Did anyone BF one child and FF another?

[deedsnotwords11]

Just pondering what I would do...

My first baby had a tongue tie, missed due to covid and due to lack of support we ended up topping up from the start and switching to fully formula around a month old.

We are discussing a second baby and I would really like to have another crack at breastfeeding, knowing what I do now.

But I'm worried it makes it unfair between my children if I've only breastfed one of them - what if the breastfed one is poorly less often or something and I feel awful for not managing to give my first born the same milk.

Has anyone had one BF child and one FF child? How do you feel about it if so?

I think you should do what is best for each child at the time. Doesn’t mean you have to do the exact same thing, just what is best in that moment.

Yep, my eldest was fully formula fed from two weeks old, and I'm still breastfeeding my youngest at 9 months. I don't feel it's unfair between them - I know a lot more this time round than I did with my eldest, and my youngest just 'took' to breastfeeding much more easily.

Oh and with regards to illness, my youngest has had more colds than my eldest at this age, as my eldest brings back all his nursery germs

Yep. First was formula fed from very early. Second I breast fed for 14 months and has never taken a bottle

Sorry. I didn't answer your question. Ds2 was quite healing for me. Ds1 was poorly from birth and I didn't get the experience I wanted. I don't really feel anything now apart from appreciative that I had the chance to heal emotionally

Eldest formula feed - tried to breastfeed i found it a struggle and gave up fairly quickly! Second time breast fed - baby just knew what to do everything was easier as I was at ease.
I don’t feel that one has something over the other.

Ironically the breastfed baby has allergies and eczema.

Combi fed number 1 due to weight and allergy issues.

Number 2 fed like a dream and was EBF.

Every baby is different and that's ok.

Not exactly, though my first was mixed fed from when I returned to work and my younger 2 never had any formula at all, because I'd learned a variety of things about expressing by then.
The thing is, you just can't treat different children identically, partly because they are all different and partly because you, and your circumstances change. Second and later babies benefit from what you've learned first time, but never have exactly the same family dynamics as the firstborn does. Swings and roundabouts. I did lots of things differently- in some ways "better" - with my later babies but I consider that I treated them equally, in the sense that I did the best I could in the circumstances every time. Equal doesn't mean identical.

Yes, though because if why I don't have guilt issues over it.

I ff my first by choice from birth (with a tiny bit of bf initially). With my second i attempted to combination feed initially (50-50) and then move to formula. Baby refused bottles and so i was kind of forced into EBF. Shes gone 2 and still bf now, and I'm still not keen but too soft to say no 😂

Both are great ways of feeding a baby IMO. I don't personally feel like breast feeding is a better way, or better milk necessarily, but I do like that it's a natural product and given is always choose fresh milk over powdered, I think it's nice to be able to do it.

Both are bright little things that have been very healthy. My first had more minor bugs etc in her first 2 years, but my second has spent much of that time under lockdown or with less opportunities to socialise, so it may well be that (my eldest had less bugs in lockdown too).

My bond is equally lovely with both, though i feel its more equal between us as parents with my ff baby.

I have zero guilt because I'm not a believer in breast is best. If i have another child, ill likely try combination feeding again, and hopefully they'd take both, but I'm happy to go with their preference. Its nice to not have bottle admin and milk on tap, but its also nice to share the nights and not be knackered.

My mum has four DC, breast fed the first two and formula fed the other two. Fifty + years later, there are no noticeable differences between us.

I had a traumatic birth with dc1, I tried to breastfeed but ended up giving up after about 4 days. I'd been to breastfeeding workshops and really wanted to do it. Felt like a failure because it was supposed to be the natural thing to do, but it wasn't working for either of us. Dc1 thrived on formula, is now a strapping teen and fit as an ox.

Tried again with dc2, he took to it much easier. I didn't put pressure on myself and had a tin of formula ready to go just incase. Fed him for 15 months. Ironically, he's the one with all the health issues. Do what's right for you.

Also, to echo what someone else says - you'll drive yourself mad if you do everything equally. Every child and situation is different.

