SCHOOL RUN PARENTS sufficating

[Kb20201]

Hi,
This may sound silly, but the school run really stresses me out. My daughter has a friend who is a little too much! My daughter has told me her friend gets up set with her if she plays with another child, doesn't stay close to her or doesn't wait for her at the school gates after school. My daughter told me she will now, not play with other children because she doesn't want to upset this friend.

At the school pick up, this friend of hers waits outside the school gates with her mum EVERYDAY ! Wanting a 15 min play date. I'm making up excuses to get home!

I don't mean to be mean but I don't have time to be hanging around after school, I have a lot on. The children have just spent 6.5 hours together in school, they are 6, still a lot of play throughout the day at school.

This friend moans that we have to go, and even asks me "can I come to your house". I feel there are no boundaries, it makes me so uncomfortable. I just want to grab and go!

I've even had the dad on my back for play dates. I feel suffocated.

I have given them playdates, but they just seem to want more and more. What I can't stand most of all is them waiting for us everyday outside school gates! So intrusive! This mother has also invited herself out with my family, which I managed to wiggle out of!

Does your daughter actually like this child? Can you enrol her in after school club so there’s a genuine reason that they can’t have a play date?

All you can really do here is "train" them. "No, sorry Charlotte, we have to go shopping/to see grandma/walk the dog/get dinner on/be anywhere that isn't here. You'll see DD at school tommorow.". Then go on your way with a smile. This girl is obviously getting her "boundary issues" from her parents. Show your DD that it's ok to be clear and then leave. She shouldn't be feeling like she has to only talk to this girl and can't have more friends, that's controlling and wrong. The parents should get the message that you won't be doing these "play dates" every day, and if they take offence then really it might not be that bad if they back away and this girl backs off your DD. They're so young and your DD needs to know that she can playand talk with whoever she wants to beofre this carries on so long that she only has this girl becuase no one else dares try to.

Thank you. Unfortunately they are very good friends at school. Life would be easier if they weren't.

Could you decide how often you are happy to do a playdate and tell them and keep repeating like a stuck record. "Not today. You can come on Monday 9th."
Next day "Not today you can come Monday 9th" etc etc

I signed my son up this year for after school club because of this. It's just too much

After School Club, but on random days, else you will find her friends mum will start asking you, what days does your DD attend!

Luckily our after school club is 'only' £2, so sometimes my DC is there anywhere from 10 mins to the full hour, depending on what I need to do.