1 girl 3 boys

[Bonbons45]

So I have a daughter who is almost 10 and two boys who are 8 and 4. We have just found out I am expecting another boy. Does anyone else have 1 girl then 3 boys? I’m a bit nervous about the family dynamics and my daughter (and me to be honest) getting negative comments about yet another little brother. My daughter is a very girly girl and so would have loved a sister but she is being very kind and laid back about the prospect of another brother bless her. Is there anything I can do to better prepare her for any potentially unkind comments as it seems that unless you have equal gender splits people always have something to say. I had loads of funny comments about having a second boy and how disappointed my daughter must be so I can only imagine what they will say now. Im dreading the ‘oh never mind’ comments

I have one boy followed by three girls and have experienced exactly what you describe. The amount of comments made to my DS about how unfortunate it is he will never have a brother etc is ridiculous. I've even had people ask if I will try again for another boy! I think people maybe just dont realise they are being insensitive?

My friend has a girl followed by 3 boys.
Her DD said the best thing was that she never had to share a bedroom. The boys did. And they didn't steal her clothes/makeup. Although of course there's no guarantee of that one

I'm the only daughter with 3 brothers. I love it to be honest. Always had my own room, never had to share clothes or makeup, rarely had to share toys I'm also 10 years older than my youngest brother like your DD will be, and I absolute dote on him even now, despite him being 19 he's my baby. She'll be fine.

I know what you mean about comments. I have 2 boys and a girl and often get asked if I'm going to try for another girl. Absolutely not. 3 is more than enough thank you.

Opposite here.

We have 1 boy (2nd child) and 5 girls! Our son looks on the bright side, glad he doesn't have to share his bedroom lol. DH wants another boy but chances are we'd get more girls (possibly twin girls again).

People always have something to say don’t they! It’s so strange as you can’t exactly pick and choose which baby comes and when. I’m trying to prepare her for it as best we can but her friends are already saying they feel sorry for her if it’s another boy luckily she’s not upset by this at the moment

She'll be fine. I have the same birth order and similar age gaps and they all get along fine (apart from when they are arguing).
I try not to treat the boys and the girl too differently - even though my daughter is very girlie. I think we're lucky to have mixed sexes in a family and they all benefit. All good.
Enjoy

She is pleased she’ll always have her own room though!

I'm the only girl with three brothers. Didn't get any comments to me (no idea if my parents got them although I was often asked if we were catholic which made for a very awkward conversation when I asked them why people kept saying that when I was about 8!)

I did often used to rail against not having a sister and used to think I wanted to one but then caught on that it was actually a pretty sweet deal-never had to share a room on holiday, exclusive use of toys, my mum would often take me for 'girly days' out shopping (that phrase make me cringe now but I did love the special days with my mum).

Now we're all adults I'm afraid that I'm not especially close with my brothers, not for any particular reason, and could have been the same with sisters. We get on absolutely fine and enjoy each other's company but don't live very close to one another and none of us made a huge effort to go see each other. However, two of them are now married and it is pretty nice to have two sisters in law. We often text each other and chat away at gatherings. So it's all worked out pretty nicely!

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP. It sounds like your daughter is fine and hopefully will be able to brush off any comments in the knowledge that she's got a great deal as the only girl!

As an aside...everyone who's met me has either not been surprised or guessed straightaway that I'm the oldest of brothers. Apparently I'm very.....capable do watch out for your girl not taking on a 'little mother' role!

Hi I hope you don't mind me replying now after almost a year. I have one girl almost 6 and then 2 boys. Find out yesterday expecting another boy. My daughter desperately wants a sister and even said she'd be praying for one. But this baby wasn't planned so 4 is definitely our max. Can you tell me how your daughter handled it after baby was born? how do you find family dynamics? I'm also worried about comments 'oh another boy.' worried family members won't be excited either. We are happy he is healthy but can't help but have these feelings at the moment. Thanks

Hi @cassieevans congratulations on your pregnancy! It’s not easy having an unplanned pregnancy so I hope you’re doing ok.

Baby is now 4.5 months old and my daughter absolutely adores him - she says he is her favourite brother- although this may change once he’s old enough to annoy her 😆

I completely understand how you are feeling though as my daughter has been asking for years for a sister so I really felt like I had let her down, but she is honestly fine about it and loves him so much. I was far more worried about it than she was.

Having a baby in the house has probably helped the family dynamics in a way as they all dote on the baby but the older 3 find things they can do in separate pairs as well. I think it was harder before really when the boys would play and my daughter would just be on FaceTime to her friends. She now spends time teaching dancing to her next youngest brother and tennis with her oldest and there’s the baby to play with when the boys are wrestling or being too crazy for her. She is 10 so older than your daughter but at 6 I’m sure she will just love having a baby in the house.

In terms of comments people have actually been surprisingly kind about it, I’ve had the odd ‘oh your poor daughter’ but not as much as I thought I would. Perhaps people think I had tried for a girl and didn’t get one so didn’t want to rub my face in it but I had far more comments in my last pregnancy to be honest. If you are worried though you could always tell people you’re not finding out maybe? Then they will just see a beautiful baby and not a bump 😊.

Be kind to yourself, what you’re feeling is totally normal and in my experience is so much easier once baby is here as you have a whole new person to love not just the label of ‘boy’ or ‘girl’

Good luck with everything

Thank you for your lovely reply.

Yes we are keeping it a secret from everyone what we are having, but we are subtly trying to prepare her for a boy. I've had again this morning how she hates being only girl and also the only girl cousin my side. I don't really know what to say back?

I've told her how special she will be being only girl, the things us two can do together and she won't have to share her bedroom etc. She also likes that idea.

I personally just excited to have another newborn, just that he's healthy that's all that I care about. But my daughter keeps making me feel guilty. I never had a sister which is why I also feel like she would love one - But this is how our family is meant to be.

xxx