Help baby won’t sleep in his cot

[Twinnimum]

My baby boy just turned one last week, his sister is a fantastic sleeper and has been sleeping through since December. Him not so much, we used to be able to re-settle him in his own cot but now he almost always refuses to sleep/nap without being held. I’ve tried everything from giving him the T-shirt I wore that day to just leaving him to cry it out and nothing works. Any new ideas would be very appreciated

We are having the same issue! My DS has been same since been being poorly with a cold and teething he just won’t go down. We are having to take it in turns to cuddle him to both get some sort of sleep! It’s awful isn’t it.

Oh gosh, we're experiencing the same thing too!! Used to go down in her cot and now screams and screams if we try. I've resorted to Co sleeping which isn't ideal as she thrashes around so it's not the most comfortable night sleep but at least I get some sleep. Could you try this?

I should add that my dd is 13 months

Controlled crying will work just not instantly- it’s persistence and a battle of wills: yours vs a stubborn 1yr old

Ours hated the cot too.
Loves a bed with bedguard though so I think it was feeling trapped (?)

Sleeps through on his own in a big bed now, comes in and wakes us up in the morning.

Have you had a look at the No Cry Sleep Solution? We found it cut down on the night wakings.

31 Ways to get your baby to sleep might help as well

Would you consider some gentle sleep training? Both you and your partner have to commit a weekend and work as a team to crack it.

Thanks guys! I will thoroughly look into all the suggestions you've said!

It is a massive battle of wills and sadly his is stronger! He almost seems to need to be able to see us. Which isn't possible as our flat is tiny so can't put him in our room in his cot which is why I just take him into my bed when he gets bad.

But it takes forever to get him to go to sleep and the last two nights I've had to wait until my will breaks then let him fall asleep on me and keep trying that.

Honestly I love him to bits but I feel so bad for his sister (same age) who shares his room!

No battles of wills here but a wee one that needs to be close to his mummy. Who knows why things have changed recently (developmental stuff going on?), but don't let it worry you. There's no rule that says babies need to sleep in a cot (outside the western world, children sleeping with parents is the norm). Do what's easiest to get you through with the maximum amount of sleep. There's a great Facebook group you could check out for support and ideas that don't involve any sleep training: the Beyond Sleep Training Project.

No battles of wills here but a wee one that needs to be close to his mummy gotta love the emotional guilt trip. I loved co sleeping when my youngest was near on newborn but there came a point when co sleeping actually became a hindrance and it was better for everyone in our house to go through the odd night of tears to eventually ensure both baby and I got a full nights sleep- don’t feel guilty if you do decide to sleep train OP. My rule was always if not hungry, wet, ill or teething they were crying due to a change and not really upset.

What happens if he's in his cot and you stay in the room until he's gone down? Mattress next to his cot so he can hold your hand falling asleep?

Settling him in your bed and then transferring? Never been a fan or cry it out.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers so only if you're child has something physically wrong with them, they're being taken seriously but emotionally, they aren't? That's crazy isn't it or am I being crazy?

This just sounds like babies being babies to me. They’re trying to tell you what they need right now and you’re either going to give it to them or not. In previous generations and cultures where it would take a village to raise a child you’d have greater support to enable you to meet these needs. But I understand how the demands of modern lifestyles mean that some people are unable or unwilling to do that themselves. The good news is that as heartbreaking and barbaric as “controlled crying” might seem, recent research has does that it doesn’t actually seem to result in attachment disorders in later life. So there’s that.

[quote gemloving]@OnlyFoolsnMothers so only if you're child has something physically wrong with them, they're being taken seriously but emotionally, they aren't? That's crazy isn't it or am I being crazy?
[/quote]
I’m saying everyone knows their child best- there is nothing neglectful about controlled crying (not cry it out) if your baby is physically well- if parents are both working and have other children they may not have hours to spend ssshing and hushing a 4yr old to sleep or be able to go to bed at 7pm to co sleep.

We've taken to holding onto him until he falls asleep this last two nights and it helps a little but he just doesn't want to sleep,

I'm a uni student and work, as someone said I don't have time to go to bed when he does every night, but I do my best around it. He loves his cuddles and it's clearly all he wants so no he just gets them. It's less crying and more relaxed for him. His sister happily goes when she gets puts down so at least i'm not buried under two crying at once.

Floor bed all the way. My little girl is 6 months and has been napping in hers since 4 months, she’s just started going in overnight and it’s amazing. I can lie next to her and cuddle/feed her to sleep, and then just roll away! I don’t need to try and transfer her, she also doesn’t feel trapped, and there’s no danger of her trying to climb out and hurt herself. I have thoroughly baby proofed her bedroom and baby gated the door so when she becomes mobile (as your son will be) there’s no danger. Have a look into Montessori floor beds - I’m so glad I got rid of the cot and went with it. It’s only 10cm tall so it’s safe if/when they roll or climb out. At 12 months you could also add a yoga mat or something by the bed for padding if you’re worried as the SIDS risk has decreased.

Hey!! My son is 6m, he used to sleep very well in his bedside crib throughout the night. We've bought a new cot, bigger one since he's outgrown his bedside one, everytime we try & put him down he's screaming & crying, so I've been bed sharing with him and my partner is starting to complain because he has to sleep on the floor. But I'm the one that has to wake up with the baby and stuff so bed sharing is great because I know my baby won't wake up unnecessarily and neither will I. But my partner keeps complaining so idk what I'm going to do to try & get LO in his cot

Have tried sleep training whilst staying in the room and doing the pick up, put down method rather than controlled crying which is basically just cry it out?