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Worried about 10 week old’s breastfeeding habits…

33 replies

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 12:12

My DS is 10 weeks old (7 weeks corrected) and has been feeding so much this last week. My understanding was that cluster feeding only lasted a few days, but maybe I’m wrong? At the start of the week three evenings in a row he was feeding from around 4/5pm until 10/11pm near enough none stop. Only way I got him to stop fir a bit was to distract him with a bath or similar. This seemed to improve for a few nights, until Friday evening when he spent a full 2 hours on one boob. I believe it was Thursday evening when he was also being very fussy while feeding, constantly latching on and off and crying. Yesterday we had the latching on and off issue near enough all day. Today he started wanting to feed every hour from 3am, and then had wanted to feed almost constantly since 9am.

Does this sound normal?! He does have a mild tongue tie which we are getting looked at on Wednesday. Before 6 weeks we had no issues with feeding at all, then around 6 weeks this fussing at the breast started on and off, and from 9-10 weeks (this week just gone) he’s been having the epic feeding sessions as per above. I’m finding this really tough as he is exclusively breast fed x

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MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 12:21

*nonstop

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AperolWhore · 19/09/2021 13:18

My daughter did this around the same age and we had a terrible time breastfeeding, I went to see a cranial osteopath who diagnosed my daughter with lock jaw, two sessions and she was fixed, It honestly felt like a miracle!

She just wasn’t able to get enough milk out due to not being able to open her mouth wide enough, we had even been to the tongue tie clinic to see if it was that and even they didn’t spot it.

Breastfeeding was a breeze after that, so I’d definitely recommend a consultation with one.

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 13:24

@AperolWhore I have considered this as I had a forceps delivery, and where the forceps were placed on the back of his neck he had a big lump. Had an ultrasound scan and was told the lump was just the result of the forceps. It’s fine now, but I have wondered if the trams may make it harder for him to open his mouth wide enough. Will see if having the tongue tie corrected first solves the issue. He has plenty of wet and dirty nappies and is putting in weight well. I’m just finishing the constant feeding exhausting to be honest 😭

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MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 13:24

*if the trauma

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DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 19/09/2021 13:36

Breastfeeding goes like this.
Baby pops out. You put him/her to the breast. And leave him there. 24/7. For about two years.
Along the way, baby decides that s/he will or won't feed all the time, or all night, or whatever.
The way to do it is to let the baby decide. After the second birthday, you can negotiate.
This 'cluster-feeding' business is nonsense. Babies live to feed and feed to live. It's like breathing.
So, your baby is absolutely normal, and you, as most mothers today, have been misinformed.
The way to deal with exhaustion is to do nothing other than feed your baby. Stay in bed. Take sandwiches and a flask. Your own nutrition is very important. Lots of healthy snacks.
I shall sit back now and wait while all the misinformed mothers come on here and abuse me. Even so, I am right, so I can observe their outraged comments without taking offence. Grin

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 13:56

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle thanks for replying. We had some breastfeeding support last week, and I was told a feed should last around 40mins, and as I’ve said above lately he is feeding for hours on end. It’s tricky as it makes you start worrying something is wrong, that he’s not able to get enough milk out, or that my supply isn’t enough. He has been having lots of dirty nappies during this phase though, so I suppose that’s proof that he’s taking more on as a result of all the feeding!

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AperolWhore · 19/09/2021 13:59

We had a forceps delivery too after she turned in the birth canal, it was quite a traumatic birth so I’d definitely recommend going to see one. The difference in baby after was unbelievable xx

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 14:03

@AperolWhore if I’m honest I don’t even know why I had a forceps delivery, after two hours of pushing he just wasn’t coming down. He had bruising to his face and a cut on his forehead too 😢 thanks for the recommendation x

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Gorl · 19/09/2021 14:08

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle

Breastfeeding goes like this. Baby pops out. You put him/her to the breast. And leave him there. 24/7. For about two years. Along the way, baby decides that s/he will or won't feed all the time, or all night, or whatever. The way to do it is to let the baby decide. After the second birthday, you can negotiate. This 'cluster-feeding' business is nonsense. Babies live to feed and feed to live. It's like breathing. So, your baby is absolutely normal, and you, as most mothers today, have been misinformed. The way to deal with exhaustion is to do nothing other than feed your baby. Stay in bed. Take sandwiches and a flask. Your own nutrition is very important. Lots of healthy snacks. I shall sit back now and wait while all the misinformed mothers come on here and abuse me. Even so, I am right, so I can observe their outraged comments without taking offence. Grin
Oh god, are you that poster who posted on that poor desperate mother’s post about how she was dying of unhappiness with all that shite about how her ‘ace’ baby knew all the survival rules and mum just needed to positive mental attitude her way out of her desperation and depression?

