Am I under feeding my 2 year old? Worried af

[Nc4post99]

Hi,

So DD is 2 and a wee slip of a girl. Little bit of a backstory for her, measured small in pregnancy so was induced at 37 weeks and weighed 5lbs- 1st centile weight and 5th length. Bad tongue tie resolved at 3 months. At 6 months 9th centile all around, except head at 25th. At 10months, just under 25th for length and weight head just above- she ate well at that point. At one year check Real tough time from HVs about her size (they wanted her bigger) and breastfeeding, told to force feed her which led her to have quite a bad food aversion. She fell a centile and she’s never recovered. We paid to see a private paediatric dietitian ( looked at her diet and observed her eat) and private paed who weren’t concerned about Dd but were infuriated at the HV suggestions.

Now at 2 she’s still in 12/18 clothes and just looks so small compared to her peers, a lot of people comment on how tiny she is and how they think she’s 1. She’s got bundles of energy and is quite developmentally advanced for her age (3/4 word sentences).

We have her 2 year check coming up and whilst milestones don’t concern me, I’m worried about the comments on her size. She’s unwell constantly (colds, coughs, the runs etc) so GP requested a full blood culture to check all is ok there so we’ll get the results if she’s deficient in anything this week but I just wanted to check that her daily diet looks ok or if we’re under feeding her.
We do 3 meals and 3 snacks a day, nursery have no concerns of how she eats. She isn’t breastfed anymore but has at least 10oz of cows milk in the day+ 2 petite filous yogurts + portion of cheese. She has a large cup of oat milk before bed (too much dairy can cause anemia apparently)

This was yesterday;

Breakfast- bowl of cereal -1 weetabix (but we alternate rice crispies, coco pops for a treat, shredded wheat etc) with about 3oz of blue top milk and half a medium banana ( the bowl is one of those blue munchkin adhesive ones)
Snack - slice of buttered malt loaf with a cup of blue top milk
Lunch- 3/4 slice of buttered toast with a scrambled egg (scrambled in butter) veggie sticks (hummus on the side but she left that) half a large apple and a petite filous.
Snack- cheese and crackers (3 circular crackers, you know the kind) with some cheese about the size of 2 index fingers. Small cup of milk.
Snack 2: box of raisins and 2 squares of dairy milk (doesn’t normally have a lot of chocolate but we went to a park where there was a fair so it was a treat, this also isn’t typical but we fed the ducks at the park and she ate one of the hot dog buns we’d bought for the ducks lol, she normally wouldn’t have that much for a second snack)
Dinner : nachos (dw not Doritos, I made the ‘chips’ from white tortillas that I sliced, spritzed with oil and baked. Topped the chips with tomato salsa, then veggies, then cheese and some shredded chicken from the day before and then more cheese) she probably ate about half a tortillas worth (just a normal
Size one from asda) with toppings. She then had some grapes about 5 and another petite filous
Bed-5oz of oat milk

Does this look ok to you? If not please tell me. Some days she eats really well but others not so much, not full on refusal anymore (thank god) but just smaller quantities.

I guess I’m just after a bit of reassurance if this looks ok or if actually I’ve been under feeding her.
Also any sort of ‘encouraging’ her to eat more leads her to dig her heels in and refuse. Lately we’ve been letting her ‘cook’ ie assemble things like the nachos and she’s taken a real interest in it but it’s not helped up the quantities xx

How much does she weigh OP? My DD is just 2 in 12-18months, 0.04 centile… eats like a horse at nursery , more picky at home… she’s just small. My DS was the same … I’m surprised the HV is so involved, we’ve not had physical contact since she was 6weeks old, 9 month check was Covid and nothing happened. 2 year check nursery have done.
Other than chucking her on our scales no ones every actually monitored her weight

I think @toomuchfaster I’m worried a bit because she fell from 25th to 9th at a year and despite her eating picking up again, she’s fallen below the 9th now. Just wanted a little reassurance from other parents that her food sounds reasonable.

