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Parenting

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Original poster

First foray into the world of the baby clinic - should I be concerned about what the HV said?

25 replies

ManchesterMummy · 04/12/2007 15:03

Finally made it to baby clinic - DD is 8 weeks old.

To cut a long story short, we had horrendous problems breastfeeding and she ended up losing 20% of her body weight in the first five days of life. (we're mixed feeding now). She's been on the 50th centile since we got her back from having dropped to the 9th when she was 5 days old, but now has shot up quite a bit. I feed on demand, and don't just answer every cry with food. I asked HV if this weight gain was okay, and all she said was "Don't worry about it FOR NOW". What's that supposed to mean? She seems quite long - some of the 0-3 stuff seems short on her already yet noone has ever recorded her length! (55cm at birth)

Can someone reassure me I'm not going to end up with a horribly fat child (like I was, hence my concern)? And can someone also explain why I feel like a rubbish parent every time I go near a HV?

Help!

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Original poster

ManchesterMummy · 04/12/2007 15:05

DD's quite long - not the HV! (who also once told me I need to get myself out and about and put on some make-up! Was wearing make-up at the time...)

OP posts:

BeeWiseMen · 04/12/2007 15:08

I also got raised eyebrows when DD shot up the weight percentiles. Then they measured her length and lo and behold she was actually a bit on the skinny side. {blowing rapberry emoticon]. You can measure your DD's length you know. The method is in your red book. Don't take any cr@p about your DD being overweight until they've measured her length.

if you're feeding on demand then you won't end up up with a fat child.

BeeWiseMen · 04/12/2007 15:14

cheeky cow! She just sounds like she's just one of those people who likes to make other people feel bad. A looker herself is she?

by the way, looking in my DDs red book, 55cm at birth puts your DD on the 99.6th percentile for length. Our HVs have told me that they like babies to be on the same or neighbouring percentiles for length and weight.

I remember you from the in-laws won't give me back my crying baby thread. As a veteran with a 23 wo baby, I'll save you the bother of speaking to HVs, in laws or old ladies in supermarkets again - "You're doing it all wrong you know!". There, that about covers it.

Interested in this thread?

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Families General parenting

Original poster

ManchesterMummy · 04/12/2007 15:14

Thanks - got to say I haven't studied the red book in great detail (hmmm perhaps I AM a bad parent!!) so will get on with measuring her.

Red book's already got some strange stuff in it - when they did DD's hearing test at the hospital they wrote MY name on the results sheet!

OP posts:

Original poster

ManchesterMummy · 04/12/2007 15:16

Oooh does that mean I never have to go again?

She trowels the foundation on...

OP posts:

ChubbyScotsBurd · 04/12/2007 15:19

at make up comment!

(Ignore her, btw!)

MaeWestYeMerryGentlemen · 04/12/2007 15:20

My DS is 16 months old

I have never been to baby clinic

On the rare occasion that I have seen my HV she usually prods DS on his lovely chubby arm and makes comments like 'Don't worry, that'll soon drop off when he's mobile' (it hasn't, much). He was/is completely bf on demand and pretty much went Baby Led Weaning route, so no force feeding issues here thanks!

Babies are the shape they are meant to be - sounds like you're pretty good at responding to yours

kittylouise · 04/12/2007 15:21

IGNORE THE HV. THROW THE RED BOOK AWAY!

Only joking, but don't feel that you have to need you if you feel uncomfortable and feel like a bad mother when you leave. There is more to motherhood than that bloody red book.

HV's made me feel horrible useless and inadequate as a very young and lonely mum. They seem to have a special talent in this.

Trust your instincts and don't be bossed about. They are not the law. And remember you don't have to go if you don't want to.

Original poster

ManchesterMummy · 04/12/2007 15:26

I only went today as DH wanted to know if she's heavy enough for her Grobag now!

OP posts:

BeeWiseMen · 04/12/2007 15:32

well if she's long and skinny you will hit the same dilemma I did when your child is too long for the 0-6 months grobag but not heavy enough for the 6-18 months one. I was up nights fretting about that one......

perpetualworrier · 04/12/2007 15:51

I went every week for a year with DS1 and was never told anything useful. If I had a query I didn't already know the answer to, I was always told to see the doctor.

I took DS2 twice and he seems to have survived.