If not then apologies. If so then please know you make my eyes roll so hard I’m in danger of having an aneurysm, and I’ve never found anything less helpful or more aggravating than your posts (and I say that as someone who exclusively breastfeeds and is part of a breastfeeding peer support group).

OP - first of all, have a massive dose of sympathy and a pat on the back because it’s bloody hard and you’re doing a great job.

My baby definitely still went through phases of very intense feeding at that age, where he seemed surgically attached to my boob. It wasn’t constant, but there were periods of time where he fed and fed and fed.

It’s worth remembering that babies feed for lots of reasons including comfort / pain relief / hydration / connection with you etc. You can sometimes meet those needs in other ways (cuddles, distractions, walks, naps) - but sometimes, only the boob will do.

If your baby is gaining weight fine and has plenty of wet nappies you don’t need to worry that he’s not getting enough milk. If he’s fussy at the breast, however, there may be other issues. Getting the tongue tie checked will hopefully rule that in or out either way. It’s also worth considering your let down - is it fast? If so, hand expressing a little before your baby feeds can make it more manageable for them.

Finally, it is not true that your baby needs to be attached to your boob 24/7 regardless of what the psycho I’ve quoted says. I know many women who breastfeed and I don’t know a single one who believes that shite. If you need a break please have a break - give your baby expressed milk in a bottle, try a dummy, let your partner have a go etc. YOUR NEEDS MATTER. YOU MATTER. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you having a break when you need one Flowers

Gorl · 19/09/2021 14:12

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle I’ve just done a search and it was you 😑 I knew there couldn’t be two people talking such utter bollocks.

DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 19/09/2021 14:19

[quote Gorl]@DoesHePlayTheFiddle I’ve just done a search and it was you 😑 I knew there couldn’t be two people talking such utter bollocks.[/quote]
Oh, really, you shouldn't have put yourself out.

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 14:22

@Gorl thanks so much for your kind post, almost made me well up. I never knew breastfeeding could be so tough, so I really admire all the women that persevere with it, and those that try their hardest even if they do end up throwing the towel in. Mid week I started feeling like I couldn’t do this and considered trying a bottle of formula, but the next day I felt more positive and forgot about the formula idea.

I’m really hoping that if the tongue tie needs snipping that will help. I feel bad for him and me to be honest, as wish he had more time for play and interaction - all that feeding is tiring for both of us I imagine!

I’m glad to hear that I shouldn’t expect him to be glued to my breast for however long I continue to breastfeed for. I feel like I would completely have to neglect myself, and of course to be able to continue to care for him and be able to have a good supply I need to eat well and rest! I might try and pump later, at least then I could get plenty into him in one go and fairly quickly which may finally satisfy him! X

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SweetBabyCheeses99 · 19/09/2021 14:31

I don’t get why @DoesHePlayTheFiddle isn’t right though?! She’s not saying that all babies will breastfeed 24/7, just that you can’t expect it to be convenient and easy. It’s the most useful advice I’ve read on here in a while. If women are given incorrect expectations that’s why leads to them feeling like failures or that they’re doing something wrong. Perversely it probably leads to lower breastfeeding rates than being honest.

JustKeepSw1mming · 19/09/2021 14:40

@Gorl is right. Especially this bit...

*It’s worth remembering that babies feed for lots of reasons including comfort / pain relief / hydration / connection with you etc. You can sometimes meet those needs in other ways (cuddles, distractions, walks, naps) - but sometimes, only the boob will do.