No @DameAlyson blue top milk is full fat milk/ whole milk, Red is skim from the supermarket. I think when I was growing up blue was skim but that was from a local milk man 🤷‍♀️

I think it looks OK. If I'm being picky I would say it's quite a lot of dairy, lots of milk, lots of cheese, lots of petit filous. As pp said they are rubbish, something like 6 spoons of sugar per pot I think?! Don't quote me on that but I remember being horrified! She might eat more of you reduce her milk, just swap for water in the day. Beans or pulses would be good for non dairy protein. Cereal doesn't do much for anyone, porridge or eggy bread or peanut butter on toast are better. But I don't think you need to worry myself.

@DameAlyson

Blue is full fat

Green is Semi

Red is skimmed

@Oh9autumn She got weighed by the paed at 22 months and 3 weeks and she was 9.88kg and 81cm. The letter we got from the HV said we needed to weigh her and do her height/ length if under 2 before the appointment which is the day before she turns 2. Weighed her today and she was 9.7 and one weight was even 9.6 which looks like she’s lost weight but DH thinks it was down to the scales because she’s been eating like the sample days above for ages. Length she was 82.5 I think, this was lying down, she wouldn’t stand up properly to do her height x

I think its alot of dairy too!

Alot of milk there, as well as milk before bed

The milk can be very filling.

Can you do milk on cereal and in morning and at night only?

I would only give 1 yogurt a day max

Can she have more meat products?

Does she finish her plate completely or leave some ?

@Nc4post99 she is very similar to my DD , she is 2 yrs 3 weeks - 9.8kg …..interesting that your Hv do weight and height for 2 year checks…. In our area the 2 year check has been scrapped by the HV if the child is in nursery…. Safe to say nursery haven’t and done weigh her!

Honestly I think what she is eating is fine, my dd has a cold constantly… thanks nursery… she runs temps of 41.2 when she gets poorly…. Q Covid tests each time… thanks Covid!

@Indecisivelurcher

I think it looks OK. If I'm being picky I would say it's quite a lot of dairy, lots of milk, lots of cheese, lots of petit filous. As pp said they are rubbish, something like 6 spoons of sugar per pot I think?! Don't quote me on that but I remember being horrified! She might eat more of you reduce her milk, just swap for water in the day. Beans or pulses would be good for non dairy protein. Cereal doesn't do much for anyone, porridge or eggy bread or peanut butter on toast are better. But I don't think you need to worry myself.

I never knew there were so crappy. We’ll swap her out to plain fromage frais or Greek yog from now on for sure.

We can cut out her morning milk, they do morning and afternoon milk at nursery so I was just copying them and she used to love breastfeeding (dried up in pregnancy). She loves cheese though so I’m hesitant to cut that down for her because it’s quite high cal.

She’s a bit iffy with pulses, like baked beans we have to do half beans and half hoops. She used to really enjoy daal and rice was our Saturday night dinner for ages (different kinds of daal) but Shes just totally gone off it and chucks it on the floor 🤷‍♀️ She likes edamame though, i put them in a stir fry and she liked them.

Also for an accurate weight I’d weigh her every day for a week or so…. As weight can fluctuate and then take the average

Has anyone of them mentioned giving her more foods with fats. I knew someone that had a child who was a slip of thing, HV and doctors suggested a higher fat diet

Also be wary of dried fruit. It gives a short term energy boost and easily catches on teeth , causing decay.

I think it sounds fine to be honest. If you're quite small yourself, it could just be that she's always going to be a little dot. DD is the same, she's nearly 2 and fits comfortably in 12-18 month clothes still, but me and DP are both quite small so wouldn't really expect anything else. DP could eat the whole contents of a supermarket and still never put on weight.

Please don't worry OP. My DD2 is tiny. She's 2.5 and still wears 18-24m clothes.

My DD has a healthy appetite and eats loads so I have no concerns. Sounds like your DD is also a healthy eater. Some children are just petite!

@WaterAndRichTea

I think its alot of dairy too!

Alot of milk there, as well as milk before bed

The milk can be very filling.

Can you do milk on cereal and in morning and at night only?

I would only give 1 yogurt a day max

Can she have more meat products?

Does she finish her plate completely or leave some ?

