11 week old refusing bottle - help!

[Snickers94]

Hi all, my DD will be 12 weeks on Wednesday and has recently started refusing her bottle after drinking 2-3oz, sometimes 3.5oz. I asked the HV about this and she said baby is taking everything she needs from her bottle. But that’s not very reassuring when she was drinking 4oz regularly by 8 weeks? Around 9 weeks she was sometimes even taking 5oz.

If I try to get her to drink more, she will refuse and not close her mouth over the teat or push it away. She does not cry. We’ve tried changing the teat size, warming the bottle again as she doesn’t like when the milk goes cold, Infacol for gas build up (she is gassy), swirling the milk rather than shaking etc. She is on Aptamil after previously being on Hipp Organic.

She used to be on carobel but I don’t think it’s reflux bothering her because while she does spit up and vomit from time to time she seems content and happy most of the time and it’s far better now than it was before.

Her weight gain has slowed down a little as a result of this but she is still gaining. I am worried though because she isn’t a big baby, she sits between the 15th and 25th percentiles and I just don’t think 2-3oz of formula will cut it for a near 3 month old when she was previously taking 4-5. I wondered whether it was the bottles themselves - we use MAM bottles but loads of bubbles in the bottle and she does take in air and makes a weird kissing noise when drinking from the teats which she didn’t used to make. But it feels like a bit of a reach.

Has anyone had experience with anything similar and if so, did anything help your baby take the amount of milk they were taking before?

My eldest refused feeds, but he would scream when it was feeding time. He did have reflux that was bad.

My youngest was (and still is) a grazer. Would never have more than 3 ounces a feed. But wanted fed every couple of hours. He still eats little and often now. Just how he is.

She drinks her milk around every 3 hours, which is exactly the same as when she was drinking 4-5oz except now it is suddenly less

You are right to be concerned as it's unusual. It could be that she had a "catch up" spurt and gained weight and now is levelling off.

She could be feeling full/uncomfortable due to reflux/gassy tummy

I did also wonder about whether she was drinking 4/5oz due to a growth spurt but she was slowly increasing her milk intake for a while. Some days we would get her cues wrong and would feed her when she was actually tired, so she would drink 2oz and would then cry with hunger to drink 2oz again after 2 hours so it kind of levelled out, and then during her night feed she would drink around 5oz and would reset back to her usual 4oz every 3 hours the next day.

That’s why I’m finding it weird that she drank 2oz before bed despite crying with hunger 3 hours after her last feed, woke up just now but wasn’t hungry.. it’s really strange but I’m reluctant to contact HV again as she seems to think DD is just taking what she needs. I deff don’t think it’s normal behaviour for her?

I think the current thinking is very much feed on demand.

Mine were breast fed at that stage so I have no ideas how much they consumed so it was easier to not be concerned about it.

Are there plenty of wet and dirty nappies still?

I was breastfeeding but she’s quite an inefficient feeder - would often fuss at the breast, fall asleep during feeds, spit up, latch and unlatch, was v gassy, and her top lip was always curled and not “out” like how they tell you it should be. Also she would feed for ages but my boobs would still have a lot of milk in them when she was done, as if she barely took anything in! Honestly I’ve been struggling with feeding her, whether it’s breast or bottle but bottle has been easier and I was so happy when she was taking 4oz. I don’t breastfeed anymore because my supply dropped a lot and even before that she just cried whenever I tried to EBF.

Most of the time she has plenty of wet and dirty nappies, though I’ve started tracking them as sometimes she doesn’t seem to have too many and other times she has loads. Today she’s had 5 changes.

Hi OP

My baby was the same!
Instead of increasing her ml intake, she was feeding much much less.

Called the HV straight away and now she’s on monthly weightings and the HV gave me the following advice:

1. Avoid sleep-feeding during the day
2. Feed on demand, wait for baby’s hunger cues
3. Do not continuously offer the bottle, offer once/twice only
4. Rule out any health conditions

My baby has up days and down days, the aversion never fully went away for her, but I have seen an improvement

Thank you for the advice! So today I contacted the HV again telling her something doesn’t feel right to me and she advised me to go to A&E to see a paediatrician to give DD a check over. But then she took a 4oz bottle, before going back to 2.5oz. She also only had 2 full nappies today and the second wasn’t even full, the line wasn’t fully blue.

We gave the rest of her bottle via syringe and she took it all and seemed to want to keep going as I was feeding her with it. I don’t understand why she will take the milk via syringe but not bottle. It can’t be the teat size as we have tried switching up to no avail. Has anyone ever experienced this?

I’d try a different bottle. My DD hated MAM bottles whatever teat size I used. I had success with Nuk.

@Vicky1989x yes I’m thinking I may have to try that 😫

Just have a little update - I contacted the health visitor again who told me to go to A&E to see a paediatrician if I’m worried. Went to A&E, they said it’s not an emergency despite her having less wet nappies, they told me the wait is long and hinted I’m better off going to the GP so I said fine.