My first (ff) slept in my bed/cosleeper cot for much longer than my bf baby. That's because my ff baby was just content with me being close/touching, but my bf baby kept waking for a suck or two every 4-10 minutes, it wasn't something I could sleep through, and was unsustainable. She needed the boobs out of range to sleep.

There are things my youngest I'd allowed to do that my eldest wasn't at that age, and vice versa. They have different strengths, abilities etc.

As a PP said, you just do your best for each child as it happens. No two experiences are ever exactly the same between siblings. And anyway, you did BF your first OP, for a month! Even just a few days or weeks of breastmilk will have some benefits.

Also, your second child may indeed turn out to have a more robust immune system for a while, but this could just as well be due to being the 2nd child and having earlier and more frequent exposure to germs and bugs, picked up from your first child. It seems to help them as they get older! All 4 of my children are and were only ever BF, but my oldest doesn't seem to have such a robust immune system as the others, which is possibly because she wasn't exposed to many germs in the 1st 2 years of her life (went to nursery at 2). The others of course had exposure from their newborn days!

Ultimately, you did your best for your 1st child, giving them necessary top ups and then switching, due to problems caused by TT.

First was bf for the first 12 weeks. The other two were ff from the outset . Didn't have a problems. All three have grown up fit and healthy. Do what suits you - ignore anybody who says otherwise.

‘Fair’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘the same’.

I bfed DC2 for far longer than DC1. Now both secondary ages and - of course - both fine!

If it helps I’m an adult, and one of 4. my three siblings were BF. I was not.

Whilst it feels a vital and emotional decision as a mother, I can tell you it has made precisely zero difference to me as an adult. I DO have more allergies than my siblings, but there’s no reason to assume it is how I was fed as a baby that caused it.

My feelings have always been that mum made the best decision for both of us at the time.

I bf my first for a year - she's 17 now and has every illness and allergy going...

FF second child after 2 weeks as she just couldn't feed properly. I felt guilty to start with but then realised the bonding was absolutely no different to with my first. She's as healthy as an ox and is very rarely ill.

I breastfed one twin for just over four weeks. Very good reasons. I did feel guilty at the time, but didn't feel I shouldn't bf one because the other couldn't. The bf twin is the one with asthma and assorted allergies, I think I would have felt worse if it had been the other way round.
OP just do whatever you feel is best for each child at the time. Not everything has to be exactly the same.
My children are now healthy young adults and neither has a clue how they were fed for the first month of their life. I doubt they would cate.

Yep, first child was FF. she's ten now and hasn't seen a GP since she was 2- she's a super healthy little thing and never complains when she has a cold etc, just goes to school throughout (obvs pre covid!) it's hard to say if BF baby two will be the same as obvs she hasn't had the same exposure to bugs yet, but I don't think it's a big deal to do this at all. You don't even need to tell either of them how they were fed

Couldn't read and run op.

DS - struggled bor 8 weeks with infective mastitis and an abscess and then gave in and switched to formula. Not sure whether all the traces of ab's and painkillers outweighed the benefits of bf tbh.

DD: I had practiced on ds, so to speak and fully fed dd until about 9 months when she decided there were far more interesting things going on in half term than breastfeeding feeding.

DS had bronchiolitis, repeat ear infections and mild asthma. DD had exactly the same. DS is lactose intolerant; dd wheat intolerant.

They are 26 and 23. If anything dd is slightly less robust than ds.

Ff my first and bf my second. I don't feel guilty. But it would have been nice to have the cuddles with my first when feeding as he's never really been that cuddly!! Deffo don't let keeping things the same stop you from trying with the second x

BF is a relationship unique to you and each child. It is a partnership between you and sometimes one of you for whatever reason doesn't take to it. That doesn't mean it should impact any subsequent bf relationships in my opinion.

Me. 1st was premmie, he just wouldn't suck so went to formula. 2nd was full term and took to it like a pro. I don't see either has had an advantage or disadvantage. I know many disagree, but honestly fed is best, whichever way you do it.

Agree fed is best and you do what works for you.

People who judge, well it says a lot about them really!

Yes. My breast fed baby got ill a lot more than the FF ones. I don’t feel guilty.