Rejected by toddler. Heartbroken

[RejectedMum]

My toddler has always been a daddy's boy, I'm the main caregiver (he has one day a week with just his dad) and it's always stung a bit but I've told myself he loves me too. But when we're out in public, with family, he always wants his dad to hold him not me, only daddy can do bedtime, only daddy can do this or that.

I went away for a few nights and since I got back it's so much worse, I've been home 2 days and he hasn't wanted me at all. He won't let me give him a hug, if I try to pick him up he hits me bites me or pulls my hair, screams for his daddy, ive not had a look in.

I know people say they go through phases but this has gone on for so long and how much worse it's got after time away just confirms all my fears. He really just doesn't like me. I don't know what I've done wrong. I feel like I should just go at this point.

Youre the main caregiver, his dad is a bit of a novelty.

I know its hurtful, but it means he's secure with you (I know it sounds cliche, but its so true). Most of us have been there and done that, and there does come a point when you haven't been for a wee by yourself for 3 days solid that you'll miss the time they aren't obsessed with your every move.

That sounds tough. He doesn't hate you, I promise. Kids are complex little creatures and go through phases. Just keep trying to do fun stuff and I'm sure he'll get over it.

That sounds really hard OP. We love them so much and it really hurts when it feels like they're rejecting us. As a PP said, as you're the primary care giver, it sounds like your DP is the fun, novelty one. And your toddler is secure enough in his attachment to you, that he has the confidence to branch out and enjoy exploring the other people in his life. He is not rejecting you, however much it feels like it. And these things tend to swing about. A few months and it could well be the other way round.

Do you and your partner have similar ways of parenting?

That's heartbreaking to be on the receiving end of.
It will pass. As others have said his rejection of you perversely is because he trusts you just to be there.

P. A. It also sounds like your toddler might be 'punishing' you for going away too, even if subliminally. When I got back from giving birth to my dc2 in hospital, my older toddler rejected me for a while after I got back.