(kids) Party Political dilemma

[thearty1]

What is everyone doing about kids birthday parties now? (Little kids, ie for the Early Years - KS1 age range.)

My DD is a September baby, has just started Reception and I'm not sure what to do about her birthday party. Her class demographic seems very different to my elder son's class and nearly a third of the families have declined to join the class contact list, so I don't even know all the parents and childrens names!

In contrast, my eldest DS was a June baby, so we had got to know his Reception class very well by then, and it felt natural to invite the whole class. All the children in his class had done the same, with joint parties being organised, etc, and so I was following the trend very comfortably in his year group, and of course, that was all long before covid.

So, I suggested to DH that we could just host a small, home garden party inviting half a dozen of DD's favourite school friends, but DH says it's not PC and I can't invite some and not all of the class at this age. Is he right??

So, I looked into local outdoor venues... which are all currently unavailable. I'm just not sure I'm comfortable yet (coming out of a pandemic, etc) hosting a indoor party with 32 four year old's plus their parents, which could potentially end up being 90+ people!

Urgh...what to do?

Absolutely fine to just invite some of the class. We’re often invited to all girls parties so roughly half the class isn’t invited.
It’s only poor etiquette if you invite everyone in a class except one or two children.

In the past I would of said invite the whole class but covid has meant smaller numbers are now acceptable. We did all girls last academic year.

The two Birthdays we have done for Ks1 & KS2 we have just invited a few children, 6 close friends. I think it's absolutely fine to just have a few friends over

I’ve never done whole class parties

If you turn 5, you get to invite 5 friends. That's our rule. It avoids drama.

Neither of my kid’s classes have routinely had whole class parties. Some do, but it’s by no means expected. What does your child want? Pre covid my son’s class had far more full class parties but he hates them and just wanted 4 friends.

Thanks all. I'm feeling a lot more confident about doing something small now.

My worries come from my experience of what used to happen when my eldest was DD's age. 30 birthday parties each year from Reception until around year 2, when some then started splitting into all girl or all boy groups. 30 birthdays was made more bearable since quite a lot of the children often shared joint parties...and after Reception we came to a no presents understanding. It worked. It was fun. I assumed this was what everyone does.

(The last thing I want is to start off the new year with people thinking we've snubbed them....but hopefully that's not going to happen, if I don't set the precedent for whole class parties ! lol)

Some parents will probably be really grateful that you started this precedent of smaller parties

Just keep it intimate, why does it have to be class parties at all? Family and any besties are enough.