Terrible twos? Really struggling

[Mamacita191]

Evening all.

Looking for some advice as a FTM. My DS is 19 months old. The last 2/3 months his behaviour has gone progressively worse. He screams A LOT. If he doesn’t get his way, if he wants something instead of pointing at what he wants he looks at it and screams, or if we even look at him and he doesn’t want us to, he just screams a lot as his way of communication. I’m really struggling with how to handle it. He doesn’t really have full blown tantrums with these. Just screaming as loud as possible. Although at times if you try to bring him inside the house after playing out he throws himself to the ground and refuses. He also moans a lot and is quite grumpy.

I feel like such a failure as a parent. My sisters have little girls the same age who aren’t this bad. It’s embarrassing when out as well to a point where I avoid events and stuff. I feel like either I’ve done something wrong parenting wise, or could it be behavioural problems? I really don’t know. Just really struggling to deal with it.

I dread the day times. Look forward to bedtime and nap time. Really not enjoying this at the moment.

Any been through this/going through this currently and have any tips?

Thank you x

Firstly it's not you failing, toddlers are tiny and wholly unreasonable dictators. Your little boy is suddenly realising he's his own person with his own ideas and things he wants to do. He's also probably got very little language to be able to express all these big thoughts and feelings so he's going to explore how he can communicate (screaming) and is going to get frustrated when you don't understand him or don't go along with how he wants to do things.

DD was very strong willed and difficult between about 15-19 months and we've reached a little lull now at nearly 2 where she's a bit better and easier to reason with (just in time for the terrible 2s to kick in I suppose )

Don't let it stop you going out as all parents have been there. We were mortified carrying our DD back through the lovely peaceful woods we'd gone for a walk around with her absolutely screaming blue murder. Didn't want pushchair, didn't want to walk, didn't want carrying, just wanted to screech for about 20 minutes at the top of her lungs. People just gave us knowing smiles or said how they'd been there :)

Try to be as consistent with you can and not let him get his own way by screaming. Also help him develop language by using lots of words, perhaps introducing signs so he can begin to communicate some of his needs without screaming.

You're doing a great job, they're just bloody hard work :)

You're not a failure as a parent at all. 17 months is when both of ours went horrible and my eldest was so bad that I actually didn't enjoy her company and didn't want to be around her. She was so violent towards me.
At one point she was having a tantrum and was doing a guttural scream whilst doing the crab and I asked me husband "at what point do we throw holy water on her?" 😂

Toddlers are arseholes but they WILL come out the other side and things will get better and easier.
You've got this 💖