I'm not sure why all this has reared up now but I am struggling to be present with my children and just crave alone time.
Eldest dc who is now a teen has ADD (but tends to do a lot of her own thing) but in general I always feel like I'm prompting. Second dc is likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and has required a lot of supervision in the past. A third ds who started nursery this week but is having major wobbles and is not settling in all that well.
I guess what has happened is this week, for the first time in a long time, I have had a (very small) taste of reclaiming 'me' time (only male extended family members and not on the doorstep, husband works full-time) so really childcare has been left to me.
I too, have a mh condition (recently diagnosed) part of the work is about putting myself first for a change. Therapy has started but I think doing this work has made me see how very little I've actually put myself first in the past. I suppose I've become exhausted and without decent emotional support feel out of my depth at times. Just to have an adult conversation with a friend without the distraction of having a little person there would be something. Perhaps things will change when youngest dc starts school. Just need somewhere to vent today.