HV's are useful for a first time mum, if you've got a reassuring one and going to the clinic does get you out of the house, but I don't think mine ever added anything tangible, even though she was lovely and wanted to help.

millie865 · 04/12/2007 16:45

I must say that although some of the HV I saw were very warm and friendly (some weren't!) I never felt a huge amount of faith in their advice. They often didn't seem that up to date in their advice (suggesting weaning at 4 months for example). Anything more complicated than what could be read in a baby book I was told to see the doctor (who always tried to refer me back to the health visitor....)

warthog · 04/12/2007 19:13

sounds like a load of bollocks if you ask me. they thought my dd was underweight. i knew she was eating well, was happy, so i never went again. problem sorted.

Kammy · 04/12/2007 21:17

In my experience HV's can sometimes cause more anxiety than reassurance! My ds was prem and my HV kept telling me to get him weighed every week, kept scoring me for post natal depression (for gods sake I WORK in mental health), pressured me to wean him because he wasn't gaining weight quickly enough and kept quizzing me about why I was anxious....(9 week prem baby, in SCBU for 5 weeks, ventilated, blood transfusons..etc, who would not be anxiou!)
I finally realised that it wsa her anxiety about 5 years later when I bumped into her in the street adn she asked me how ds was...I told her briefly about how fit and healthy he was and that school had identified him as exceptionally bright and she said...'well, yes, some special care babies do quite well!!!!!!'
repwat the mantra...@I am not a rubbish parent 100 times before going near a baby clinic and remember you know your baby best.

Rowlers · 04/12/2007 21:21

We have pictures of DD when she was a few months old - she was michelin baby with huge rolls of baby fat everywhere. I seem to remember her being on 95th + centile.
She's long and lean now at the age of 3.8 and eats like a sparrow.
Don't worry about it.

mintydixcharrington · 04/12/2007 21:33

I think it is worth seeing an HV once. If you like her, and think she is someone who may have something useful to say, then see her again. If you don't - then don't bother.

Can I just say it is impossible for an 8 week old to be overweight.

Stop agitating, keep looking after her nicely, feed her as much as she wants, make sure she is gaining weight (ie growing out of clothes at a nice rate) and have some faith in yourself!

KristinaM · 04/12/2007 21:42

I have three children aged under 8 and i have never gone to a baby clinic in my life, except to get their vaccines

My 2 Hv are extremely pleasant & when i bump into them at the shops i am happy to chat. But they have never told me anything useful about bringing up my kids. Sorry if that sounds arrogant . Most times if i am worried about soemthing i check out mumsnet. Quicker,can combine it with bf, much less stressful, more reliable and much more humourous

oh and no one on mumsnet has ever told me my baby is the wrong weight. which is what HV do all the apparently. in fact i have never heard of any babies that are the right weight

Kbear · 04/12/2007 21:50

and I hope you're not rocking that baby ManchesterMummy - rod for your own back, that's what your making!

Step away from the HV and come into the light!

(saying that my second HV was an angel who was a tower of strength as two weeks after DS was born I had a cancer scare, she was amazingly supportive but the first time, sheeesh, she was Edwina Currie all over again)!!

LittleMy34 · 04/12/2007 21:52

There's no such thing as a baby who fits the charts, I'm convinced of that. for a start, those red books are based on middle class american bottle fed babies in Ohio, so it's no wonder no British babies ever fit! And I totally agree about seeing the HV once and deciding if she has anything useful to say. My HV gave me ONE piece of advice I ever found of any use.

You are not a rubbish parent. You are that baby's mummy and noone could be as good a mummy to that baby as you. Certainly not the HV!

sprogger · 05/12/2007 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brangelina · 05/12/2007 14:03

Erm, you have to be a certain weight for the grobags? I never realised that, I just plonked DD in the first one that fit. How does weight affect grobag size FFS? Or is there real science behind it?

honey2theb · 05/12/2007 16:08

What are these centile things all about then?? dd is the 90th for weight and height,but no one has said shes too big?

My HV is really good btw, but she has just had a baby herself, so i suppose that must make a difference

Original poster

ManchesterMummy · 05/12/2007 17:52

Sprogger - I'm a born worrier and it was something about her tone.

Brangelina - apparently you do! The pack said something about weighing over 10lb. Really have no idea why though, but DH is very, very keen on doing everything absolutely according to instructions. It's qutie tiresome at times!

OP posts:

LittleMy34 · 05/12/2007 21:36

I think it's to do with them being big enough not to slip down inside the bag and get lost at the bottom.....

KristinaM · 06/12/2007 20:08

if they slip down the bag they could get too hot

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