Very anxious nearly 3 year old

[feb2022]

I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience with this
So my DS1 is 3 in December, he's always been a very anxious boy, scared of loud noises etc
But over the last couple of weeks it's gotten worse! He seems to be scared of everything
Alarms, the washing machine, kettle most household appliances, and he just screams and he's been doing this in nursery also
He was supposed to have his picture taken today and he just screamed at the sight of the camera
He's a lovely little boy but I'm just so worried about him it must be awful being scared all the time
Has anyone got any advice? Is this totally normal and just a phase?
DS2 turns 2 in December and he isn't afraid of anything so I think that worries me more

I have no experience of this, OP, but I just wanted to bump the thread up a bit for you.

Could there be a hearing issue, if the fear comes primarily from noise?

My almost three year old isn't an anxious boy, but he spent a long time running from the hairdryer and hoover when they were turned on. He just hated the noise, apparently. He still isn't a fan, but I think he's got used to hearing them daily, so it's reduced the fear somewhat.

I'm sorry I have no wisdom for you, but hopefully someone will be along soon who does. x

I came here to post a similar thread. My nearly 3 year old is crying/screaming when people laugh(mainly me), kids crying and when someone he doesn't know talks to me. It's incredibly stressful and I don't know what to do about it. I hope someone is along soon to help you out, OP.

@TurdCrapley it's awful isn't it!
I just don't know how I can help him it's seems relentless, I just hope he grows out of it soon

@MadameOvary81 thanks for the bump and your reply, I just feel so helpless and like I've failed him somehow

How is he with other adults and children OP? Are there any other situations where he becomes anxious or is it solely the loud noises that worry him?

My nearly 3 year old is crying/screaming when people laugh(mainly me), kids crying and when someone he doesn't know talks to me.

@TurdCrapley Has he always been like this or is it a recent thing? I’m wondering if the events of the last 18 months could have played a part.

Sounds like sensory processing difficulties, particularly with sound.

@nonono1 he's brilliant with other children plays normally and gets really exited, he's still a little wary of new people/people he hasn't seen for a while

I forgot to add also, if where outside he rarely runs off he just want to hold my hand all the time, if where at a park he will go off and do his own thing but is still very nervous checking to see if I'm near him
I was asking him what frightened him today in nursery and he said
"The big camera flashed all by itself"
It was school photo day today so I think that just set him off for the whole morning then, I'm going to have a word with his teacher tomorrow and see what she says

@nonono1 he's scared of new places too and just says
"Go home" over and over
Like if I took him to the hospital/ doctors for example

Hi,

I didnt want to read and run because my little boy who is 3 and a half was exactly the same, and still is!
At one point I was unable to hoover entirely with him around as he was petrified of the sound, and at nursery/at home he would run indoors whenever there was a helicopter/really loud motorbike. He is also extremely anxious around one particular boy at nursery, after this one boy had a particular loud tantrum/cry one day.

I can't say theres a magic solution other than just reassurance and positive language, ie its a NICE hoover! and also one thing which has helped is headphones/ear defenders. I put them on him one day at my Mums as an experiment when my Father was doing very loud work in the back garden, and he was fine. He since does wear them every now and then at nursery or at home.

[quote feb2022]@nonono1 he's scared of new places too and just says
"Go home" over and over
Like if I took him to the hospital/ doctors for example[/quote]
This is what my autistic son does too.

This is ok, quite a normal thing for children to suddenly become very aware of newness and a bit anxious and scared particularly when they are the older sibling too- whilst clearly some children do go on to get issue with sensory processing etc a lot of children equally just grow out of it, as they become more worldly wise.

You just need to be very patient, explain everything to him so he knows what will be happening, reassure him that after that event you will be going home and remind him he’s very safe, he has lots of people that love him, how grown up he is and how it’s ok to be a little bit afraid but how lots of things that seem a bit scarey can be very exciting too.
Constantly supporting him, affirming his fears and how he can deal
With them and telling him of times he has been very brave and reminding him off noises that scare him and what happened after and that it was ok in the end etc.

My son was very similar and he had very limited language too which made it worse and I worried myself to heck with it all,I’m a nursery nurse and I was so sad he was so scared of everything but now he’s a 28 year old lawyer working in China (not in law) and oozes confidence and self importance !!
He wasn’t a nervous wreck in school and just gradually found himself.

Hi op I had a very similar dc.

In my child’s case it was because of glue ear, which muffles ordinary sound so that loud sounds are much more sudden and terrifying. On this basis I would recommend pushing for a hearing test.

I would also complete the MCHAT to see if there are any flags for asd. That will help you decide how best to help him.

Something I was recommended was to explain and normalise the source of each fear. So we explained what things were and why. It sounds like he might benefit from a visual timetable with pictures where you talk through what will happen when.

You could make a scrapbook of “funny noises” - stick in pictures and practice making the sounds together, building up to playing them very very quietly on the iPad - like a form of desensitisation

@Foxhasbigsocks I will ring the health visitor tomorrow and have a word with her and see if she can come and do a home visit
I'll definitely get him booked in for a hearing test
We did manage a little breakthrough this afternoon though, he hates the hoover!
So I ordered him a little packet of halloween spooky stickers a few weeks ago, and he had lots of fun putting the stickers on the funny face (hetty hoover)... he wouldn't go anywhere near it this time last week, fingers crossed he's slightly overcome a fear

@Notmrsfitz Thankyou for your suggestions
I do try and reassure him, I've shown him pictures of washing machines and some of the things he's afraid of, he will help put things into the washing machine but as soon as I press the start button he runs off screaming... god forbid I let the microwave ding! I have to run in before it ends
It's so nice to hear about your son!
It does give me some hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel

I think fear of loud noises is pretty common at this age.

DS just turned 3 and is terrified of public toilets because of the hand dryers. A lot of his conversations are about things he’s found loud. Motorbikes going past, the hoover, neighbour using power tools etc.

I’ve been trying to talk to him about them and we do impressions of the noises followed by funny faces. It’s worked a bit as I can get him in a public loo now but he won’t use the toilet and just stares at the hand dryer.

My DM who is well acquainted with his fear of the dryers was out at a restaurant, used the hand dryer in the toilet and heard a scream. A girl about 4 yrs old came out of a cubicle with her mum crying because of the noise. DM felt awful as she knows how scared DS gets too.

I think it’s a phase they go through, some just are a bit more sensitive to noise than others.

[quote feb2022]@TurdCrapley it's awful isn't it!
I just don't know how I can help him it's seems relentless, I just hope he grows out of it soon [/quote]
Yeah it does feel relentless and you can't help but worry and get stressed. It just makes me want to stay in all the time but I know that won't help. Fingers crossed they grow out of it soon!

@nonono1

My nearly 3 year old is crying/screaming when people laugh(mainly me), kids crying and when someone he doesn't know talks to me.

@TurdCrapley Has he always been like this or is it a recent thing? I’m wondering if the events of the last 18 months could have played a part.

It's a recent thing yeah. He's always been shy and quiet but the pandemic has definitely made it worse. Especially the most recent lockdown, he was getting better when things were more open before that. He's started preschool now so I'm hoping that helps.

Look up sensory disorders/sensory diet /sensory processing
Read "the out of synch child"