In between that time I’ve been dream feeding her up to 3 times a day, she’s way sleepier than usual and by feeding her whilst she’s asleep I’ve managed to get her up to around 700ml some days, so she’s gained a bit of weight and is having more wet nappies. If I do not do this sometimes she will take less than 500ml and less wet nappies too. It’s meant feeding her , 10-11pm, 1-2am and 5/6am. She sleeps throughout.

I didn’t think this was sustainable so I contacted the GP after seeing she’s back to drinking an ounce for some feeds and long story short he said she’s fine. He told me to feed her 3 ounces every 3 hours even during the night and said unfortunately some mums just have to do this. He said she’s gaining weight and following her curve but it’s because I’ve been dream feeding her religiously and she’s not aware of what she’s doing. Last night I didn’t dream feed and she didn’t wake up for a feed until nearly 7am after having her last at 8.30pm.

But i don’t understand because she never used to do this before? She was always quite a hungry baby tbh. Anyway he reluctantly referred her to paediatrician when I said she has less wet nappies than before.

Am I just being really paranoid? I always felt like something isn’t right but now I just feel confused? Is it normal for babies to do this, and normal for me to feed her on my schedule rather than her own for her to get the amount of milk she needs?

Another thing - we have to hold her up for half an hour after feeds so that she doesn’t posset too much, particularly now that she’s drinking less. Feeding her every 2-3 hours day and night is relentless when we have to also stay up half an hour afterwards with her on her shoulder.

I feel like I’m being a bad mum for not thinking this is a good solution.

The fact that she is taking it well when sleeping suggests to me that this is not a physical problem, if feeding/milk was causing pain due to reflux etc then the pain wouldn’t suddenly stop when she was asleep. Sounds like a feeding aversion, this is where the baby associates feeding with something negative therefore takes just enough to not feel hungry and then refuses more, I suggest you have a look at Rowena Bennett’s book on feeding aversions, it completely turned things around for us and our daughter when she was acting exactly like your little one!

@MotherOfDragon20 I saw reimah also mentioned an aversion, I’m starting to think that maybe that’s what it is. I don’t know why she has an aversion though, I’ll admit I’ve been trying to get her to drink the milk quite a lot when she refuses, could it be that? I feel really guilty because people have made comments about her saying she’s too small even though the docs were really pleased with her weight gain by 8 weeks, and it put a lot of pressure on me to make sure she gains weight. She’s really sleepy too since this has happened, I barely even get time to do tummy time during the day anymore because she has her small feed, awake for about 15-20 mins after and then starts fussing because she’s super tired and wants to sleep. Last night she slept 12 hours because I didn’t dream feed her to see if she would wake up by herself, and she’s been asleep all day today too. I feel bad thinking I’ve led my girl to have an aversion!

I bf mine both but I had to wake both up every 3 hours to feed and my second I had to hold upright for at least half an hour after every feed.

I know this is old thread but @Snickers94 can you please tell how did it go? Did you find the solution as I have been facing more or less similar issue. May baby has stopped taking his bottle all of a sudden. He almost always refuses it and hes never hyngry. Please help !!!

@Lookingforpositivity same here! My little one was taking 120ml every feed and was considering giving him 150ml and he now takes 90ml to 110ml if lucky, just now took 50ml. But i think he is super gassy. Is your baby okay during feeds?

Hi both, sorry for replying late.

Turns out my DD did have a bottle feeding aversion. I read Rowena Bennett's "your baby's bottle feeding aversion" and applied the tips and it helped a lot! I would deff recommend reading it.

Essentially, I stopped all forms of coercion to try to get DD to drink. Offered a bottle every 3 hours, but didn't offer it more than twice and if she didn't take it I just put it away for next time. Baby needs to feel like they won't be pressured, even subtly - so I stopped wiggling the teat in her mouth, repeatedly offering her the bottle etc.

Also, I stopped dream feeding in the night, and let her dictate when she wanted a feed. It meant that she was more willing to drink throughout the day.

It took about 3 weeks for her to feed normally again, but I will say that my DD has never been a big milk drinker. She's always been up and down, even now at 10 months. She prefers food a LOT more and barely drinks milk anymore!

Good luck to you both

Thanks for the update @Snickers94 !
And for anyone else that might find this thread, my baby displayed all the signs of silent reflux. I ended up switching bottles from Mam to Dr Browns, changed formula and moved up a teat! I read online that a possible cause for children struggling to feed could be teat size and the one up seems to have helped a lot. After a few days big difference, he slowly taking more and more during feeds and not showing signs of discomfort as before.

Thanks for the updates and advice all. I’m currently going through the same thing so will be saving this post!

Also, if the lips don't curl like they should, consider that the lip band may be tied, equivalent of tongue tie. A lactation consultant with experience could check for this

My little one does have a lip tie so not sure if that impacted her feeding. Gosh, it seems so weird that this was only a year ago and yet she's 16 months now and walking and talking! Crazy how fast they grow.