looking after children. I never feel like I get any time just to try and get through tasks.

I'd love to night wean her but she will cry for hours with DH. I don't have it in me. One of her has damaged my nipple so when she feeds at night it's absolute agony.

She's already woken twice tonight. Oh I'm just so tired of explaining and discussing and repeating. It's so hard.

Yes it gets easier. It is hard with a small age gap. But when they are 4 and 6 they should be playing together occasionally while you finally have a cup of tea. Maybe even 3 and 5 depending on temperament. And as others said, when one starts school it gets easier in a way because of the routine and them each having their own "thing" and time.

I only have one but they have just turned four and honestly he's just started to contendly entertain himself for long enough to ha e a cup of tea. He's matured alot and I can see glimmers of light!! Hopefully not so long and it will become easier with the older one and the younger one will start sleeping better (totally get the sleeping thing mine didn sleep through until he was 3.5! Would scream and scream so training not an option)

I've lost count of the number of times I fantasised about packing a bag and running away. Just to get away from my 3 year old's endless 'but why mummy' about absolutely every single thing I say, every single hour of every single day. Or the meltdowns. Or the interrupting when you're trying to have the only 5 minutes of adult conversation you're likely to have in day.

He was a dream as a 2yr old, and I used to think I'd got lucky and skipped the terrible twos, but then a was stuck with a threenager instead, so I feel your pain.
Although he's always lovely to be around when I've had a great sleep the night before, so probably nothing to do with him after all?!

Nearly 4 now and I see light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there, it definitely gets easier.

I have 7 year old twins and a 10 year old. Categorically a ton easier than when they were little and has been for a good while. Hang in there. As much self-care and help as you can lay your hands on. You will feel human again. to you

I totally get you - I have a 3 and 1 year old and the January lockdown when I was on mat leave was TOUGH. The memory of the pain of getting them out of the house to stand in a cold playground every day (otherwise they'd just trash the house/scream at me all day and I'd lose my mind) will be burned into me for a long time. What's made it easier for me is a. Them getting older (nearly 4 year old has chilled out a LOT recently and will now sit and draw/colour for 20 mins or so) and b. going back to work so every day isn't the same druggery. They are pretty good at going to bed so come 7pm I know I have my evening to either relax or get on with stuff.

Keep going - I'm sure you know it will get easier in time but it is bloody hard especially on no sleep!!