Toddler throwing food and shouting - how to stop?!

[rubbishmum33]

My son is almost 18 months and I’m struggling. He’s at that age where he’s hellbent on exploring everything, opening and emptying cupboards, pulling anything he can off tables. It’s exhausting but I know its to be expected. What is worrying me however are the following behaviours, because I’m really unsure how to deal with them and hopefully stop them:

1. He loves eating but has recently started throwing food. Today he managed to chuck about five bits of fruit across the room before I could stop him. I took the bowl away to stop him throwing any more and he shouted for me to bring it back. I gave him another chance, he attempted to throw food again, so I took the bowl away again and he shouted for it and burst into tears.

1. When in his highchair, he will frequently chuck his water beaker on the floor then shout really loudly for me to pick it up. I pick it up and he does the same thing again a minute later. I know I could just leave it but I also want to encourage him to drink as much water as possible.

1. He will often stretch his arms out as if wanting a hug and then shout until I pick him up. As soon as I pick him up, he’s squirming. stretching his arms towards the floor and shouting to get back down on the floor again!! So should I just ignore him seemingly wanting a hug in the first place?!

1. I took him out the bath tonight after 20 minutes and he started shouting and crying then too, wanting to go back in.

I do model behaviour (I never shout and am actually a very quiet person!) and say no in a calm voice when he throws the food and yells, but it doesn’t have any effect.

If anyone with experience of this could please advise what to do I’d be very grateful, as I’m so confused!

Following! No answers OP as I’m in the same situation!

That all sounds very familiar and very normal. You just have to ignore it. It is a phase - it's just the way they learn.

I’m just so unsure what to do - was I right in continuing to pick up the beaker, and taking away the fruit after a second chance? Should I carry on picking him up when he seemingly wants a hug? It feels kind of wrong to ignore him. I’m just really doubting myself and my abilities as a parent here

Sorry op but those behaviours are very typical of that age. It is the noise they like and the ‘ooo what will happen when I throw this..splosh bang’ then they want to repeat. The world is so new an exciting and unfortunately that means lots of mess for Mummy to clean up! It usually gradually improves and passes by about 20 months although my 22 month old still has his moments if I leave his bowl too long after he has shouted ‘finished!’ The impatience and stubbornness unfortunately doesn’t go quite so fast even lasting into adulthood in some cases…

If your toddler isn’t interested in drinking or eating (throwing everything repeatedly) and has finished take it away, I would get out and let play.

Agree with PPs this is completely normal and I wouldn’t really bother trying to teach him that if he throws his beaker on the floor he won’t be able to get it back - I would just keep picking it back up for him so he could have a drink. This phase will pass!

@rubbishmum33

I’m just so unsure what to do - was I right in continuing to pick up the beaker, and taking away the fruit after a second chance? Should I carry on picking him up when he seemingly wants a hug? It feels kind of wrong to ignore him. I’m just really doubting myself and my abilities as a parent here

You're not rubbish at all! I don't really think there's a wrong way necessarily to handle these things. Something like the lifting up, If just treat as a joke. The others, I would have done exactly the same.

also forgot to say please don’t doubt yourself - you’re doing great

@Popcornbetty thanks for the reply. So should I be giving him a firm ‘no’ when he purposefully drops and throws his cup and food? Is there anything I could or should be doing differently or do I just need to ride it out?

At this age aswell it’s helpful to just repeat no firmly every time they do something unwanted and eventually they get it. It will take a long time and a lot of no’s but I promise it does sink in eventually and as a nother pp said it is how they learn. Distraction is the key as well and removing from the situation where necessary.

@Popcornbetty sorry, cross post. So I’ll continue saying no in a firm voice and hoping it sinks in.

A firm no and pick back up (no right or wrong on how many times.) I would just take him out if he only playing and eaten enough. I know it is frustrating but I promise it does get better, I have a 4 year old too, different challenges but a lot less messy than my youngest one!

1. He loves eating but has recently started throwing food I'd give one chance then take it away and get him down. Leave it accessible

2. When in his highchair, he will frequently chuck his water beaker on the floor then shout really loudly for me to pick it up see above

3. He will often stretch his arms out as if wanting a hug and then shout until I pick him up. As soon as I pick him up, he’s squirming. stretching his arms towards the floor and shouting to get back down on the floor again!! keep doing it, it's a game. UP! DOWWWWN! UP! DOWWWNNNN!

4. I took him out the bath tonight after 20 minutes and he started shouting and crying then too, wanting to go back in. Ignore and distract

Maybe look up schemas. It's how they learn and giving him chances to explore these might help

Thanks everyone, really helpful advice. I will look up schemas, not heard of those before.

Dd had a "No thank you plate" for dgs that actually worked. If he picked it up and looked like he was going to throw it she'd tell him "on the no thank you plate" It took no time at all for him to grasp that he should put the stuff he didn't want there and he'd even clear the highchair tray at the end of the meal onto the no thank you plate. A habit he still has.
I also learnt from dd that if the highchair has a hole to put the cup in always put it in there and encourage the child to return it to the hole as that discourages them throwing it on the floor.
I may have had five dc but have learnt a lot from dd.

@hiredandsqueak I love these tips thank you to you and your DD. You sound proud of her mothering skills, I hope she knows because that's so rare and lovely!

@linerforlife dd is incredible and I'm so proud of her. Dgs is a very lucky little boy.

Regarding the throwing of food and his beaker, I would acknowledge it like this:

“Wow, your beaker makes a fantastic sound when it hits the ground doesn’t it?! It splashes and makes a loud noise! I understand you’re having fun, but if you continue to throw your beaker then it might get broken. How about I pop it over here and if you want some water, I can give you some?”

If he cries, acknowledge that too. “I know! It’s so frustrating when you want something. You must feel so sad. Unfortunately, if you throw things on the floor then it gets messy and it means mummy has to clean it up so that you don’t slip and hurt yourself.”