If your baby is gaining weight fine and has plenty of wet nappies you don’t need to worry that he’s not getting enough milk*

Not sure what that other poster is on about Grin It is definitely OK to detach your baby and to at least
try to settle/soothe them in other ways! Good luck!!! (Disclaimer: I am currently EBF a 4 month old)

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 14:44

@JustKeepSw1mming sometimes this works, sometimes he just cries and cries until I latch him back on. Feel bad for his Dad as at the mo the only time he spends with him is when he’s trying to distract him from feeding and baby just ends up crying until he hands him back to me. He won’t take a dummy, but going for a walk, bathing him etc can distract him for half an hour or so x

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RavenclawsRoar · 19/09/2021 14:47

Ah it's so tough OP. To me, it sounds normal. My first was like this - I found he got much better at spacing feeds after 12 weeks. Remember bf babies feed for comfort so make sure you wind thoroughly as if he has a sore tummy it will be making things worse! A good round of bicycle legs used to work wonders in that regard (and your partner can do it while you escape to have a bath/hot meal/nap). Good luck with it all!

Eatenpig · 19/09/2021 14:52

Forceps here to. Cranial Osteo was a life saver. Made massive difference

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 14:53

@RavenclawsRoar love the username! Thanks so much, glad to hear it’s not just me. Praying around 12 weeks we may start to see some improvement. He’s a gassy baby and definitely struggles with his digestion as since he was around 3 weeks old we’ve had issues with laying him in his crib at night - he grunts, strains and farts all night long. It’s slowly getting better and I can actually get a few hours sleep laying next to him now. One thing that’s driving me crazy today is that he will suckle for an hour or so, fall asleep at the breast and unlatch, then I have to put him up on my shoulder to burp him which wakes him up, and he starts frantically rooting around within moments of being put on my shoulder, and so we start all over again. Wish I could just leave him snoozing 😴

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MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 14:54

@Eatenpig I’ve contacted a local place to enquire about prices/treatment options. When you research online it seems to suggest that a forceps delivery shouldn’t have a long term impact on a baby, but then clearly that’s not the case given the comments here! X

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JustKeepSw1mming · 19/09/2021 15:09

I totally get it - keep going and the successes will start to outweigh the less successful ones. I am getting strong thighs from trying to jiggle him instead of offering breast! But sometimes breast is the only option.
When my partner has him he takes him outside for a walk when little one is fussing as that is more likely to distract him. Evenings are trickier though - the day time tricks don't work as well.

My little one also was refluxy - it is such a pain! Mine is getting better now at 4 months (I think the rota virus vaccine was a temporary setback for reflux though). Have you got one end of the cot slightly elevated as this can help?

JustKeepSw1mming · 19/09/2021 15:12

Also, keep trying with the dummy. My LO wouldn't take it initially but has now, hurrah! We are using a glow in the dark Mam one. It helps to stop LO from using me as a dummy

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 15:13

@JustKeepSw1mming sorry to hear you had similar and also had to deal with reflux! Yep got the cot elevated slightly. I’m just looking at baby carriers online so that DH can take him out for a walk without me - we live in a rural area where the pram is no good, and DH doesn’t want to use the sling, but he does settle on a walk, I took him early yesterday evening to distract him from his fussy feeding episodes just for half an hour! X

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madmumofteens · 19/09/2021 15:13

Try a dummy OP my DD used me as one I was too precious to try it tbh with both of mine xx

MintGreenLife · 19/09/2021 15:26

@JustKeepSw1mming how did you get the dummy in your LO’s mouth if they weren’t keen? I feel bad when I try and shove it in there when he’s clearly not a fan. I hold it in place and tap it to get him to suck, but he usually spits it out within 2-20mins max. We have Mam ones too x

@madmumofteens he’s not taken to a dummy so far, but will try again x

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Mossstitch · 19/09/2021 15:27

I don't see what was so offensive about doesheplaythefiddle's post. I've breast fed three boys and they would be permanently attached at that age if I let them! I found expressing nigh on impossible and the only one I tried a bottle with chewed it and spat it out so none had bottles or dummies! The only thing that distracted them was pacing the floor to music......... Until real food made an appearance😂 then they just wanted food all the time as well! Fortunately for me I'm so old that mine were on proper meals by 6 months whereas now I believe they recommend staying on milk, there is no way any of mine would have lasted on just milk and me neither. Everything you said is perfectly normal op, it's a miracle any of us have a second, but keep going, they soon grow up and past this stage😉💐

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