Feel guilty for over reacting (DD9)

[sunshineOnaRainyday799]

Last night DD (9) was messing around before bed, it got to 10pm and she was still messing around in and out of bed, excuse after excuse. I lost it and shouted. Told her im sick of this every night and that she would not be going on a school trip at the end of the month, which has been planned. She cried and fell asleep.

I woke up this morning feeling so guilty. I can't stop crying. She is a good kid. Why did I over react. I know it's no excuse but I'm going through a stressful time; work, health and I suffered PND (which I still guilty for). Feel like a shit mum and that she deserves better

You’re only human. Sounds like she was being pretty annoying and disobedient so hopefully she won’t do that again.

Everyone breaks, sometimes they need telling off. Don't worry about it, explain to her why you got like that and you wont have to do it again if she behaves

I've been in this situation myself my 8 yr old DS messes around & finds excuses sometimes at bedtime & it does get frustrating although not their fault for the snapping sometimes we are only human.
I usually apologise the next day but sit him down and explain why I was so cross & that him messing around at bedtime is unacceptable & the reason behind a bedtime at all, I promise him he's not missing anything & that getting in & out of bed is unsettling for his 4 yr old sister.
Touch wood this has done the trick for a week or so now & he seems to settle better.
Don't be so hard on yourself OP I highly doubt you meant to snap & it doesn't make you a bad parent, realising you've upset them & not feeling bad about it would be more concerning. ❤️

I think you are being very hard on yourself.

Have a sensible chat with her about how bedtimes are a mess. Find out if anything is bothering her. Let her earn back the trip by being sensible this week over going to bed.

Your guilt over PND needs addressing - you could not help it, you are not defined as a parent by having PND.

Don't feel guilty. Sit her down and say you're sorry for shouting, but you were very tired and frustrated. Explain that her behaviour at bedtime is causing a lot of upset and that she needs to go to bed when she is asked because it means she will be fresh and ready for the next day and also you and the rest of the family will feel better. When she stays up it has repercussions on everyone.
Then say you're happy to reinstate the school trip so long as bed times improve from here on in.

Thank you so much for replying. I will have a word with her this morning and apologise. I think i was just so tired and she was disrupting DD(5) I just snapped. I feel so guilty still

Well she has a few weeks to stop arsing about at bedtime..
Job done.
Bedtime isn't playtime - you aren't her mate.. You parented her like many who are shattered and need dc to get to bloody bed!
Now she knows you mean business she may settle better..
She gets her trip. You get sanity back.

Don't feel bad.
Sometimes showing our kids that we are getting annoyed and frustrated can be effective. As long as it's not the habitual state of play.
Apologise to her for shouting, but it is an opportunity to explain why you got angry and that it's actually important for everyone in the house to be reasonable at bedtime and not disturb others too.
I wouldn't withhold the trip - or even the threat of it as a tool. They aren't connected.