Social involvement after a mental health incident

[Tillitalli]

Hi. I’m really in a bit of a state about all this.
So 2 weeks ago my partner was at a couple he knows house for some drinks. The man whose house it was ended up attacked his partner, my partner steps in and was beaten up quite badly.
He went to a friends house. The friend called me saying he thought my partner needed an ambulance ( why he called me and didn’t call one I Have NO idea) I obviously worried went to the house. My partner was in a complete mess, totally delirious. I at this point didn’t know he’d been in a fight, I assumed he was drunk and had fallen over! Basically he wasn’t responding so I went back out to my car where my kids where with the friend and my partner followed me out saying accusing me of stealing something and hiding in my car. He frenziedly started rooting through my car. In the process of this he pushed me out of the way while I was sat in the boot and my 9month old daughters head got hit into the side of the car. I dropped her onto the grass and pushed my partner away from us to the ground. Our friend then intervened and made my partner leave. I called an ambulance as she was sick shortly after. She was fine. Police were called and also ss. My partner was taken to hospital by the police about 23 hours later when they caught up with him and was taken straight to hospital, no arrests made (my wishes obviously) but they could see he needed to be seen. They checked him over and did some scans, he discharged himself and then for the whole week was totally out of sorts. Scarily. This came to a head a week later when he was acting so strangely that I called the police again. They came, talked to him and left and then I had to ring them back again as he disappeared and left a note that said “I’m dead” they came again and took him away and took him to his fathers house. The next day he went to the doctor and got new meds (he’s recently starting taking anti depressiants) the doctor thinks he may have had a breakdown due to the attack. He didn’t sleep a full week afterwards until the night I called the police. Now ss want to see us all and I’m so worried. He is such a good dad and the whole thing was not him at all. He is seeking help for mental health. What more can he do? I’m so worried any reassurance or even non reassuring truths of what to expect, just anything is much appreciated

That’s really worrying. For him to attack you and a baby like that is very disturbing. You say it was out of character, so hopefully just a one off caused by the breakdown. He needs to be very serious about sorting his mental health so it never happens again.

It’s hard, but try to see social services as being on the side of you and your children. They just want to make sure you’re all safe. Work with them in terms of what they need your partner to show, and for you to show that you can keep the children safe. They don’t want to break up families, so if you all show you’re willing to make sure this incident never reoccurs, they should support you with that.

It wasn't just drink by the sounds of it.
SS are there to help you and your child. As pp says, let them.

You need to read your post back and look at it from SS perspective. Start with the child's head being banged into the door so hard that she then threw up - instant thought here is concussion.

Whatever went on with your DH whether brought on by MH issues or drink/drug induced is largely immaterial, it's how your DC are kept safe in future that is important.

You need to be open and honest and be very clear that will do whatever is necessary to keep your DC safe. That may mean making some hard decisions about your relationship.

Thank you. Yes it was really bizarre. We’ve been together for 9 years and he is a very docile and gentle person. There has been mention of maybe bi polar disorder and the new pills he’s been prescribed are so far really helping him. He is just his usual self. And he has no memory of the incindent with our DD. He’s lost about 3 days after his head injury ( should have stayed that above) he was very concussed and had taken some big blows to the head. So in my mind that’s why that happened. The police officer said it sounded like a trauma response. They are coming to do my daughters 1 year review with the hv. This incident was over a week ago now and they are not coming until the 23rd and they are coming to see us all at my mothers house - so they can’t have immediate concerns? I just can’t help
But be scared they will separate my family - and with the exception of this we are a really very happy family, we have a 3 year old boy too