@WaterAndRichTea I think we can drop her morning snack milk. Nhs website says 12oz of milk a day.

We’ll definitely bin off the petite filous and swap her to plain Greek yog. We just used it to beef out her lunch a bit.

We have meat typically once a day, lunch protein is fish (salmon or tuna, sometimes fishfinger but she’s not too fond of them) or eggs or beans or cheese.

Normally she leaves some occasionally she’ll finish her plate and then we give her a bit more, more often it tends to go flying 😂

My son was born on the 50th and droped to the 2nd where he remains to this day! He is as skinny as a twig. He's 5 and weights about as much as his 2 year old brother

No HCP has ever been worried, he was under the dietitian for a while (allergies) who said someone has to be smal and as long as they are active and healthy it's no problem

What's her height? My son's 9th for height, and again dietitian said a difference.of one centile height/ weight is fine

I know it's a nightmare when you're worried but you can't make her eat more than she wants.
My 2yo (2 in August) is also tiny, he's only just coming out of 12-18m clothes which I was a bit panicky about but just figure I'm still feeding him, give him plenty of food throughout the day, and I cannot make him eat more!
I could of course only feed him foods he loves but need balance so unless I'm only feeding him chocolate and yoghurt he's going to remain a bit small.

It has been a bit of a shock because my elder DD was always huge, eating well and chunky, always ahead of clothing ranges etc and to some extent I worried I was feeding her too much! She's now 6 and a very healthy shape - still very tall and in 7-8 clothing.

Some children have to be statistical outliers, some will be smaller and taller than others. Try not to fret and keep offering ranges of healthy food.

I think it's like she is just petite! Some DC need to be on the petite side.

One of mine was born around the 95th and by a year old was 25th for weight and 75th for height where she stayed until her mid teens, she's still on the lighter side even now.

My DD was 2 in August, an old lady in a shop told me she was 'very sturdy' today and she's between ages 2-3 & 3-4 in clothes just now because she's tall for her age....if she ate half of what your DD does in a day I'd be pleased.

She's also constantly Ill at the moment, 2 weeks ago there was an S&D bug that took out half the nursery and staff, just as we got over that we've now got colds and I've no doubt there will be something else in a week or 2. We got to a toddler class on Fridays, last week 20 parents with kids, this week it was 3 of us.

So I'd say it's all totally normal to be honest. Maybe add some extra nut butters to toast/Weetabix and cheese as a side etc where you can to build calories but sounds like she's eating a decent and varied amount.

My girl was 2 in July and is still in 9/12-12/18. She's tiny but a force. I'm not a bit worried because she eats when she wants and plenty of it, but shes always active and can chat away with me no problem. You can see her brain working away

I think it sounds fine. Sounds like she eats really well tbh.

If you posted her diet without your concerns I would say that she eats a lot for her age. I really wouldn't worry

@1990b

Has anyone of them mentioned giving her more foods with fats. I knew someone that had a child who was a slip of thing, HV and doctors suggested a higher fat diet

I’ve heard conflicting advice on this as fat can be quite satisfying. So if we have a roast chicken we give her the dark meat and we always add some extra butter to her veg and her starches and a drizzle more oil in her hummus. But I don’t know what else I could do? X

@Bobojangles she’s the same centile for height and weight roughly, she’s around 82.4/5 cm in length she wouldn’t stand still to do her height, i she was just flopping around, bending her knees, standing on one leg etc.

For those interested - theres about 3 tsps sugar per big pot of petit filous.

Im going to switch now too

I've got 3dc and my advice is to sack off the HV. The checks aren't mandatory.

Everything you're saying suggests that your dd is on the smaller end of the spectrum but is otherwise totally fine.

For reference my DC were 25th, 9th (dropped to the one below later) and 75th centiles. Ds2 is 3.5yrs and still fits 2-3yr clothing better than 3-4. The nature of centiles is that someone has to be at the top/bottom.

Your HV is stressing you out and probably causing you to be overly concerned with DD's eating which she is more than likely picking up on.

You need to relax about it, if that means telling the HV you don't need their services then do so.